Division of the Heart
by kenmaslow
Summary: Kendall Knight had no idea how two different person could have too many similarities. Shane Adams, his lover who left 5 years ago and James Diamond, the successful young CEO. How it could happen?
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi guys! This is my first fic. I posted this story on wattpad but since I got my fanfiction account back so I thought I'd post here too. **_

_**This is an AU fan fiction. It means Big Time Rush and their relationships don't exist. **_

_**I hope all of you beautiful people like my story. Please rate and review, it means a lot for me. **_

_**Thanks! **_

"Seriously, Mom..." Kendall groaned, "I'm fine. I don't need staying here." He grumbled, begging to his Mom.

Jennifer Knight gave her one and only son a thin smile, right hand extended to cares her son's head, "Sweety, it's just a week, okay?"

Kendall's mouth pouted, "A week is not an only. It's a long time. How can I explain to my friends?" he stared at her harshly, "Hey, guys. I won't be home for a week because I have depression and I need to stay here until I get better." He mocked as he talked to his friends.

His Mom laughed, "Stop mocking, Kendall Knight. It's only a week."

Kendall let out a deep sigh. He lost. He couldn't be won from his Mom, worse, from doctors, "Alright," He nodded, "Just a week. No more."

Jennifer pulled her son into her warm hug, "See you next week." Before she walked out from inpatient room, she kissed Kendall's forehead, long and soft.

"Bye, Mom. Take care." Kendall smiled as he watched his Mom walked out from his room.

Now he's all alone. He looked around at the empty and cold hospital room. The reason why he _forced _to stay here because he had depression and his therapist felt needed for Kendall stayed here. What caused the depression? Kendall's Dad died 3 months ago and Kendall couldn't help himself. He loved his parents so much, more than anything. He was really close to his Dad like a best friend and to admit now he's gone was really hard for Kendall.

Kendall threw his body into a bed. It's just 10 minutes or so but he's already in a deadly boring situation. There's no TV, no iPhone, nothing. It's just a room with bed, sofa, bathroom and drawer.

Someone knocked the door and later on a nurse showed up. She smiled and gave Kendall a small pill.

"What is it?" he asked before swallow it into his body.

She handed him a glass of water, "A sedative, for you to take once a day. Take some sleep, Kendall."

He sighed, "It's too early to get sleep..." he murmured, "Uh... can I walk to a park or other places here? I'm bored."

She nodded, "If you promise you won't escape."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "How can I escape when you put a sensor on my foot like a prisoner?" he grumbled.

"Trust me, it's for your own good." She smiled, "Make sure you come back at 10. It's your sleep time." She answered before got out from Kendall's room.

Kendall sighed. He only had one hour to catch fresh air - fresh as an air in hospital, very fresh. He took his varsity jacket and gray beanie then made his way to get out from his room. The hospital hallway was really creepy. Not a dark and empty hallway, otherwise it's bright and nurses walking back and forth. What made it creepy was the way people stare at him, like he's abandoned to walk alone.

Kendall had no idea where he wanted to go until he saw a park. The teen's hospital building actually had a really cool park like how Los Angeles's parks. The decoration was pretty cool with graffiti and skateboarding track. Kendall felt sarcastic about the skateboarding track, are they - doctors and nurses - really let their patients play skateboard?

He sat on the bench under the Eek Tree. He raised his head up to see the clear sky. He hoped there were stars. He always loves stars. His mind ran randomly in moments he had with his Dad. They once stargazing on a hidden hill in Los Angeles and that's cool. His Dad talked so much, telling him his teen's life which was really weird for Kendall as a modern version of his Dad.

Donald Knight was a lovely caring man and Kendall grateful to be his son. He was a successful CEO of Knight &amp; Co - which now running by his Mom - who always has time for his family, especially for his son. The fact that he died and left Kendall was the least thing Kendall had to admit. No, Kendall didn't cry when he heard his Dad died in car accident. No, Kendall didn't cry at the funeral. No, Kendall didn't cry at all, but deep inside his heart, he's dying. He's dying because for some reasons, God took his Dad away from him and his Mom.

Kendall knew he had to let him go, but hell, that's fucking hard.

He looked around the park, hoping he could do something to get his Dad out from his mind. There's none here. Maybe he better got back to his room. He stood up and walked back to the hallway, but he accidentally slipped out on a rock and crashed someone.

"Aw..."

They both landed on the grass. Kendall opened his eyes. He should be the one who landed on the grass but he wasn't, the brunet pale boy was.

"Sorry!" Kendall rushed to get himself stood back and extended his hand to help the brunet.

The other boy laughed, "You're surprisingly pretty heavy," he took Kendall's offer to get back on his feet.

Kendall grinned. He saw the brunet was already in his hospital pajama but he wore a brown cardigan for some coat, "Sorry. Did you hurt?"

"No," the brunet shook his head, "Did you?"

"I'm not the person who landed on the dirty grass, so... I'm good." Kendall let out a relief sigh. The brunet is a patient and Kendall just dropped his body on a patient. It could be caused some serious problem.

The brunet smiled, showing his white and perfect teeth, "No problem."

Kendall's eyeball caught a drawing book, the brunet must be dropped it while they're crashed. He bended to take the drawing book and gave it back to the brunet, "It must be yours."

"Thanks," the brunet nodded, "I never see you here. You're new?"

Okay. There's a problem. The brunet asked him _'you're new' _as they were at school, like this wasn't a strange place. _Dude, this is hospital!_

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, hand touched back of his neck, "Just check in an hour ago."

The brunet chuckled, "Why are you here?"

Kendall gasped, "Uh..." he wasn't sure how to answer.

_I'm here because depression_. Seriously, is that a good answer?

The brunet smiled, "I know. You don't have to answer it if you're not ready yet."

"Cool." Kendall nodded, "Why are you here?" he asked him back.

"Leukemia," The brunet answered in a calm tone like he didn't mention a serious illness.

Kendall almost dropped his jaws. The brunet seemed fine - he's taller than him, his brunet hair was a good haircut, and _damn, he's fucking handsome._

"Don't feel sorry for me," the brunet signed him to follow him to the bench, "I'm perfectly fine, it's only my blood."

_Only?_

Kendall nodded. He had no idea how to respond. "You like drawing?" he pointed to the brunet's drawing book.

He nodded, "A lot. It's the only way to kill the time here. I can't play music in this time so drawing is the best option."

"You play music? What do you play?" Kendall sat next to him.

In this distance, Kendall could smell the brunet's natural musk and his perfume or cologne, or whatever it was but it's really tempting and smells really good.

"I play guitar and piano but mostly piano," the brunet opened his drawing book page by page, searching the empty one, "Do you play?"

"Guitar, I play guitar and also a vocalist on my band."

Kendall didn't realize that this boy had the most beautiful hazel eyes until they're widened as the brunet heard Kendall's answer, "You have a band? Wow!"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, proudly, "Unfortunately I'm ended up here."

The brunet smiled, "I'm sure you're only a week or so here. Am I right?"

Kendall wasn't sure why this boy attractive so much - other than his incredibly handsome face and his character.

"A week, how did you know?"

He chuckled, "Because you're fine. You just need a little help."

Okay, the brunet must be knew something more than Kendall thought, "You know why am I here?"

"Yes," the brunet nodded in a certainty, "Depression."

Kendall sighed, "Geez... you must be a therapist."

"I met many people here," the brunet gave him better answer, "People like you, which were really fine, will get better really soon. Trust me, you're perfectly fine." He talked without seeing Kendall, draw something on his drawing book.

Kendall stared at a pair of hazel eyes. There's something about this boy which invited him in.

He wanted to know more about this boy.

"I'm Kendall."

The brunet raised his head and gave him a soft smile, "I'm Shane."

Kendall smiled, "Don't you need more time to rest?" he checked his watch, it's almost ten, "I should get back to my room at 10. I guess you're too, right? Nurse said it's my sleep time."

Shane nodded, "Yeah, I'll get back to my room after I draw something."

"You won't get any trouble?"

Shane shrugged, "Guess, I already in a trouble now."

Kendall felt guilty, "Sorry, didn't mean to..."

"No," Shane shook his head, "Stop saying sorry to me, Kendall. Hey, are you sleepy?"

Kendall had no idea why Shane asked about that but he answered it anyway, "Nope. I'm wide awake. Why?"

Shane closed his drawing book, "I have a cool place to show you." he suddenly stood up, "Come on!"

Kendall followed the brunet to the hallway. They turned to the emergency exit and made their way to the stairs, reached up to the top of building. Shane opened another red door and waited Kendall to walk in first.

"Roof?" Kendall asked in disbelieve.

Shane put his hand around Kendall's shoulder, "Come on, don't be sarcastic. You'll like it!"

Kendall rolled his eyes. He didn't believe he followed an order from a boy he just met.

But that boy was right.

It's only a usual building roof but the view was unusual. It's LA. From here, they could see the beautiful LA scenery - LA night life. The light, the clear sky, the buildings, everything mixed up beautifully.

Kendall turned his head to see the brunet who standing next to him. That's even more beautiful. Shane's face with a bright and cheerful smile, beautiful hazel eyes locking on the view, hair messed up by the wind.

_Damn._

_Is it love at the first sight?_


	2. Chapter 2

"Kendall, wake up!" Shane squeezed Kendall's shoulders roughly, tried his best to wake the blond. Kendall murmured something unclear, still closed his eyes. Shane gave him another squeeze hoping the blond could wake up now.

"Kendall, we're falling asleep. We're in so much trouble!" Shane's statement made Kendall opened his eyes, shocked, "Damn! Dude, you made me in trouble!" Kendall stood up, reached his beanie on the floor and put it back on his head, covered the dirty hair.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. We shouldn't fall asleep here, come on! It's not too late to get back to our room." Shane grabbed Kendall's hand and pulled it softly as a sign to follow him.

"Where's your room?" Shane asked without turned his head back to see Kendall behind him.

"372," Kendall answered in unsure tone. He really had trouble with remember something, especially something that he thinks didn't even matter.

Shane nodded, "Good, it close from here."

"How about your room?" Kendall asked him back. He stared at Shane's brunet hair, it messy – bed hair – but it mess beautifully. He suddenly remembered Shane's face when the brunet woke him up. His perfect teeth, pink lips, hazel eyes, Kendall could easily woke up to this every day.

_Wait. What?_

No. Kendall couldn't be falling in love this fast! He barely knows him! Well, yes, Kendall totally gay but hell no, he didn't falling in love to random boy whom he met at the hospital. And he had cancer. He could die soon. Okay, that's fucking rude. But that's true! Kendall hated being left. Hell no, he swore with his life, he didn't want to be the one who left behind.

"We're here!" Shane gave him a wide smile. They're in front of Kendall's room. How they got here so fast?

Kendall smiled, "Thanks. Uh… sorry, I didn't mean to blame you."

"Not a problem," Shane gave him a big smile, "See you tomorrow, Kendall!" the brunet ran before Kendall could say something else.

Kendall stared to Shane's back going further, "See you tomorrow, Shane."

The next day ran really slow. It's one of Kendall Knight's boring days and he couldn't resist the temptation of escaping. Luckily, he's a prisoner now. He couldn't go anywhere with this black bracelet on his right foot, a sensor. That thing was fucking annoying.

Kendall just finished his first therapy with Dr. Bennett, a middle age woman who actually really nice, made him remember about his Mom. It would be great if he had his phone, he could call his Mom and friends, especially his band mates – Carlos, Logan and Dustin. They're in the middle of writing new song for their band and they might be wondering where the fuck was Kendall.

Or, maybe his Mom already told them?

Kendall had shiver all over his body imagining his friends' reaction. How if they started to hate him because he had depression? Was it cool to have a depression vocalist? Hell, no.

"Kendall?" Rosa, his nurse, called his name.

He turned his head, "Hm?"

"What's wrong?" she handed him a glass of water and a pink pill, "You blanked off."

Kendall swallowed the pill in one shot, "Nothing."

"You know, if you really want to get out of here really fast, you need to start talking." She smiled, "You can talk to me or Dr. Bennett."

Kendall nodded, "Thanks."

She smiled, "Do you need anything else?"

"No," Kendall pulled out his beanie, "Do you know Shane, the boy who has cancer?"

Rosa nodded, "Shane Adams. He's in the same age with you. Why?"

"Do you know where his room is?" Kendall blushed, "I met him last night."

She stared at him, "Oh… uh… You better meet him at the park,"

"Why?"

"He might be didn't want you see him while he had his infusion and all." She smiled wryly, "He was really shy."

Kendall sighed, "That's why he didn't answer me last night."

"But he's really a good boy, everyone here likes him."

Kendall nodded in agreement, "Yeah."

"He's really strong. Unfortunately doctors said there's nothing they could do with him," Rosa stopped talking, like she was slipped her tongue out, "He's a poor boy."

Kendall wanted to ask more about Shane but Rosa took the tray and stood, "I'll check you out after lunch. Have a good day, Kendall."

"Thanks." Kendall threw his body on the bed.

His mind ran into what Rosa said a moment ago about Shane. There's nothing doctors could do with him? Was it meant Shane was going to die soon? He's dying? Pain came into Kendall's heart. It scared him to think about the brunet was dying. He's really fine, he just a little pale. Kendall only knew the brunet less than 24 hours but it scared him for a fact that the brunet might be leaving him anytime soon.

He jumped from his bed and walked out toward the park. Eyes searching the tall, brunet and handsome boy but he didn't show anywhere. Shane wasn't here. Kendall took a seat under the Eek tree, his previous place, hoping he could see the brunet and they could talk like last night.

Kendall looked around. The park was as quite as last night. What was the point of making a park in the hospital building? The patients might have no mood to hang out here anyway.

He rested his head on the tree, closed his eyes as he felt the sunlight kissed his face. It felt good – warm and calm. He changed his position. He laid his body on the bench, face facing the clear sky. The clouds were really beautiful today – it's so white and clean. The sky was really blue. Kendall remembered the day when he went for fishing with his Dad. The sky was same with today, it was a really good day. He hated fishing but he loved spend his time with his Dad. He always does.

He started to close his eyes, trying to clear his head from those memories about his Dad. If it wasn't him, then who could?

Kendall opened his eyes and realized he was fall asleep at the park. He woke to sit and saw the brunet sat in front of him, drew something on his drawing book.

"Hi," Shane smiled, "Afternoon, Lazy Ass."

Kendall chuckled. He had to admit that he missed the brunet, seeing Shane was the best thing to see in the first time he woke up, "Hey."

Shane was no longer wore hospital pajama. He wore normal clothes – white long sleeves and jeans. The only thing that not normal was there's an infusion's hose stuck on his left wrist.

"You didn't have it yesterday," Kendall pointed to the infusion.

Shane raised his head, "Oh," he turned to see the infusion, "Yeah, now I have it, pretty sucks." He grinned.

"What is that?" Kendall moved closer to the other boy. He could smell Shane's natural musk and his cologne. It smelled so tempting.

Shane shrugged his shoulder, right hand working on the drawing book, "I don't know. Never ask,"

Kendall kept his mouth shut. Shane didn't seem wanted to talk about his illness or something like that, but he's pretty opened up about that. It made Kendall confuse and relief at the same time. Remembering what Rosa told him just made him scared even more.

"What do you draw?" Kendall stared at Shane's handsome face.

Shane smiled, "I'll show you when it finish. Just… give me 10 seconds."

"Okay."

Kendall waited. He waited for the longest 10 seconds in his life. It felt like an hour or so… or maybe he was right. The 10 seconds he knew didn't take this long.

"Here." Shane pushed the drawing book to Kendall's lap.

Kendall's eyes widened as he saw on the drawing book. It's him. It's Kendall who slept on the bench, but fuck, was he that good looking? The Kendall on Shane's drawing book was fucking handsome.

"What do you think?" the brunet broke his took a deep breath, he had no idea what he was going to respond, "This is… good."

Shane raised his eyebrow, "That's it? I drew you, Kendall."

"I know," Kendall nodded quickly, "Shit, this is the good looking version of me."

Shane chuckled, the beautiful sound that ever touched Kendall's ears, "You and this," Shane pointed to his drawing, "Didn't have any differences."

Kendall smirked, "No fucking way."

"Yes fucking way," Shane nodded, "I draw what I see." The hazel eyes locked into a pair of green eyes, "This is you. This is what I see."

_Damn! _Who the fuck was this boy? How dare this boy to make Kendall Knight amazed in less than a day?

"I like your eyes," Shane moved his face closer, "It's really green… it's bright and beautiful." he smiled.

In this distance, Kendall couldn't do anything except breathe – or maybe not. The handsome face right in front of him, hazel eyes learning his face, a pair of pink lips parted to make a beautiful smile.

Fuck

"Thanks," Kendall finally found his tongue.

Shane nodded, "How's your therapy?" the brunet didn't bothered himself to move backward. He seemed didn't care to the awkwardness on Kendall's face.

"That's fine." Kendall breathed deeply.

"Good," Shane's point finger touched Kendall's jaws line, "You know what, I don't think you need more therapy. You're fine. You sleep well,"

Kendall stared at the hazel eyes back and forth, "How do you know?"

"I watched you sleep," Shane admitted, "You're fine, Kendall."

Kendall nodded, "I am."

Shane gave him another beautiful smile, "Good. Now, I have to go."

Kendall held his hand, reflect, "Why?" once he realized what he just did, he quickly released the other boy's hand.

"I'm tired," Shane closed his drawing book, "I need more sleep." He rolled the drawing book and tucked it to his jeans pocket, "See you tomorrow, Kendall."

Kendall frowned, "Tomorrow? Why it isn't tonight?"

It made the brunet chuckled, "I can't. See you tomorrow." He smiled before he walked toward the hall, leaving the blond who just stared at his back, eyes begging him to not leaving him alone.

* * *

_**What do you think? Please rate and review! mwah! **_


	3. Chapter 3

**5 YEARS LATER…**

Kendall stared at the window, his eyes were empty. It's just a blank stare. He sat on the corner of his tour bus, chin rested on his palm and his left hand held his backpack.

"Dude," Logan gave him a soft punch to wake him up from his daydream, "We're arrived."

Kendall turned his head to see his band mate, "Huh?"

"Geez… We're here. Hello, New York!" Logan rolled his eyes. He grabbed his own backpack and hung it on his back, "Come on! We gotta lunch."

New York.

Kendall took a deep breathe. He had no memories here, actually today was his first time being here but he had something with this city and that wasn't a good memory.

"I was born in New York, 3 months later, my Mom decided to move to Los Angeles."

He shook his head, trying to get rid those memories of Shane told him about his past. Shane. The only name that Kendall would never forget, it still pain so much every time he remember him.

"Kendall!" once again – or more – his name being called, remind him that Kendall had to get out from the bus.

The bus arrived at the Montage Resto &amp; Bar, the band decided to grab lunch first before check in to the hotel and get ready for tonight show. Heffron Drive would have their last 3 tours here in New York. Their biggest achievement so far for being in a band was a great tour.

Kendall didn't excited that much. He just followed Carlos' back to their table. The restaurant actually pretty good and decent, they must be pay expensive for today's lunch. Oh, Kendall just remembered yesterday they talked about this, kind of a pre-party for their achievement.

Ten of them – Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Dustin and their tour crews – talked about their next stop. But something caught on Kendall's eyes.

Shane.

He was standing on the doorway with an older man, both of them looking decent in their suit.

"Kendall?" Dustin called his name but Kendall ignored him. He was too busy to respond to his friend.

Shane walked toward his table with that man. God, Kendall swore that guy – that Shane - the most handsome guy he'd ever seen in his life. He must be dreaming or he only existed in his imagination, Kendall didn't care.

"Kendall!" once again his name being called but he still didn't care at all.

Shane ordered his food then the other guy did the same. They talked a bit then Shane got really busy with his iPad.

It couldn't be real. Shane was dead 5 years ago. He died because his cancer took him. Reincarnation was not exists. Hell no, Kendall didn't believe that shit.

"KENDALL!"

A slap landed on his shoulder, it made Kendall turned his head, "What?"

"Dude," Carlos frowned, "You're not listening to us!" he protested, his face seemed angry.

"Sorry," Kendall gave him a thin smile, "I… I'm tired. I don't feel good today."

Dustin learned Kendall's face, "You're sick?"

"I don't know," Kendall turned his head to check whether Shane was there or not, and yet, he was seen nowhere.

He must be really missed that brunet guy until he started to imagine him.

What a prick, Kendall Knight!

Logan squeezed his shoulder, "We could go straight to the hotel after this."

"No," Kendall shook his head, "I will but you guys just go…" he smiled.

The rest of the lunch didn't mean to Kendall that much, he didn't want to turned his head either. His head started spinning and banging again.

"You have to learn how to let people go, Kendall. Soon or later, I will leave you and you have to let me go."

Shane's voice whispered in his ears and it made Kendall wanted to throw everything in his stomach out.

"Dude," Carlos touched his shoulder, "You're alright?"

Kendall nodded, "Yeah. I'm fine, Carlos. I'm fine." He suggested himself. He closed his eyes and hoping he wouldn't hear Shane's voice anymore.

Shane, please, leave me alone.

Kendall woke up because the light from the curtain stabbed his eyes so bad. He forced his body to get up and got him a bottle of water. Their first show in New York last night went really great and he really enjoyed it.

He saw the clock which hanging on the wall. It's only 6 am and he knew for a fact that this was too early to wake up but he couldn't back to sleep. Once he wake up then it was.

Kendall walked to the bathroom – mostly dragged himself – and washed his face with cold water then brushed his teeth. He grabbed his varsity jacket and his running shoes, decided to get some morning run which was he never did before.

New York in the morning was really good. The fresh air, the clear and bright sky, the quietness, Kendall enjoyed all of them. Maybe he should do the morning run more often.

After 30 minutes or so ran from the hotel down on the street, he stopped at the park in front of the five stars hotel. He sat under the Eek tree, tried his best to catch as much as the oxygen he could.

Feeling enough of resting, he stood and got ready to run again until he accidentally crashed on someone and both of them falling on the ground.

"Damn!" he hissed when he felt the pain on his back.

A second later he realized there's another guy who fell on the ground. He quickly got his body up and saw to the other guy.

There he was.

Shane – the sexy version of Shane – grumbling and holding his hand, face looking angry.

"What's wrong with you?!"

And there it was, the proof that this guy wasn't Shane

"Sorry." Kendall extended his hand to help that guy, "I didn't see you coming."

The guy didn't take his hand. He stood by himself and took his iPod who fell pretty far from their spot.

"I'm so sorry." Kendall couldn't take his eyes from him.

But this guy looked like Shane so much. They both had the same perfectly shape and full eyebrow, perfect skinny nose, the most beautiful brunet hair, pink lips and the most important was their beautiful hazel eyes.

"Watch your steps!" that guy hissed and then he walked out until Kendall reflects grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Shane?" Kendall asked him.

That guy frowned, "Excuse me?"

Now they both had the same voice and the way they talked was really similar.

"It's me," Kendall smiled, "Kendall! Oh God!" he pulled the guy into his hug. He could smell the mixture of cologne and natural musk of this guy. Even his natural musk didn't change.

The guy pushed Kendall harshly, "I don't know you." he grumbled then walked towards the hotel.

Did Kendall just let him go? Fuck no. He couldn't. It's been 5 fucking years Kendall lived in Shane's shadows, lived in their memories. Now he had a chance to see him in person and missed it? That wasn't going to happen.

Kendall ran and grabbed the guy's hand, "Wait!"

"What are you doing?!" the guy got mad, "I don't know you!"

Kendall shook his head, "I'm Kendall Knight. We met at Los Angeles Children's Hospital."

The guy let his arm from Kendall's hand harshly, "Wrong person, Mr. Knight! Now, excuse me."

Kendall was about to open his mouth when a woman walked toward them and shocked his mind up.

"Mr. Diamond, there's a phone call for you."

The guy turned his head, "If you don't have anything to say, Mr. Knight, please let me go. Good morning and have a good day." He gave him a nod and then walked out, leaving Kendall alone with his pain.

Kendall had no idea how he made his way back to the hotel. When he got there, Logan was up and worked on his laptop, "Where have you been?" Logan asked without turning his head to Kendall.

"Uh… jogging," Kendall answered in unsure tone. It made Logan stopped working on his laptop.

"Okay, you're so fucking pale like you just saw a ghost. What happened?"

Kendall let out a deep sigh. He rested his head on the shoulder of the sofa, "I guess I just saw a ghost."

"Huh?"

Kendall turned his head to Logan, "Remember Shane, I told you like 5 years ago…"

"Yeah?" Logan seemed not sure.

"The guy that I met at the children hospital when I had my depression therapy," Kendall gave him another clue.

Logan nodded, "Yeah, I remembered. He was your boyfriend."

"Fuck yeah." Kendall smiled wryly, "I saw him 10 minutes ago."

Logan's eyes widened, "I thought he was dead."

"Yes," Kendall nodded, "That's why I told you I just saw a ghost."

Logan moved his body closer to Kendall, "I don't understand."

"Me too," Kendall frowned, "But Fuck, Logan, I miss him. He's really handsome by now… tall, a little bit tan…"

Logan chuckled, "You sound like a chick."

Kendall landed a soft punch on Logan's arm, "I hate you."

"Dude, the guy you just saw maybe just looked alike with your boy… with Shane."

"Maybe," Kendall nodded. He remembered that guy was called Mr. Diamond. Shane's last name was Adams.

Logan stood up and placed his laptop on the table, "Let's grab something to eat. I'm hungry!"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey guys! I hope all of you like this chapter. Please R&amp;R! **_

_**mwah 3**_

* * *

"Why we're here?" Carlos jumped out from the van. They just arrived at the Diamond Hotel, the most luxury hotel at Rochester, New York.

Logan rolled his eyes, felt annoyed by his friend's question, "Because we're going to meet Camille Roberts, an event organizer for Venice Music Festival. Remember?"

Dustin put his hand around Carlos' shoulders, "And… to get a luxury lunch with her. I've googled her and she's so beautiful."

Kendall chuckled listening to his friends. The foursome entered the hotel lobby and headed to the hotel restaurant on the first floor. Something distracted Kendall's mind. He met that guy at the park across this hotel and that guy was staying at this hotel.

"Kendall?" Logan called his name.

He turned his head to see his best friend, "Hm?"

"You blanked off, again." Logan looked annoyed by Kendall's act.

"Sorry," Kendall smiled, hoping his friend would forgive him, "I met him here."

Logan sighed, "Can you let him out? We're going to meet an important person here for a big event. This is probably our biggest chance to spread Heffron Drive."

Kendall nodded, he fully understood what was Logan told him, "Yes, Sir."

"Is that her?" Carlos asked to Logan. He was the only one who met Camille month ago when she offered them the project at Los Angeles.

Logan nodded. His cheeks blushed as he saw a young woman sat on the corner looking outside, "Yeah."

"Holy crap, she's gorgeous!" Carlos whispered, couldn't hide his excitement.

"And she's really smart." Logan added, "Come on!"

Four of them quickly walked toward Camille's table. Logan was the one who extend his hand first to hold her hand, "Camille."

She turned her head and smiled once she saw four of them, "Logan! Hi, guys! Please take a seat."

"Sorry for waiting, we're stuck at the traffic." Dustin extended his hand, "I'm Dustin Belt."

Camille shook his hand back, "Camille Roberts. It's okay. I just arrived."

"I'm Kendall Knight."

"You must be the vocalist," Camille shook Kendall's hand.

Kendall nodded, "Exactly."

"I'm Carlos Garcia."

After all introducing and chit-chat, the all ordered for lunch. Camille was far from what Kendall imagined. She actually really cool like she wasn't an EO for a big event and she's too young for that job.

"I love your songs!" Camille opened her handbag and showed them her phone, "Look! I downloaded all of your songs and that's amazing! The crowd will love Heffron Drive as much as I do!"

One point, she's a fan girl.

"What's your most favorite song?"

Kendall looked around. People who ate here mostly an important people – well, Kendall could say that based on what he saw. They all wore suit or good dress. Camille was one of them even though she wore a plain black tank top and jeans, but her handbag could tell that she's one of them.

"How many days you're here?"

"I'll back to LA this afternoon." Camille was here because she had a bunch of meetings with artist for Venice Music Festival.

She opened her agenda and gave them a paper, "So, the festival will be in a month from now. All the artists will get a condo because you guys will stay for a night there and…" while Camille explained about the festival, Kendall's eyes caught a feature that he's been thinking all day long.

He wore a suit – a dark brown suit without a tie and light blue shirt underneath. His brunet hair combed. Holy shit! How could someone be that fucking handsome?

He sat at the table with 4 others men, they all suited up. Was he a business man?

"This hotel must be pricy," Carlos commented.

Camille nodded, "Yeah. I won't stay here if it's not for a family meeting." She looked around, "Do you see the handsome guy right there? He's James Diamond. He's the CEO of Diamond Hotels Company."

"Yeah. I've read about him at Times Magazine and he's really owned the world. The sole heir of The Diamond Enterprises, fresh graduated from Harvard."

Everyone knew The Diamond Enterprise, the company that owned mostly hotels and apartments in America.

Carlos' eyes widened, "You mean… the brunet over there?"

"Yeah," Camille nodded. She raised her hand and waved at him. The brunet just nodded at her.

Kendall immediately turned his head to her, "You know him?"

"Yes," Camille nodded, "He's my cousin from my Mom's side."

"How old is he?" Kendall asked her.

Carlos punched him, "Look like someone has a crush…"

Camille chuckled, "23."

Kendall sighed. Why James and Shane were like a same person for him when they're not related at all?

"You have age restriction for your crush?" Logan raised his eyebrow.

Kendall shook his head, "No… uh… he's the guy." He whispered, "The guy that I met this morning, the guy that… looks like Shane. He's that guy."

Logan mouthed an 'O' and just shrugged.

Had a meeting when a distraction was also there was really hard for Kendall. He barely could hear Camille explained all about the festival. He forced himself to listen to her, tried his best to understand all of her words.

Carlos and Dustin were tried their best to eat all of the delicious food on the table. The generous Camille Roberts ordered too much food but it made both of them really happy. They loved food too much.

"Afternoon, Camille." The husky voice broke their meeting – barely could called it a meeting because all they did was chatting.

The all turned their head to see who owned the voice. Well maybe except Camille and Kendall. That husky voice has been ringing on Kendall's ears all day.

James just walked passing them, and gave Camille a soft nod and greeted her before he left, "Have a good day."

Camille nodded and waved him, "Thanks, James. Good day for you too!"

Then he just left without any words or look.

"That's how you and your cousin talk?" Carlos asked in amazed.

Camille chuckled, "That's really weird, huh?"

Kendall tried his best to not looking back even his blood pumping him to do so. Hell no, he couldn't.

"Diamond family is a really formal family especially when they are at work. James is working here. He's the CEO so… yeah. But he's really cool. If I wasn't his cousin, I would crazy over him like a fan."

James Diamond.

Kendall couldn't think more. This guy, whoever he was, made Kendall got distraction. He made Kendall's heart thumping. He made Kendall remembered about all of his Shane memories.

He made the pain back once again.

"You said… James Diamond is Shane's ghost?" Logan asked when they're at the bus. Carlos was busy with his game and Dustin decided to take a nap before their show tonight.

Kendall nodded, "Yes. He is the one I saw this morning."

"Wow," Logan shook his head, "Shane must be really handsome."

A thin smile appeared on Kendall's face, "He was."

"Man, I'm sorry. This must be really hard for you…" Logan's voice softened, "You have to admit that they both are different person."

Kendall nodded, "Certainly. I guess… I just shocked seeing that face again after 5 years when it usually only appears on my dreams."

Logan gave him a squeeze on shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"Thanks, Logge." Kendall stood up, "I'm going to take a nap on my cabin."

Logan nodded, "Cool."

Kendall walked to the cabin, the place where they all sleep during the tour trip. He comforted himself on the small space, which only big enough for skinny guy like him. He tucked his jeans pocket to get his phone.

_Safari_

_James Diamond_

_57.400.000 results in 0,32 seconds_

Crap! What the heck was he doing? _Did I just typed Barrack Obama instead of James Diamond? No. Why he had so much results in Google? _

Kendall chose the first article on the search result.

**James Diamond, CEO of Diamond Enterprise, will be next month TIMES feature.**

He closed the tab and chose another article. Kendall had no idea why he did this to himself but he needed it. He felt the need to know this guy more.

**Female Magazine's #ManCrushMonday: James Diamond.**

Okay, woman's magazine always interesting. He scrolled down to read more the article.

James Diamond, the handsome and attractive young man stopped by Female's office this morning to share with Female about his life.

_**In his earlier 20's, Diamond almost has everything in hands. He is a fresh graduate from Harvard Business School and awarded as the graduation of honor summa cum laude by the faculty. Amazing! He didn't stop there, as the sole heir of family business, he succeed build the new Diamond's hotels in Asia within 2 years as CEO.**_

_**This young man bites more! Diamond constantly runs the company through its rising and shining times. Arthur Diamond, the President of Diamond Enterprises, his Dad, proudly talked about him at the International Seminar in Japan, last month. Who wouldn't?**_

_**Done with his business life, he told Female about his hobby. He likes horseback riding, surfing and flying helicopter. FYI, don't be panic! He has a legal flying license. Once again, this guy looked more attractive for Female!**_

_**"Every time I have spare time, I'll go for horseback riding or go surfing. I try to live my normal younger life. I don't think about business all the time, I also think about having fun and spend my time with family."**_

_**How he got his flying license?**_

_**"I took 6 months of training for airplane &amp; helicopter training when I was 17 and less than a month, I got my legal license."**_

_**Does he have his own aircraft?**_

_**"Yes. I got my first helicopter when I was 18 and year later, I got my jet. Last month, I just bought a Eurocopter Mercedes Benz EC 145."**_

_**Wow. Who the lucky people you always take for flying company?**_

_**"None," he laughed. That's the most adorable laugh that Female ever seen, "Mostly I fly alone. My family often asked me to give them ride but we're a big family so we'll take bigger plane and I hate flying a big plane."**_

Kendall's eyes widened. This James Diamond must be everything. In no way he could related to Shane Adams. Shane had no idea who's his Dad, he told Kendall that his Mom was a single parent and raised him by herself. If so, why they're look alike too much? It's like Shane reincarnation as James Diamond.

_**He talked much about his company and his successful career. How about his love life? The CEO told Female that he is single.**_

_**"I'm a very picky person." He said.**_

_**What he's looking for an ideal life-mate?**_

Kendall's heart started to thump and jump as he scrolled more down to the article, this crap made him thought more about the elder guy.

_**"I like the person who really put an effort to something that they love. If they love… writing or painting, then they do something with their painting. I found it very attractive. Or, if they love music, then they make music and do something with it, those people will take my attention."**_

_**Any reasons why he's very picky?**_

**_"I want the person fully understand to my work. I mean, I'm very busy and traveling a lot for business meetings and other business matters. I don't look for someone who just waiting for me or my call after I traveled thousand miles away or so. I'm looking for someone who as busy as I do so they will understand what I've been through. I think it's really hard to keep in a relationship when you have a serious relationship to work."_**

**_So, he's not into a relationship?_**

**_"Maybe… I'm not dating anyone right now but I go on date. That's more comfortable for both of us. I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet because I might be didn't put my effort to this relationship."_**

**_Why he said so?_**

**_"Because, I'm extremely busy and it might be hurt them. I don't want to break a heart and I don't want to have my heart broken. So, that's why I'm very picky."_**

Kendall threw his phone away made it crashed the wall of the cabinet. He heard Logan's voice grumbling over the noise.

Fuck.

Kendall regretted his decision to open that article, not only a text but it completed with James' photos. He posed with his helicopters. He posed on his room. He posed with a suit and that's fucking adorable.

He closed his eyes and prayed he could forget the James Diamond.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey guys! I hope you like this chapter. **_

_**Please R&amp;R. **_

_**Have a great day! 3**_

* * *

Heffron Drive's tour was finally over. The band headed to the studio to store their stuffs. Once they arrived at the studio, Kendall threw himself to the couch, relaxing his tense muscles.

The band didn't take any offer for this month. They wanted to get ready for Venice Music Festival. It could be their turning point in music industry. They would perform with other indie artists and DJ, and they've worked their asses off to get the offer from VMF.

Camille called yesterday, she asked them to have lunch with her this weekend. Logan was the one who get really excited. It's obvious that both of them had something. Kendall had feeling this relationship wouldn't end as an only friend.

"See you this weekend!" Carlos already packed his things, "Bye!" the Latino waved at them and grabbed his things to his Jeep.

Dustin chuckled and waved him back, "He really missed his house."

Logan just nodded. He made himself comfortable on the couch, too tired to move his body.

"I'm going home too…" Kendall stood up, he grabbed his backpack, "So, Saturday at Macy's?"

Logan nodded, "Yeah. I'll call you guys if she makes a change."

"Hm… Seems like someone get pretty intense with her?" Dustin joked, "She's cool."

Logan blushed, "Yes she is."

Kendall threw a pack of candy to Logan, "Logie Bear got a shot!" he laughed, feeling happy for his best friend.

"Thanks," Logan smirked, "Drive safely, Kindle."

Kendall just nodded and raised a hand then dragged his suitcase and backpack to his car. It's been more than 2 months they didn't come home. He missed his Mom, but he wouldn't be home at the first place. He had something to do first.

Kendall put a bouquet of white roses on the grave. He smiled as he crouched, "Hi, Shane. It's been awhile." He whispered.

Shane Brandon Adams

September, 4th, 1992 – November, 2nd, 2009

Kendall took a deep breath. Every time he saw the date Shane was died, it tortured him even more. Shane died on Kendall's birthday. He remembered how happy he was when he drove from home to the hospital. He already bought a cheese cake completed with a '17' candle. He wanted to celebrate his birthday with Shane.

What he got when he arrived? Shane died at 2 am. Kendall cried badly in front of Shane's room. How could Shane die when he called Kendall on 12 am only to say 'happy birthday Kendall' then in 2 fucking hours later the brunet left him without words.

_ "Happy birthday, Kendall!" Shane's voice sounded really soft and calming. _

_ Kendall just woke up, "Thanks, Shane. What time is it?" _

_ "12 on the dot"_

_ "You're not sleep?" Kendall sighed, they just texting each other an hour ago to say have a good dream and the brunet already called him in the next hour? What a waste._

_ Shane chuckled, "Nope. I'm afraid I'll fall asleep and have no chance to be the first person to say this." _

Kendall shook his head, the flashback tortured him. Shane was right, he would never have a chance to be the first person who say happy birthday to Kendall if he fell asleep. He would never have.

_ "I hope you'll graduate soon so you could take me out from here. We can run away wherever you want." Shane chuckled, "Just kidding. I want you have better life, Kendall. You're amazing person." _

_ "I already have. I have you." _

_ "I probably leave you alone anytime soon and you have to let me go. Whenever it is, you have to get ready." _

_ Kendall frowned, "I don't wanna think about that now, Shane. Not on my birthday." _

_ "I know. Can I finish my birthday wishes for you?" _

_ "Go ahead." _

_ "Don't fall asleep you dickhead!" _

_ "I won't!" _

_ "Okay… where was I? Oh… I hope you and your band will be a big thing in music industry as long as you keep it good." _

_ Kendall listened to Shane's birthday wishes. Tears fell from his eyes, didn't believe Shane was the guy who could make him cry only with wishes._

_ "I love you." Kendall said after Shane finished his wishes, "I love you, Shane Adams." _

_ From here, Kendall could imagine Shane was smiling, "I love you, Kendall Knight. I love you always." _

That's the last thing Kendall heard from Shane.

Kendall touched the top of the grave as he touched Shane's head, "I made it, Shane. Heffron Drive was the next big thing now. I have better live. I always try my best to try to let you go but I guess I failed. I met someone like you, both of you have the same face, I swear."

He chuckled, "It surprised me. I thought you're the only one who has those beautiful hazel eyes but I was wrong."

Kendall wiped his tears, "How are you doing Shane Adams? I think heaven made you busier than ever, right?"

He stared at the silent grave, the gray rock that couldn't say anything. Kendall knew he just wasted his time for being here, talking to a grave. But he loved being here, he loved how he felt Shane was here too, staring at him, smiling and comforting him like he used to be.

Kendall just woke up and decided to grab something to eat. Today was the first morning he could smell fresh toast from the kitchen or sound of morning news on the TV.

"Good morning," he pulled the empty chair on the dining table.

His Mom was cooking something on the pan, "Morning. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Anything fast," Kendall grabbed the carton of milk from the center of table, "I'm so hungry."

His Mom rolled her eyes, "Not surprise you skipped dinner for sleep."

"I'm so tired, Mom. I'm sorry."

5 minutes later, his breakfast was ready. He enjoyed his meal, never felt this hungry before, "This toast is really good." He murmured.

Jennifer smiled, "What's your plan for today?"

"I'll stop by on the studio and meet Jo." Kendall answered after finished his meal. His Mom just nodded.

Jo Taylor is his best friend. She's a beauty blogger and also a model. They met on high school and every one at school shipped them as a couple. If only Kendall wasn't a gay, he probably would ask Jo to be his girlfriend.

"Can you stop by for grocery shopping?" his Mom took the cardigan on the chair, "I have meetings today, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Since his Dad died, his Mom was the one who ran the company. She got really busy so that's why she didn't have a problem when Kendall had tour.

"Sure," Kendall nodded, "I'll ask her to accompany me."

His Mom smiled, "Thank you." She placed a soft kiss on Kendall's forehead, "Please wash your hair. It smells like a shit."

Kendall laughed. He almost forgot that his Mom also cursed, "I'll sure do. Drive safely, Mom."

"Kendall!" Jo jumped into his hug, the usual thing she always does, "I miss you!" she screamed on his ears.

"I miss you too," Kendall hugged her so tight until her petite body raised an inch from the floor.

They were on their favorite restaurant, The Brew Palms, and it was pretty crowded. Some people looked at them, smiling as they thought Kendall and Jo as a couple.

"How's tour?"

Kendall told her everything about the craziness of Heffron Drive's tour. How they had to deal with traffic, rushed to the venue, lack of sleep, and all the tour-life stories. Jo seemed excited. She's the one who always supports Kendall and otherwise, Kendall would do the favor for her.

He also told her about James Diamond and his similarities with Shane Adams. She reacted as Kendall thought she would be. Jo held Kendall's hand, giving him a soft cares on the back of his hand, "It must be hard for you."

Kendall held her hand back, "It was, but… I promised him to try to let him go. Then again, James Diamond is nothing like Shane. He's a rich and smart guy."

Jo nodded, "I know who James Diamond is. I never know he looked like Shane. Crap, James is…. Everyone talked about him."

Kendall shrugged, "Not everyone."

She grinned, "Right, not everyone. So… how's Venice Music Festival?"

"The meeting with Camille, the EO, went greet. We'll meet her this weekend. You can come if you want."

Jo chuckled, "I'd love to but I don't understand about music meeting, Kendo."

"Right," Kendall smiled, "But I'm sure you two will get along. She reminds me of you."

"Aw…" Jo smiled, "You missed me a lot, do you?"

Kendall smirked, "I guess."

"Sorry, I can't. I have a date."

"No way!" Kendall's eyes widened, "Who's the lucky guy?"

Jo's eyes sparkled, "Shay Hanson. He's a youtuber. We met last month on youtubers meeting. He's really nice and I like him a lot."

"I'm so happy for you."

Jo smiled, "I know you do."

Their food came and the conversation still continued. It's been too long for the two best friends didn't share each other stories.

"You don't have anything to do after this, right?" Kendall asked as he opened his wallet to pay the bill.

Jo shook her head, "I'll go to Target, beauty blogger shopping, why?"

"Good," Kendall put his hand around her waist, "You have to accompany me for a grocery shopping. Mom asked me to do."

Jo laughed, "Oh God. This is too hilarious! Hey, can I record this as a vlog?"

"What?"

"Please," Jo begged him, "I'll accompany you for grocery shopping and you… accompany me for makeup shopping. How about that?"

Kendall rolled his eyes, "If you're not my best friend, I would leave you alone here."

"Unfortunately, I'm yours." Jo smiled widely. She opened her bag and took the digital camera.

"Hi guys. It's me Jo with one and only my rocker boyfriend, Kendall Knight from Heffron Drive." She pointed the camera to Kendall. He just smiled awkwardly and said a 'hi'.

"We're going to do a grocery shopping and… he will be my company for makeup shopping. It will be fun!"

Kendall opened the door for Jo, "Get in, Miss Taylor."

"What a gentleman, Knight."

Kendall smiled as he saw the happy face of his best friend. Jo still talking to camera and he couldn't take his eyes of her. He was feeling grateful for what he had. He couldn't ask for better best friend because he already had her.

Kendall just arrived at the Macy's. Camille was already there with Logan. Carlos and Dustin bailed because Dustin's brother got a car accident yesterday and Carlos was sick.

"Hi, Cam!" he gave her a quick hug.

Camille hugged him back, "Kendall! Good to see you again!"

"You look great," Kendall took a seat next to Logan.

"Thanks," she blushed, "I saw you on youTube."

Logan turned his head, "You uploaded a video?"

"No," Kendall frowned, "What video?"

A waiter interrupted their conversation by asking their order. After order food, Camille continued.

"Vlog. I don't know you and Jo Taylor are a couple."

Kendall chuckled, "Oh, that video. We're not dating." He answered.

"She is his best friend." Logan added, "Also my friend."

Kendall nodded, agreed with Logan's statement. Camille smiled, "I love watching her videos. She's really humble and gorgeous."

"Yeah," Kendall agreed, "I asked her to come today but apparently she has a date. I know you two will get along."

Logan chuckled, "You and Jo will be a good friend."

"Really?" Camille surprised.

"Yeah, you remind me a lot of her." Kendall smiled, "You both are cool people to hang out with."

Camille laughed, "Thank you. Oh!" She hurried open her bag, "I almost forget to give you this." She handed a white envelope to Logan, "Talent tags. I gave each of you one extra tag, in case you guys bring your family or friends."

"Thanks," Logan opened the envelope, "Mine will go to my sister, Presley."

"That's nice! How about you, Kendall?"

Kendall shrugged his shoulder, "I don't know. I don't have siblings and my Mom is really busy. Maybe I'll give it to Jo if she can."

"Cool," Camille smiled, "How's Carlos? Is he fine?"

"That kid ate a stale chicken the other day. He will be fine in few days." Logan answered, "Carlos loves food too much."

She laughed.

"He's really a funny person. I can say that I love hanging out with you guys. I always meet the artists before the event, to build the chemistry. So far, you guys are the best." She smiled.

Kendall smiled, "We love to hang out with you, Camille. You're the coolest EO we've ever met."

"Yeah, you're the best." Logan smiled.

Kendall felt really itchy to not helping his best friend and Camille let out their feelings. It's really obvious both of them get attract to each other.

"I feel there's something is going on here." He smiled, staring back and forth from Camille and Logan, "You two."

"What?" Logan frowned.

The conversation interrupted by Camille's phone ringing. She held it and stared at the phone blankly.

"Oh my God!" she gasped, "It's James."

"James who?" Logan asked.

Kendall knew the answer. He almost forgot about him.

"James Diamond!" she freaked out. She placed her point finger on the mouth signed them to not make any noises while she talked with him on the phone, "Hi, James."

Logan turned his head to Kendall and whispered, "Why are you said something like that?"

"Like what?" Kendall whispered back.

"You make me nervous!"

"I'm helping you. You should ask her go on date, she obviously has something on you!"

Logan shrugged, "You don't know. We don't know."

Kendall sighed, "So ask her." He turned his head back to Camille. The brunette still talking on the phone with James Diamond, she looked really intense.

"Yeah… I understand. No, I'm no longer at La Jolla. I'm in LA. You want to come over? What? Oh… I'm at Macy's with… my friends." Camille put her phone away from her mouth, "James will come, is that okay?"

Kendall could feel his heart stop beating.

"It's okay." Logan answered. Fucking Logan!

"Just come. Okay, see you soon." Camille let out a deep sigh after talked with James on the phone.

Logan learned her face, "Something's wrong?"

Camille shook her head, "Uh… nothing. It's a family business."

"Oh," Logan nodded, "He will come?"

Camille nodded, "Yeah, is that okay?"

Of course not!

Kendall nodded, "That's cool."

James apparently came a bit sooner. The brunet showed up with a black Corvette Stingray. He got off from the car, looked really good looking with a white Polo shirt and jeans. He took off his Ray-Ban aviator once he entered the restaurant. Camille waved at him as a sign for him. She stood up to hug her cousin.

Kendall swore he never look anyone this handsome before.

"James, this is Logan and Kendall." She introduced them.

Kendall swore once James looking at him, the brunet's lips parted as he shocked and his hazel eyes widened.

"Logan Mitchell," Logan extended his hand.

The brunet turned his head to Logan, "James Diamond."

Kendall took a deep breath before introducing himself, "I'm… I'm uh… Kendall Knight"

James nodded, "James Diamond, nice to meet you again."

What the fuck? He remembered?

Camille got a pair of good ears, "You two met before?"

James took a seat next to Camille which was right in front of Kendall, "Small accident. I'm sorry to interrupt your lunch." He turned his head to Camille, "This is so rude."

Logan pinched Kendall's hand under the table. Kendall turned his head to him in a 'what the fuck are you doing?' look and Logan just stared at him as he said 'how could he remembered you?' look.

"No, it's fun. We're talking about Venice Music Festival." Camille smiled, "How are you?"

James nodded as he understood, "I'm doing fine, been really busy lately. Oh, I left the envelope at the car. I'll go to get it." he stood and without saying anything he walked out.

Camille turned her head to Kendall, "Okay, explained."

"What?" Kendall acted like he didn't understand what she was talking about.

"I know my cousin pretty well, Kendall." Camille started, "He won't pay attention to a 'just small accident'."

Okay. It still didn't make any sense.

Kendall shrugged, "I met him at New York. I accidentally crashed over him when I jogged."

Camille still staring at him like she didn't satisfied with Kendall's answer.

"That's all." Kendall sighed, "I swear, there's nothing more of it."

Logan gave a soft nod and took his drink. He looked up and saw James walked toward them, "He's here." He whispered.

James sat back on his chair and gave Camille a big brown envelope, "Here it is."

Camille nodded, "I'll give it to Mom. So, how's Uncle Arthur doing?"

While the cousins talked, Kendall grabbed his phone on the table, get ready to go home. He couldn't sit on the same table with James.

"Uh… Cam, I think… I'm going home." Kendall felt bad to interrupt the conversation between them.

Camille frowned, "Oh… alright. Let's have another lunch or dinner sometimes, okay?" she stood and gave Kendall a warm hug, "You owe me a story." She whispered.

Kendall sighed, "I've told you everything."

Logan was standing behind them, "Thanks for the lunch," he hugged her.

"No, I thank you, Logan." She hugged him back.

Kendall turned his head to James who now staring at him like he was an alien or something. Those intense eyes contact made him nervous, "Nice to meet you, James."

James gave him a thin smile, "My pleasure, Kendall Knight."

Damn.

His name suddenly became a sexy word in James' mouth.

Camille and Logan stared at each other, he just shrugged. After all good byes, Kendall and Logan headed to the parking lot. Kendall had a feeling he wouldn't get better sleep tonight or maybe he wouldn't sleep at all.

Camille Roberts: you need to tell me what's going on between you and James

Kendall sighed. He just finished showering and this message was the first thing he saw when he checked his phone.

Kendall Knight: I've told you everything

Camille Roberts: I never saw him acted like that before

Kendall Knight: like what?

Camille Roberts: nervous in front of new people

His eyes widened, really?

Kendall Knight: he looked okay yesterday

Camille Roberts: he usually better than yesterday. How did you meet him again?

Kendall Knight: I crashed him at the park across his hotel. That's all.

Camille Roberts: you know I can't ask him, so I ask you

Kendall Knight: I swear. That's all happened

Camille Roberts: I know he's gay even thou he didn't say to anyone. He had crushed on you

Fuck.

Kendall Knight: no fucking way, Camille

Camille Roberts: and I know you're gay too and there's something between you two

Double fuck.

Kendall Knight: what are you? a fortune-teller?

Camille Roberts: I'm a psychologist student. Surprise!

Kendall Knight: make sense

Camille Roberts: okay this is getting more interesting!

Kendall Knight: I know you have crush on Logan and he's too

Camille Roberts: I know. He asked me to go on date tomorrow

Kendall chuckled. Logan really listened to him.

Kendall Knight: you both will make a great couple

Camille Roberts: Thanks. You and James too!

Kendall Knight: uh you get annoying

Camille Roberts: LOL I'm just kidding

Kendall threw himself on the bed. His mind ran through what Camille said on iMessage. James was nervous? James had crush on him?

He tried to remember every single chapter from the day they met but really, nothing happened. James was just got really angry to him, then why James remembered that day?


	6. Chapter 6

_**I hope you guys like this chapter! **_

_**Thanks for reading! Love you oodles and oodles! **_

Venice Music Festival was like a smaller version of Coachella. Kendall and the band just arrived at Venice, California, quickly hitting their condo. Jo and Presley were already planning to hit the pool.

Carlos' and Dustin's extra tags were given to Carlos' brother, Javi and his girlfriend and they would come tomorrow on the event. Dustin's brother failed because the accident.

"Presley, come on!" Jo already changed her yellow summer dress into a navy bikini. It made her skin stand out even more and matched with her blonde curly hair. She looked like a living Barbie.

"Wow," Dustin reflect let out an amazed word.

Kendall chuckled, "Wipe your droll, Duz."

Presley was beautiful too. She's only 15 but as tall as Jo and by her swimsuit, none would believe she's that young. Both of them ignored the boys who unpacked their band stuffs and just ran toward the pool across the condo.

Camille came, she looked really tired but still on her fire, "Hey, Guys!"

Logan stood up to hug his girlfriend. Yeah. They only need 3 weeks to get along then boom, now they're a couple.

"How's the condo?" she asked after placed a soft kiss on Logan's cheek.

Carlos grinned, "Da best! Thanks, Cam!"

"Anytime," Camille smiled, "I want to spend time with you guys but I need to check all artists so…"

"We understand," Kendall hugged her, "Did you meet Presley and Jo outside? They're swimming."

Camille shook her head, "No. I'll meet them on dinner, okay? Get some rest, Guys. Tomorrow is a big day!"

She walked out from condo, followed by Logan. Kendall decided to take shower first before he unpacked his things. Carlos and Logan grabbed some snacks while they're watching Game of Thrones.

Kendall walked out from Dr. Bennett's room with a bright smile. He felt so much better after spent 4 days here. His therapist also said that he could go home this weekend. He missed his home, his friends. He missed being in band, playing guitar and singing and also writing new music.

But he liked being here too. He liked all nurses mostly Rosa, and Dr. Bennett. How two of them comfort him like he was their family. Regard from people who working here, Kendall liked spending his time with Shane Adams, a 16 year old boy with cancer. Fuck, was life must be that hard?

He made his way to the park where Shane was already there waiting for him. The brunet drew something in his drawing book like usual, his infusion still stuck on his left wrist. The boy looked paler than yesterday.

"Hey," Kendall sat next to him.

Shane turned his head, gave the blond a big smile, "Hey. How's your therapy today?" that's the usual thing that Shane always questioned. As cliché as it heard, Kendall loved being asked by this gorgeous brunet.

"That's good. I do feel much better." Kendall rested his back on the tree, "I can go home this weekend." He bowed, staring at his lap.

Shane closed his drawing book, "Really?" his hazel eyes sparkled, a smile appeared on his pale face.

"Yeah," Kendall stared at the brunet, "I'm doing fine by now. Just 2 sessions of therapy and I'm good to go home."

Shane jumped onto Kendall's hug, "I'm so proud!" he caressed Kendall's head, "I told you, you're fine."

Kendall sighed, "Yeah, but I'm not that happy for a fact I'm going home soon."

"Why? I thought you hate being here." Shane frowned.

Kendall stood and extended his hand to Shane, signing him to take his hand, "Come on."

They both made their way to the roof. Shane just followed the blond before him even though he had no idea what's going on with Kendall.

"Part of me really hated being here, been away from your home, room, family and friends… that really suck!" Kendall stared intensely to the hazel eyes owner, "but… part of me love being here. It's because…"

Kendall stopped as he looking at Shane. The brunet watched him innocently, "Because of what?"

"You." and that's all being said.

Shane gasped, "Oh… Kendall…"

"That's weird, huh?" Kendall chuckled, "I just met you 4 days ago and bam! I like you more than I should."

Shane pulled the blond boy to his hug, "It's not weird at all. I like you too."

"You do?" Kendall buried his face between Shane's neck and collar bones.

Shane nodded, "Since the first day we met. That's why I brought you here." He released their hug, "I never bring other people here."

Kendall's eyes widened. He was really surprise not only by what Shane just said to him but also with the way the brunet said it. His intense eyes staring at him, his pink lips parting to make a beautiful smile, it was like he really meant it.

"I like you, Kendall Knight." Shane touched his face, "A lot." then the brunet brought their lips together. He kissed Kendall softly and gently. It wasn't like how Kendall ever experience before. With Shane, everything was different.

Kendall felt he was no longer at the hospital roof. He felt something brought him to a Heaven. Maybe Shane was Heaven itself.

Kendall sat next to Jo in the big dining table for VMF talents gala dinner. He heard the owner of this place would give a bite as an opening.

"That's him!" Jo squeaked besides him, her hand grabbing Kendall's hand under the table.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Who?" he turned to see who was Jo meant.

Camille stood next to the Adonis, the Greek God who wore a pair of black jeans and white shirt. He smiled and greeted everyone on the ballroom, "Good evening. I'm James Diamond. I'd like to greet everyone here, the talented musicians who will play for Venice Music Festival tomorrow. Welcome to Diamond's Condo and Apartments."

What. The. Fuck.

Why Kendall never realized the condo he stayed was belongs to that fucking Adonis? Why he missed the most important part?

"God! He's really handsome!" Jo was being fan girl beside him and that's really annoying.

Like it didn't enough, Presley was also did the same. She squealed like a child getting a balloon. Logan couldn't stop laughing next to him.

"Kendall," Jo frowned, "I'm so sorry." She just remembered about Kendall and James Diamond over there.

He shrugged, "I'm fine."

James finished his greeting then walked down from the platform. Everyone cheered and clapped their hands for him. The girls just being how fans supposed to be, well maybe some guys too.

Camille joined their table, comforting herself next to Logan. Behind her was James, standing gently.

"Please take a seat, James." Camille pointed to an empty chair. James gave a soft nod then took a seat between her and Kendall.

Kendall could feel his back tensed.

"Kendall Knight," James nodded to him, gave him a smile.

The blond nodded back, "Mr. Diamond."

"It's James," he said. He looked to the other way, "Camille told me four of you are Heffron Drive."

Logan nodded. He started the conversation with the Greek God to break the awkwardness. Thanks to him and his smart brain, he could get along with this smart Adonis.

Carlos and Dustin joined the conversation too.

It surprised Kendall how James Diamond could fully understand about music industry.

"Indie bands can spread way better than commercial bands. I think it will be really competitive for both bands." James commented.

During the dinner, Kendall didn't talk much. He just gave a small comment when he felt needed to get along in conversation.

Kendall stared at the desert he got. He didn't have mood to eat it by the way. All of his friends were busy in the interesting conversation that Kendall didn't even know. Then he didn't even know how the dinner finished already.

It's all James fault.

That fucking moron distracted Kendall worse than Kendall thought.

"Come on," Jo put his hand around Kendall's waist, "Let's go the beach!"

Kendall just nodded. He looked around to find Camille to say thank you but instead he found a pair of hazel eyes locked onto him. James' jaws clenched.

He had no idea what that look meant.

Was he mad? But Kendall didn't do anything wrong.

Was he… jealous?

Jo put her hands around Kendall's waist, she also leaned her head on Kendall's chest and that wasn't a big deal for him but it was for other people who didn't know Kendall was gay and Jo was his best friend.

Maybe it was a big deal for James too?

Kendall gave him a thin smile and soft nod signed him that they would leave. James just nodded then walked out.

"Ken, what's wrong?" Jo raised her head to see Kendall. He shook his head, rested his chin on Jo's head.

"I saw something weird but it's not a big deal." He whispered.

Jo frowned, the blonde didn't believe him, "Really?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "Let's go."

The crowd was insane. Kendall was standing at the stage, in front of twenty thousand people and that's fucking awesome.

He held the microphone's stand, turned his head to his band mates then greeted the audience. The crowd seemed like them.

"The first song called Parallel!" Kendall announced.

Kendall stared at the audience, seeing girls and guys singing along with him and it felt really good. He was proud to himself, to his band.

"Parallel, in this universe… do we light up 'em up, just to watch them burn?"

He sang and got into the music and the cheered. Kendall could see the crowd enjoyed their performance. Song by song, Kendall finally had to ended Heffron Drive's performance.

"This is the last song. We're really grateful have a chance here. We love you guys so much!" Kendall stared to the crowd which now cheered them.

"Sing with us, Venice! This song is called feels so good!"

Kendall owned the stage. He walked back and forth, touching and smiling to the girls who standing on the front line. He could see Jo and Presley there, enjoyed the moment they had.

"I had a good dream last night," Shane smiled at him, his hand made a random pattern on Kendall's chest.

Kendall moved his body facing the brunet, "Mind to tell me?"

"I dream about you. It's really a good dream. Well I actually think that wasn't a dream. It was… how I picture your future."

Kendall chuckled, "Okay, stop bubbling and tell me."

"You singing on the stage with your band in front of thousands or more people, you are the star. The audience loves you so much. The girls screaming your name, hand extend to touch your hand as they want you holding them back. You are the star. You are the one they all wanted to see." Shane staring at the clear Los Angeles sky, "I'm standing on the crowd, watching you proudly, screaming your name as mine."

Kendall could feel his heart stop beating, "Wow. That's… really a good dream."

"Yeah," Shane nodded in agreement, "I have a feeling it will come true someday and I'll be standing in the crowd. I'll give you a big smile, I must be proud of you."

Fuck.

The flashback made Kendall's head banging. He tried his best to not fainting or worse, collapsing. The pair of green eyes started to search the brunet guy in the crowd. Yet he wasn't there. He wouldn't be there.

It felt so bad.

It's painful.

Kendall would do anything to make Shane standing in the crowd and gave him a big smile.

Kendall sat on the seaside, enjoying the sound of the waves and night beach wind. His hand held a bottle of beer – he had no idea how many bottles he had. He loved how quiet it was. He could feel his heart still in pain because the random flashback, head still banging for no reason.

Hell.

He missed that guy. They maybe only 2 weeks together, but those weeks are the best time Kendall ever had. He never thought someone had ability to make him in this rate of depression. No, not depression, it's way better to called it falling in love. Kendall had to let Shane go before he realized he loved him so much.

It's been 5 years and Kendall didn't think he'd move on yet.

"Nice performance," a husky voice broke the quietness.

Kendall turned his head for nothing. He knew who's the owner of that sexy voice but yet he still turning his head to see him.

James joined him. He sat next to him, "Good job."

"Thanks," Kendall took a shoot of his beer, "I don't know you're there."

James inhaled, "I owned this place, Kendall Knight. I have every right to watch the show."

What a cocky bastard.

"Yeah," Kendall commented in a lazy tone.

James turned his head to see Kendall, "I was wondering… why you ran after me that morning?"

Kendall frowned, "Why do you care?"

"You…" James stopped, thinking better words, "You seemed… do we meet before New York?"

Kendall shook his head. He bowed watching his beer blankly, "Nope."

"You introduced yourself to me as you wanted me to remember you. That's weird." James took a deep breath, "It scared me."

Kendall chuckled, "The James Diamond scared because of random guy?"

"Yeah," James nodded shyly, "Not because you're a random guy at that moment…"

Kendall heard there's something weird on his answered, "Then what?"

"Nothing," James shook his head. He grabbed the beer from Kendall's hand and drank it until half.

Kendall could feel the other guy had problem, "Bad day?"

"Uh huh," James just nodded. He gave the bottle back then rested his back on the palm tree.

Kendall stared to the brunet. So, this was how Shane looked like if he had a chance to grow up?

He had scruff, skin tanner, well building body, sexy pink lips…

Fuck.

Why he did this to himself?

"You don't answer my question," James stated, "Why you ran after me?" he stared to Kendall as he craved for the answer.

Kendall gave him a thin smile, "Do you really need to know the answer?"

"Probably," James looked not sure, "I just curious."

Kendall let out a deep sigh, "You look like someone I know."

The brunet still staring at him, wasn't satisfied with his answer, James craved for more.

"Someone in the past… I thought you are him, so…" Kendall took another shot of his beer.

James nodded, "Oh. I see. Do I… and that person really look alike?"

Kendall had no idea why James Diamond, the CEO of the biggest company in America, curious about the shit of him?

"Yes," Kendall nodded. He moved closer to James and the other boy didn't hesitate to move his body, "It's like I see him."

James staring at him back, "I guess he meant a lot to you."

"Yes. He was."

"Where is he?"

"Here," Kendall touched his heart, "Here." He touched his head, then he touched James' face, "Maybe here…"

James smirked, "You're drunk."

Was he?

Kendall shrugged, "Maybe,"

James stood, "Nice to talk to you, Kendall Knight." He was about to go when Kendall grabbed his hand.

"Don't go," he begged, "I like talking with you." Kendall stared to the other boy, "Please, just put your ass here and talk to me."

James sighed, "I prefer when you're sober."

"You won't talk to me," Kendall shook his head, "You will ignore me when I sober."

James frowned, "Why?"

"I don't know," Kendall shrugged, "You tell me."

James sat back next to him, "I have no idea what are you talking about."

Kendall laughed, "This is funny how you and him are really look alike. Even the way you talk too."

James stared at the boozy Kendall, "Am I?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "You and him are the same person. Fuck, it hurts me. You hurt me."

James rolled his eyes, "I'm leaving."

"Everybody always leave me! First, it was my Dad and then Shane and now… you!" Kendall yelled.

James smiled, "What do you want me to do?"

"Sit here and talk to me like you used to be," Kendall pulled James into his hug, "Because I miss you so much."

James released their hug, "Wrong person, Kendall."

"I don't care!" Kendall grumbled. His hand moved to touch James' head, locked onto his soft hair, "You or him, both of you are so beautiful."

Kendall brought his lips to James' lips, pressed their lips together in a frenzy moving way. He put his hands around James' waist to pull him closer.

James glared at Kendall with eyes bugged out, "Fuck, Kendall!" he pushed the other guy further.

"What?"

James touched his lips, "Did you just… oh God!" he stood up and then walked out leaving Kendall who now fainted on the ground.


	7. Chapter 7

**_New Chapter is here! I hope all of you enjoy it!_**

_**Thanks for reading! I love you guys oodles and oodles!**_

* * *

The first thing Kendall saw in the morning was Jo's worry face. She frowned, "Kendall, you scared me!" she landed a punch on Kendall's chest.

Kendall woke up, "Hm?"

"You've been sleeping for like… 12 hours or so." Jo pouted, "Sleepy head!'

He looked around. It's their condo. Carlos and Dustin were packing, Presley helped them.

"Where's Logan?"

Jo combed her hair with fingers, "He went to Camille's to get your payment and stuffs."

Kendall nodded. He gave his head a massage, "How did I get here?"

"You slept in the porch last night. If Dustin didn't come home late last night after the party, you wouldn't be found." Jo threw a towel to Kendall, "Go shower! You smell like a shit."

Kendall nodded. He took the towel and made his way to the bathroom.

How did he get to the condo?

Was he on the seaside?

Camille insisted they need to stay at least for lunch. The guys loved it as much as Jo and Presley loved it too. So here they were, sat around a big table in the restaurant.

Jo, Camille and Presley were talking about beauty stuff. Jo had an idea she would invited both of them for another video.

"Kendall," Camille turned her head to him, "Do you mind if we talk… alone?"

He frowned, confuse because Camille could talk everything in front of his band, "Yeah?"

She grabbed his hand then pulled him to the other side of restaurant, "Okay, now, what did you do to James?"

"What?"

Camille grumbled, "He suddenly wanted to go home last night."

Kendall sighed, "Why you blamed me for his sudden action? Maybe your cousin bored being here or…"

Something just hit his head.

James.

He remembered the brunet came last night and he asked about New York then…

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Kendall kissed him.

Camille put her hands crossed in front of her chest, "or what? I saw you both talking on the seaside."

Kendall denied, "I don't know. Just ask him."

Camille shook her head, "What you guys talked about?"

"He gave me a compliment for my good job, that's all." Kendall gulped, felt intimidating by Camille's stare, "I didn't do anything wrong I guess."

"So you're drunk."

Kendall nodded, "Fuck, yeah…"

Camille sighed, "He wasn't and…" she stared to Kendall, "Oh God, did you… kiss him?"

"What?" Kendall glared, "Fuck, no way!"

Camille laughed, "Crap, Kendall… you did! Oh God… you stole his first kiss!"

Kendall wanted something so big and strong pulled him to the ground or hell or whatever.

"You need to apologize to him, Kendall." Camille tried her best to stop laughing, "I'll give you his number."

Kendall stared at his phone blankly. He wasn't sure whether he had to call James to apologize or not, but Camille told so.

Because it's the brunet's first kiss.

Really?

James has the face and body and he's fucking rich young man but he never kiss someone before?

Ck.

Why Kendall not surprise?

"So, you're Shane and James' first kiss?" he remembered what Jo said when he told her about that night.

Fuck.

"Kendall," his Mom showed up on the doorway, "I called you for like 5 times. What's wrong?"

He quickly stood up and walked toward his Mom, "Nothing. I just have something on my mind."

His Mom nodded, "Okay. Dinner is ready, come on." She put her hand around Kendall's waist.

It's only two of them in the house and Kendall often felt bad for a fact his Mom had to dining out or have dinner alone.

"How's Venice?"

Kendall told her about the show. How the crowd was insane, how they loved Heffron Drive and how Camille treated every artist well.

"That's good. Maybe after this, Heffron Drive will get more chances." His Mom said wisely.

Kendall gave her a nod and grabbed her hand, kissed it on the back, "Thanks Mom."

"You don't have anything to do tomorrow, right?" his Mom asked as she filled orange juice to her glass.

Kendall shook his head, "Nope."

"I have a big meeting tomorrow and I'm so tired to drive alone. Can you drive for me?"

"As your wish, Ma'am," Kendall smiled, "Just wake me up an hour before."

"Sure." His Mom nodded, "Now, if you don't mind young man, please do the dishes. I need to get ready for tomorrow."

Kendall chuckled, "Aye,"

His Mom stood from the chair and kissed him on the forehead, "I love you,"

"Love you too, Mom. Sleep well."

Kendall was waiting for his Mom on the car. He wore his nicest shirt – mostly on his wardrobe was metal shirt, tank top and some of inappropriate clothes for attending a meeting. Even he probably just sat on the other table but still, he couldn't smack his Mom on the face with his style.

"Come on, we're almost late!" his Mom got in the car and threw her bag on the back seat.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "I'm not the one who late."

"Shut up," his Mom hissed, she put her lipstick on, "I can't be late because this meeting is really important for us."

"Where we will go?"

They hit the main road and Kendall still had no idea where he supposed to drive.

"To his office, of course." his Mom answered in grumpy tone like she already said it billion times.

Kendall sighed, "You haven't told me who you gonna meet and where the meeting is…"

"Oh really?" his Mom grinned, "Diamond's Enterprise on the fifth."

Kendall could feel his muscles tensed, "What? Why we're going there?"

His Mom sighed, "Because I have meeting with James Diamond, hello…"

Super. Double. Fuck.

There they were. The twenty two stories building with a grey and white tone. He turned around his car to find a decent place for parking. His Mom checked her look on the small mirror, make sure she looks great.

"Come on!" She asked Kendall to get out.

Kendall shook his head, "Uh… can I just… waiting here?"

"No," she frowned, "I hate leaving my son on the car like he's my driver. Come on, you can sit on the lobby if you don't want to join the meeting." She insisted.

Kendall mouthed a fuck before got out from the car, "Okay."

The Mom and son headed to the lobby of the luxury building. Kendall had no idea why his Mom as the CEO of their company – a company which focused on steel – would make a deal with Diamond's company.

"This is a big deal for us, Kendall. Diamond will builds other hotels and apartments in Asia and… they will need steel." his Mom answered the snide question.

Kendall nodded, "Okay."

He never felt this nervous before. The both entered another luxury room in the top of the building.

"Please have seat, Mr. and Mrs. Knight," the blonde secretary smiled to them, "Mr. Diamond will be here in 10 minutes. Do you want any refreshment?"

"Just water, please." His Mom answered.

The blonde nodded, "How about you, Sir?"

"I'm good." Kendall answered.

She nodded then walked out. He looked around, even the waiting room as big as hell. What did Diamond do in the past to make their family this rich?

"Kendall," his Mom whispered, "What's wrong with you? Stop biting your nails!"

He didn't realize that. Biting his nails was the sign that he was really nervous. Why he wouldn't? He was going to meet the person who looked alike Shane, the person he just kissed the other day.

Damn.

That wasn't good.

"Mrs. Knight," a husky yet sexy voice came from behind.

His Mom turned, "Mr. Diamond,"

"Please call me, James." he extended his hand to shake Kendall's Mom's hand, "Sorry for the wait."

This cocky bastard was really polite.

Kendall didn't sure was he really need to turn his back or not. Soon or later, he would. Slowly, he turned and saw a pair of hazel eyes locked into him. There's a bunch of emotions there, anger, shock, and… happy?

"This is my son," his Mom introducing him, "Kendall Knight."

James smiled wryly, "Of course, Mr. Knight." He gave him a soft nod, "If you don't mind, Mrs. Knight, we can talk in my office."

"Sure."

Kendall couldn't take his eyes of him. What was that? Did James just… dumping him?


	8. Chapter 8

_**re-upload. sorry, i didn't realize last night update turned out so weird. **_

_**hope you enjoy it! thanks for reading guys! **_

_**don't forget to R&amp;R and also check out my new **_**_fic "A SKY FULL OF STARS" _**

**_LOVE YOU GUYS OODLES AND OODLES!_**

* * *

It was the longest 2 hours of Kendall Knight's life. He's been sitting on the sofa, walking back and forth on the lobby, playing game on his phone, listening to music, all he did to kill the time.

"I'll call you back as soon as possible," James' voice broke his daydream.

His Mom showed from the CEO room, "Of course. I'm looking forward to meet your Dad. Please tell him I say hello."

"Of course," James nodded softly. He turned his head to Kendall, "Kendall Knight." He gave him a nod.

Kendall sighed. He'd been thought about this the whole time he waited for his Mom. Now or never, "James… We need to talk."

His Mom's eyes widened, "Kendall!"

James smiled, "It's fine, Mrs. Knight. Actually, we've met before."

"Oh," his Mom's felt relief, "I thought he acted really rude. Alright, I'll be in the car." His Mom touched Kendall's shoulder and he just gave her a nod.

James stared to Kendall like he wanted to kill him immediately, "How about on my office?"

Kendall nodded. He couldn't talk about that here, in the middle of waiting room where his secretary and other employees walking back and forth. This wasn't a talk that Kendall wanted everyone knows.

James' office was more than luxury. It's majestic.

Kendall could live here forever.

He turned his head to see James who sat back in his table. Kendall didn't realize how handsome this guy today. He wore a white shirt underneath the navy suit complete with a tie in a match color.

Kendall felt like he's really just a random guy even in his nicest shirt.

"I… don't know you and my Mom will have a meeting today." He started.

James just nodded and let out a soft uh huh. He made himself busy with his laptop. Kendall knew this brunet probably didn't want to talk to him but hell, Kendall wasn't a jerk face.

"James,"

The elder guy raised his head, "Yes, Kendall Knight."

"Do you know who am I before? I mean… do you know… my Mom…" Kendall stuttered. He's freaking nervous.

James shook his head, "No, I don't."

"Okay," Kendall nodded.

"Are you finished?" James asked in a cold tone, "I'm extremely busy right now, if you don't have…"

Kendall cut him off with a sudden movement, he stood up with hands on the table, "I want to say sorry."

James just stared at him without saying anything.

"I was drunk and… I probably do something that you don't want to." Kendall could feel his face starting to burn.

James raised an eyebrow, "Such as?"

Kendall grumbled, "Damn, I kissed you, huh?"

"Yes." James sighed, "That wasn't I expecting."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Can you stop being sarcastic? I'm here trying my best to apologize but you…"

"But I like it." James cut him off. He woke from his chair and walked toward Kendall who now was freezing.

James turned Kendall's body to face him, "Yes, I was shocked but… I'm not mad. I'm just surprise."

Okay, now Kendall had no idea what this guy talking about.

James smiled, a real beautiful smile, "Shame, you did it because you're drunk."

What the fuck?

"What?" Kendall asked – almost yelled.

James chuckled, "This is embarrassing you know, for me, as a successful young man, admitted he was gay and like a random dude like you."

Kendall had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"I have no idea why I like you… but…" James moved his face closer, "I guess now I know."

Kendall couldn't take it anymore, "What the fuck is going on here?"

"I can't stop thinking about you, Kendall!" James answered in a gentle voice like he answered a random question on the interview, "I know you like me too, whether because I look alike with your past or…"

Kendall frowned, "How did you know?"

"You told me," James sighed, "You don't remember because you're so fucking drunk."

Oh. News flash, James Diamond cursed.

Kendall nodded, "Okay but it wasn't like… this is confusing. I come here to ask your forgiveness but I get your confession. Wow."

James laughed.

"That's weird huh? I barely know you but here am I… admitting that I like you." James stared at Kendall's green eyes.

Kendall felt déjà vu.

"That's weird, huh? I just met you 4 days ago and bam! I like you more than I should."

He remembered what he said to Shane and now he heard it from James.

"That's not weird," Kendall stepped closer, "I know how it feels."

James smiled, "Really?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "So, I guess, you forgive me?"

"Maybe,"

Kendall smiled, "Thanks,"

None of them felt needed to say anything. They just stared at each other eyes, learning their faces.

"Did you, the person who brought me from the seaside to my condo?" Kendall asked.

James nodded, "I left when you kissed me but I came back to check you. I worried you might be eat sand or something since you're drunk."

Kendall murmured, "I wouldn't."

James chuckled, "So I brought you back to your condo… actually I left you on the porch. Are you okay…"

Kendall had no idea where he got the power or willing, but he brought their body together. He kissed James lips in another frenzied kiss. James parted his lips to give Kendall entranced.

Kendall felt happiness. He didn't care about everything else except the moment they just made. He just cared about the brunet, about what the other guy thought about him. He just cared about what's coming next.

James broke the kiss, he opened his eyes, "You need to leave." He whispered.

Kendall sighed, "I know," he didn't bother himself to open his eyes, buried his face on James' neck, place a soft kiss there, "I need to leave."

"Yes," James nodded, he stepped back to see Kendall clearer, "Although I don't want you to leave, but… this need to be ended."

Kendall smiled, "Yeah. I understand."

James grabbed his hand before Kendall stepped out, "Can I ask you for dinner sometimes?"

That's a date.

Kendall nodded, "Whenever you're ready and not busy." He pointed to James' laptop, "I think we can make it."

James smirked, "Alright. Now," he opened the door, "Get your ass out of here. You're a distraction."

Kendall laughed, "Thanks, Mr. Diamond."

He didn't understand what was really happened between them but he liked it. He didn't care what would happen next, all Kendall cared was only he liked the brunet as much as he liked Shane.

Jo almost dropped her jaws, "I don't believe it," she finally broke the silence.

Once Kendall drove his Mom back to their house, he went to Jo's apartment. He really needed to talk to someone. He knew he couldn't talk to his band mates, well maybe he could talk to Logan, but right now, all he needed was a person who could use both brain and heart at the same time.

"Me too," Kendall rested his head on the couch, "I don't believe I just kissed James Diamond and he admitted he likes me."

Jo shivered, "Yeah, but… crap, it all happened! Oh God…" she closed her mouth, "I don't believe James Diamond is a gay."

"Yeah, he's totally a straight guy you know… incredibly fucking handsome." Kendall sighed, "Fuck,"

Jo laughed, "Oh my God! What's he like? Did he a good kisser?"

Kendall couldn't hide his smile, "Yeah… for someone who never had a kiss before, he… he's really good."

"Aw…" Jo blushed, "You're officially his first kiss. That's sexy."

Kendall smiled, "He smells so good too…"

Jo couldn't stop smiling, "He's like a living Christian Grey you know…"

"Who's Christian Grey?" Kendall frowned. He never heard that name before in any news anywhere.

"A sexy character, you wouldn't know." Jo murmured, "So, you'll call him tonight?"

Kendall shook his head, "Why?"

Jo's eyes widened, "Uh… because both of you had a kiss and… don't you think you need bring this relationship more serious? It wasn't a one night stand, Kendall."

Right, she was fucking right.

"Maybe," Kendall shrugged, "I'll figure it out later."

Jo pinched his arm, "He said he wanted to ask you for dinner! It meant he wanted this relationship – whatever it is – going somewhere, huh?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded. He didn't know either. He didn't understand why this happened so fast to him even before he could think about this possibility.

Jo sighed, "Camille and Presley will be here in 20 minutes. You want to stay?"

"Why they're here?" Kendall took a cupcake from the table, "You made this?"

Jo nodded, "Yes. New recipe, what do you think?"

"It tastes heavenly," Kendall took another bite, "So, why they're coming?"

"We're going to make a video called blind makeup challenge," Jo answered his question, "You won't understand."

Kendall chuckled, "Alright. I'm leaving," he woke from the couch and hug her tight, "See you this weekend?"

Jo nodded, "Saturday it is." She kissed his cheek, "Did you change your cologne?" she frowned.

Kendall shook his head, "Never, why?"

She stepped closer to sniff him, "You smell different… oh!" suddenly she laughed, "It must be James'."

"What?"

Jo laughed louder, "Oh God!" she sniffed more, "So this is how James Diamond smelled like… He's perfect."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "I'm leaving."

"You smelled like him, Kendall!" Jo shouted and Kendall just waved at her without turned his head.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Logan yelled on the phone. Kendall had to put his phone away before his friend's voice broke his ear.

Kendall sighed, "I wish I could say so."

"So that's true? Whoa… James Diamond? You're fucking nuts!"

Kendall rested his body on his comfortable bed, "I am… Logan, I call you because I need advice okay not you for insulting me."

Logan laughed, "Sorry. This is too fucking hilarious. I mean… James Diamond. Wow."

"Yeah, okay, I'll call you later then…"

"Dude, this is insane. You realized that?"

"More than anything… so, how am I supposed to do?" Kendall gave a massage on his head. The more he thought about this the more painful his head was.

"Uh… I think it will be fine if you call him, take him to dinner and stuffs. I mean, he's only 2 years older than you. He is a normal guy who knows how to have fun, right?"

Kendall nodded, "Yeah but… he is James Diamond."

"And you are Kendall Knight. Who the fuck cares? He admitted he likes you and you two kissed on his office. Just enjoyed…"

"It's not that simple…"

"Well, it is. You like him too, right?"

Kendall sighed, "I'm afraid I like him because he looks like Shane a lot."

"No. Listen, it's been 5 years and you had move on. This is James not Shane, and you like him."

"I guess…"

"Don't think too much. You need to learn how to enjoy the moment you have now. Let the past in the past."

Logan had a point. He always has.

"Right," Kendall woke to sit on his bed, "Thanks, Logge."

"Anytime, Man. You know… Camille was right."

His fucking girlfriend, "What she said?"

"She said, soon or later, Kendall and James will be together. You know, what funny is, she said it yesterday."

Kendall murmured, "Uh huh… it's too soon, huh?"

"Zero, now I think you better call him and you know… make a move?"

Damn.

Kendall never thought he would do this kind of thing.

"Okay."

"Did Camille know about this?"

Kendall shook his head, "No. Uh… don't say the words, I'll tell her."

"Sure. Good luck, Buddy!"

Kendall dropped his phone on his side. He stared blankly on the ceiling, thinking about how he called James, what he should said first. Was it Hi or What's up…

His phone ringing, he grabbed it and answered the phone without checked who's calling first.

"Hello…" he answered lazily.

"Hi, Kendall Knight,"

Kendall was immediately in a sit position once he heard that voice, "James?"

"Yes, it's me. James Diamond,"

Holy fucking shit.

"Oh… yeah… Hi."

"Do I call you in the wrong time?"

"No," Kendall shook his head, "I just… shocked you know…"

"Sorry. I should have to tell you earlier I will call."

Kendall never treated like this before. James was so polite even when they had a kiss 6 hours ago.

"It's okay… How did you get my number?"

"Uh… I… I asked my assistant to find your number on Venice Music Festival's document. Is that wrong?"

Fuck.

"Kendall, are you mad at me?"

"No," Kendall shook his head. He didn't know how he supposed to answer. James did something to get his number.

"Where are you?"

"I'm home."

"Where is your home?"

Kendall sat on the edge of his bed, "Uh… Hummingbird Hills,"

"Oh… you stay there. It's one of my housing complexes."

Did he need to say it right now?

"Right, for your information, we already pay the house. I don't owe you anything," Kendall chuckled.

Far away there, James laughed, "Thank you, Mr. Knight."

Kendall smiled, "I like the way you called me that way."

"Mr. Knight?"

"Yeah,"

"I won't call you that forever. That will be odd."

Kendall mumbled, "I know. Where are you? You sound so quite."

"I'm on my room,"

He turned to see the clock hanging on the wall. It's almost 1 am, "Did you just got home?"

"Yes, is it obvious in my voice?"

Kendall chuckled, "No, just a guess."

"Do that again for me."

"What?"

"Your chuckle, I like that."

Kendall smirked, "You know, we sound like chicks right now."

"You think so?" James laughed.

"Yeah," Kendall smiled, "I don't know CEO finished his work this late."

"I hate putting off my job,"

Kendall could imagine how James talking to him right now. He might be sat on his bed or his luxury couch.

"Such a workaholic, aren't you?" Kendall smirked.

"Sort of," James sighed, "I hate talking on the phone."

"Why?"

"The radiation is not good for health. Can you… come here?"

Kendall needed something to hit his head really hard so it would make him realized that all he heard was the truth.

"You know… You can say it if you don't want…"

"Where I should go?"


	9. Chapter 9

"I like being here," James looked up to the clear sky.

They were at the roof of Diamond Enterprise building. Kendall had no idea how he got here, he just drove and yet here he was with the owner of half America's hotels and apartments. There're only two of them.

James turned his head to see Kendall "Thank you for coming, Kendall Knight."

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "Why you like being here… I mean, it's only a roof."

Roof.

_ "I never bring anyone here before. I mean, I know this only a roof but I love this place, it's my favorite place because it's quite and none can sees me. It's only me and sky." _

Déjà vu again… fuck.

Shane loved roof and James likes the same thing too. Why God did this to him?

Kendall stared at the brunet next to him. James did the same thing, only he smiled, "I like being here because… it's quite and none sees me. The sky is so beautiful from here."

Fuck. The same reason!

"Of course it's beautiful. Your building has 21 floors."

James chuckled, "Where's your favorite place?"

Kendall shrugged. He never had any favorite places before, not even one, "I don't have any."

"Really?" James asked in a shock like he didn't believe there's someone who didn't have their favorite place.

Kendall nodded, "Guess… it's my room."

James pulled his knees to his chest, "Why?"

Kendall didn't have any decent answer to those questions, "Because… my room is a place where I keep all of my guitars and where I can write my music."

James smiled, "Since when you play music?"

"Do you really need to ask everything?" Kendall annoyed, "I don't mind but… this is our first time together when I'm sober so…"

James chuckled, "Such a bitch."

"What?" Kendall almost laughed hearing James cursed.

"I try to know you better and you just ruined that moment," James grumbled, "You're not fun."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Sorry."

"If you don't want me to ask so many questions, then what do you want me to do?" James challenged him.

Kendall shrugged, "I don't know. You're the one who asked me to come."

"Sing for me," James ordered. He rested his back on the wall, crossed his hands in front of his chest then slowly closing his eyes.

Kendall frowned, "Why?"

"Because I said so," James answered without bother himself to open his eyes, "I like your voice. So, stop bitching and sing to me."

Kendall laughed, "I don't want to."

"Sing to me, Kendall Knight."

God! Was his name really sexy?

Kendall started to play, "What you're gonna do if I don't want to?"

James opened his eyes and took a deep breath. He shrugged, "I'll kiss your lips."

Kendall let out a deep sigh, "I prefer to not singing then." He laughed.

"Good choice," James stated. He pulled Kendall closer to his body then started to kiss the blond's lips.

Kendall put his hands over the brunet's waist, closing the distance between them. It felt so good. James' hand pulled the beanie over Kendall's head and grasped on the blond locks. Fuck, was it has to be this good?

James tasted so pure and good. There's a hint of peppermint, but mostly it was only him. God, this was too tempting for Kendall. It's a passionately kiss, the best kiss that Kendall ever had.

Again, James was the one who broke the kiss, "What's your plan tomorrow?"

"Are you serious asking that question?" Kendall mumbled, feeling a little bit upset because James just broke their perfect moment, "We're in the middle of making out."

James laughed.

"I don't have anything. Why?" Kendall murmured.

James placed a soft peck on Kendall's lips, "Good. I'll take you somewhere," Before Kendall could respond, James kissed him and the blond immediately kissed him back. The kiss, the wind, the clear sky, the moonlight, everything mixed beautifully like it all has been planned. Kendall wished it was never end.

"What?" his Mom frowned. Kendall sat in front of his Mom, they just finished breakfast.

It's Friday and Kendall was going to meet James.

"Uh… I'm going to visit a friend," Kendall had no idea how to tell his Mom. He couldn't just tell her 'Mom, I'll go with James Diamond today' that wasn't a best plan.

His Mom just nodded, "Which friend exactly? They're not your band?"

Even Kendall already 21 year old and had a cool job but his Mom still being overprotective.

"No," Kendall shook his head.

His Mom shrugged, "Whatever. You'll come home late?"

"Probably," Kendall nodded. He didn't know what to say because he had no idea where James was going to take him.

"Alright," Jennifer placed a soft kiss on her son's forehead, "Have fun!"

After sent his Mom to work, Kendall rushed taking the stairs to his room. He packed everything he might be needed like clothes, wallet, charger and his phone. Everything fit in his backpack.

Where the brunet would take him?

His phone rang, it's James.

"Yeah?" Kendall answered the phone, his heart thumping as he nervous.

"Good morning," Kendall almost could imagine the brunet over there was smiling, "Are you ready?"

Kendall nodded, "Yep. Where are we going?"

"It's not surprise if I tell you. Where I should pick you up?"

Whoa. This was too much for Kendall to handle. James would pick him up? No freaking way!

"How about I meet you somewhere?"

"Why?"

Damn you, James!

"Because… I didn't tell my Mom that I'm going with you."

"Oh, right. Alright, I'll meet you on parking lot at my office, how about that?"

Kendall frowned. He could hear James sounded a bit upset, "Are you mad?"

"No. I just… surprised. Drive safely, Kendall. See you soon."

"See you."

Kendall arrived at the Diamond Global Enterprise building and he didn't see James anywhere and yet he didn't know what kind of car that James used today. He had a feeling it wasn't a Corvette Stingray like when they met at Macy's.

He felt more nervous than before. It's all because he didn't tell anyone about this, not even Jo or Logan. Kendall felt, this was something that he wanted to keep only to himself and James. He felt the need to figure it out first.

His phone rang.

Crap! Camille!

"Ha…"

_"When do you planning to tell me that you and James is a thing now?" _she spurted, not giving Kendall a chance to say Hello.

Kendall sighed, "Hey, Cam. Sorry, I was going to call you yesterday but…"

_ "Uh huh. I don't need your reason. So?" _

"What?"

Camille let out a deep sigh, _"You and James?" _

"Kinda," Kendall didn't know what to say, "I don't know. We haven't figured it out yet, we're just… kiss and talk."

_ "Wow interesting!"_ Camille chuckled, _"I hope the best for you guys." _

Kendall grinned, from here he could imagine Camille's happy face, "Thanks."

_ "Let's have lunch today! I want the full story."_

"I'm busy," Kendall stopped talking when someone knocked the window. It's the Greek God, wore his Ray-Ban aviator, smiling at him.

Kendall opened the window then signed James to not talking, the brunet frowned but he obeyed. He walked to the other side, sat on the passenger seat.

_"Kendall?" _

"Yeah," Kendall pointed to his phone, James just gave him a nod, "Sorry, I can't. I have… plan."

_"Oh, that's bad. Jo asked me to meet her tomorrow, she said you'll come." _

"Yes, I'll come tomorrow." Kendall couldn't take his eyes from James. He looked too handsome today in a black unbuttoned shirt, showing of half of his muscular chest, a blue jeans that shaping his perfect long legs, hanging on the golden torso of him. James was also shaved his facial hair and damn, his clean face was something special God sent from Heaven.

_ "You sound distracted, what's wrong?" _

James smiled, placing kisses on all over Kendall's jaw line. Did James just teasing him?

That's sexy.

Kendall sighed, "Yeah… I… I can't talk right now, Camille."

Once James heard his cousin's name, he stopped his action. Otherwise, he stared at Kendall as he asked for answer.

_"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then! Don't forget to tell me the full story." _

"Sure… yeah," Kendall just nodded then hanging up the phone.

James frowned, "Why she called you?"

"She asked about you," Kendall moved his body closer to James, placed a gentle peck on the brunet's pink lips, "Good morning."

James smiled, "Good morning, Kendall Knight."

Kendall always loves how James always calls him in a full name. His name sounded sexier.

"So," James exhaled, "Why Camille asked about me?"

"She suspected us," Kendall smirked, "She knew you're gay."

James rolled his eyes, "Not a surprise,"

Kendall squeezed James' shoulder, "So, where are we going?"

"My favorite places." James answered proudly, "And we're taking my ride. You can leave your car here."

Kendall obeyed, "Okay." he took his backpack from backseat and followed James got out from car.

James wore his sun glasses, "Come on."

They didn't walk to another car but walked to the other side of the building, seemed like they were heading to the rear of building. Kendall didn't ask anything even though he had no idea why they're here.

They took the elevator and up to the top of the building.

"Do you hate flying?" James randomly asked the question. The brunet typed something on his phone.

Kendall shook his head, "No. I'm cool. Why?"

"Nothing," James smiled, "Anyway, I like your outfits today."

Kendall swore he didn't know how to respond. Why James liked his outfits? He wore an article white t-shirt with a black cardigan and a black jeans, he also wore the gray beanie.

"My most favorite is you on your beanie," James stepped closer, "It suits you perfectly."

_ "I like your beanie. It's like you and beanie are meant to be together."_

Why this was happening to him?

Why James and Shane liked the same things?

Kendall pulled out his beanie then placed it on James' head, touched the brunet locks to make it neat, "It suits you well, too."

James smiled, "Really?" he touched the beanie, "I never wore something like this before."

Kendall nodded, "You wear it better than me," he felt satisfy.

James turned his head to see his reflection on the mirror on the elevator wall, "I like it."

"You can have it if you want," Kendall put his hand around James' waist, "I told you, you wear it better, ten thousand times."

James laughed, "Thanks."

The ring on elevator signed them that they've arrived on their floor. James walked out first and Kendall followed him behind. They were not in a room but they're on the roof but this wasn't a roof from yesterday. It's another one, probably the other side, Kendall wasn't sure.

"Good morning, Mr. Diamond." A middle age man greeted James. He looked like an FBI agent or something.

James nodded, "Good morning, Tom."

Tom – his assistant or whatever – smiled to Kendall, "Good morning, Sir."

Kendall felt the most awkward moment in his life. He never treated like this before, "Morning."

Tom nodded then walking to James' side, "Your Euro is ready to go, Sir."

"Thank you."

"Is it a near or far distance, Sir?"

James turned to see Kendall who walked behind him. He smiled and Kendall just shrugged. He didn't know about their plan so why James felt the need to turn as he asked Kendall's permission.

What James meant with his ride was a black – silver Eurocopter. Kendall tried his best to not dropping his jaws.

"This is your ride?" Kendall smirked.

James smiled, "Yes. I like the fastest ride, Kendall."

"Enjoy your fly, Sir." Tom intruded the conversation then slowly leaving them.

Kendall landed a punch on James' shoulder, "Such a cocky young man, huh?"

James just laughed, "You have no problem, right? I hate traffic."

They got into the luxury Eurocopter. James helped Kendall to place his backpack on the back seat.

"I have no idea what are you doing, James." Kendall mumbled as he wore his safety belt, "I don't know what you do to make money."

James ignored him. He put the headphone on Kendall's head instead, "Ready to fly, Mr. Knight?"

Kendall nodded, "Are you sure you can drive this helicopter?"

"This is my first try," James joked, "Of course I can, Kendall! I won't do something stupid and bring you to the death."

Kendall remembered about the article he read about James, "This is your hobby, huh?" Kendall chuckled.

James started the first thing to do before flying, "How did you know?" he turned his head to see Kendall before talking to someone he called tower.

"I just now," Kendall felt they moved higher. He saw they're moved higher and higher until slowly leaving the roof.

James grabbed Kendall's hand, "This is your first time?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "I never took helicopter before or sat on co-pilot's chair. This is awesome!"

James smiled, "I'm glad you like it."

"It's cool to be you," Kendall said honestly, "You can do everything. I'm wondering, what you can't do."

James shook his head, "No, it's cool to be you. You can be everything you want."

Kendall felt there's sadness on James eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," James turned his head. Hands still holding the steer, "Do you want to drive?"

Kendall's eyes widened, "Hell no. Thanks."

James laughed, "It's easy."

"Yeah, it's easy for you to say. I prefer to be a good passenger and enjoy the trip. Thanks."

James caressed Kendall's head, "Everything you want, Kendall Knight."

There it was.

The moment where Kendall's heart being touched by simple words from James, the brunet almost made Kendall had heart attack only with fucking words. What was it?

The flight was only an hour or so. They arrived at the empty ground, "Where are we?" Kendall took off his safety belt.

James smiled, "Venice. We're going to my home."

Once they got off from the Eurocopter, the twosome headed to another luxury ride of James Diamond.

"How many cars do you have?" Kendall asked before got into the newest version Chevrolet Camaro SS.

"A few," James answered humbly.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Liar."

James just shrugged then turned on the engine. They slowly left the helipad. Kendall had to admit that James was a good driver – either it's a car or helicopter.

"I'll cook for lunch." James stated.

Kendall mumbled, "Are you going to show off all of your skills today?"

"I try my best," James chuckled, "What do you want to eat?"

"Uh…" Kendall stared to the road, "Surprise me?"

The car pulled into a minimalist house across the Venice canals. Really, this James Diamond must be the richest young man.

James turned off the engine, "Welcome to my home."

The house was all in gray. It was two stories house with a minimalist model. Kendall liked it, the house reflecting James perfectly.

"You live here?"

James shook his head, "Weekdays, I live in my apartment in LA then I spend my weekend here." He opened the door. The inside of the house was more interesting than the outside. It was surprising that this house wasn't a luxury one.

"Alone?" Kendall dropped his backpack on the floor.

"Yes," James took Kendall's backpack and placed it on the couch, "How old are you, fifteen?"

Kendall chuckled, "Sorry, old habit." He comforted himself on the black couch, took off his cardigan.

James came back – Kendall didn't realize the brunet was gone – with two cans of soda. He threw it one to the blond.

"Do you like surfing?"

Kendall nodded, "I barely hit the beach but it's one of my favorite."

"Good. I love surfing." James said happily. He checked his watch, "It's almost 9 and the weather is good. How about we hit the waves?"

Kendall's eyes sharpened, "Can we?"

"Yes, do you bring your trunks?" James asked a little bit worry, since he didn't tell Kendall about their plan.

Kendall pouted, "Luckily, I do."

"That's relief," James sighed, "Sorry for not telling you earlier, I thought it would… romantic if I surprised you."

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Kendall gulped, "This is romantic."

"Thanks," James smirked, "I'll show you your room."

Kendall followed the elder male to the second floor. The house was really a usual house, there's nothing luxury.

Maybe this was the real reflection of James. The brunet maybe wasn't a glamorous one.

"This is my room," James opened the first brown door then stepped out to open another door, "This is your room."

Kendall crossed his hands on the chest, "Why we have a separate room?"

"Pardon?" James' eyes widened.

Kendall stepped closer, touched James' chin, "Can we just shared our room?" he whispered.

James' face faded out, "Uh… Kendall…"

Kendall chuckled, "I'm just kidding," he pecked James' lips, "I'll take 5 for change my clothes." He walked to his room leaving the brunet who now cursing him because the tease.

Today's going to be a great day.

James was obviously a Surf God came down from Heaven. This brunet totally killed their surfing time with hitting almost every perfect wave. Kendall tried his best to not zooning out every time he sees James danced on the surf board.

God!

Kendall wondering what James couldn't do actually?

"You have a good time?" James dried his body – the muscular tan well building body – with a towel.

Kendall did the same, "Big time." He smiled. Honestly, this was the best thing happened to Kendall, at least this week. He missed hit the wave, missed the adrenalin and the feel when he's on the surf board.

James smiled, "I'm so glad you enjoy it."

"It feels like…" Kendall breathed heavily, "Just like the old times when me and my Dad went for surfing once a week."

James caught the sadness on Kendall's eyes, "What happened?"

Kendall turned his head, the brunet facing him, pure hazel eyes staring at him, "He died 5 years ago."

"Kendall, I'm sorry," James held his hand, "I really am."

He nodded, wrapped their fingers together, "Don't worry. I've through this. I'd let him go."

This was the moment that Kendall wanted. It's only him and James with their hands wrapped each other, the sound of the waves and the perfect weather on the beach.

James smiled, "You know… my Dad never taught me anything."

Kendall's eyes widened. How could?

"He's really busy. He did everything to build Diamond Enterprise and almost forget that he has family. My Mom almost left him until she realized she's pregnant." James stared at the beach. His voice sounded weak.

Kendall never saw him like this.

"They were really happy because I'm a boy." James turned his head to Kendall, "You know… heir must be a boy."

Kendall gulped, "Like a prince?"

"Yeah, I treated like a prince. I have everything and I can do everything. I like my life except the fact that my Dad never taught me anything. I am who I am now is really from what I learn at school but he's so proud like he put effort on me,"

Kendall didn't know the earlier life of James Diamond was that pity. He remembered how his Dad struggled to teach him how to bike, teach him how to play basketball, football even field hockey.

"My family is a perfect family, Kendall." James stated. He sounded very strained, "My parents see me perfect enough. I graduated from Harvard Business School as the best graduation. I'm a CEO of my company in my earlier 20's. The problem is…" he pulled their hands to his bare chest, "I'm gay. I like guys, I like you and they won't accept this."

Kendall speechless, he didn't know what to say.

"I like you more than I should even though we're just… how many days since I met you?" he frowned.

Kendall chuckled, "I don't know… uh… yesterday?"

"Right," James nodded in agreement, "Yesterday was the official day for us when both of them are sober and we talked."

Kendall nodded, "Sober. Right,"

"What should I do?" James asked in a low voice. His eyes locked to Kendall's eyes, "I don't think this only a crush. I know I barely know you… but… hell, I feel like I'm under the spell."

Kendall chuckled, "Don't you think we're not switched up? You are the James Diamond and I'm just Kendall, random guy from the band."

"Fuck that shit," James smirked, "I don't care who you are and what you do. I just care about this," he raised their hands, "Your hand perfectly fits in mine like they're meant to be together. This is all I cared, my time with you, Kendall Knight."

Kendall turned his body to face the tan next to him. James closed his eyes, fallen into deep sleep, breathed softly next to Kendall, his hands never moving, still wrapping Kendall's bare waist.

Kendall's right hand raised, fingers running down on the brunet locks, "I like you too much. Don't you think we're too early for this? I don't think you know much about me and neither do I."

He admired the Adonis' face. He never stopped thinking how someone could look alike too much?

This was too much to handle.

_ "I don't know about you, but… I know we know each other for only a week and I already like you so much. After all, you are the only one that I cared the most, Kendall. Either this is too early or not, I don't care." _

The memory of Shane back to his mind painfully. Kendall closed his eyes, breathed heavily.

Kendall nodded, "I know. I like you too much I guess."

_ "Good," Shane wrapped their hands, "Because I do too. Hey, it's almost your birthday, what do you want?" _

_ "I don't know," Kendall shook his head, "I guess, I just want you." _

_ "You want me as a birthday gift? Wow. That's too much for asked, Greedy! Well… maybe I can hide on the big box, wrapped a red ribbon on my head. How about that?" _

Kendall could feel his tears started to fall. Every time the flashback of Shane comes, it's torturing him.

"Kendall?" James' voice broke the silence, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head and pulled James' body to him, buried his face on James' bare chest. The brunet caressed his back, calming him. Kendall could feel a soft kiss landed on his head.

"I'm here, Kendall." James whispered on Kendall's earlobe. His words magically healed the pain.

"Sorry," Kendall released their hug, "I… there's memory that I don't want to remember smacked my brain."

James smiled, gently caressed Kendall's head, "It's okay." he pecked on Kendall's lips, "Feel better?"

"Absolutely," Kendall smiled, "I could stay here forever if you act like this."

James chuckled, "I have to work and so you are. We're not a lazy ass couple, Kendall."

Couple

The brunet seemed shocked with his own words, "I mean…"

"I know," Kendall nodded, "We don't have to figure it out now. I'm not going anywhere."

James smiled, "Thank you."

"Do you think we should get up and go home? It's almost 6 am…" Kendall showed James his watch.

James shrugged, "I don't have anything to do today…"

"Unfortunately, I have a plan. I promised Jo for lunch," Kendall smiled wryly.

James nodded, "Oh… Jo is the blonde one you brought on Venice Music Festival?"

"Yeah,"

"Who is she?"

Kendall smiled. He remembered James stared at them tensely, "She's my best friend."

James looked relief, "I thought she is…"

"My girlfriend?" Kendall cut him, "So, you're jealous that day…"

"What?" James shook his head, face turning read, "No. I'm not jealous."

Kendall teased, "The more you deny, the more you show me the proof." He raised his body, half pressing the brunet's body.

James raised an eyebrow, "No."

"You are, wow…" Kendall amazed, "I don't know James Diamond can feel jealous too."

James landed a soft punch on Kendall's shoulder, "Shut up."

Kendall laughed, "I like when you're jealous. You stared at me like you're going to kill me, but that's really sexy you know."

"I said I'm not jealous," James insisted. The brunet woke to sit, stretched his hands and behind him Kendall watched him in amazed.

"Fuck, you're sexy badass." Kendall breathed heavily.

James looked over his shoulder, "Uh huh. I bet you like what you see, Ken." He smirked then walked to bathroom.

"Fuck," Kendall laughed. He stared at the ceiling, mind never stop thinking and working.

Maybe Shane was right. He didn't need to think too much, he only needs to enjoy the moment they have right now.

Jo, Camille, Logan and Carlos were already on the bistro. Kendall was arrived a bit late – considering he's really tired after spent his Friday with James and just got home at 9 am on Saturday. He was so damn tired.

"Whoaaa…" Jo hugged Kendall tightly, "Someone just got tanned."

Kendall smiled, "Hi." He greeted everyone, included gave Camille a warm hug and the petite girl obviously suspicious on him.

Thank God both of them – Jo and Camille – didn't say anything.

The lunch went great. Kendall really had a good time with his best friends even though Dustin wasn't there because family matter.

"So, what are you doing yesterday?" Camille asked Kendall in a challenge motion.

This bitch!

Kendall shrugged, "Nothing."

"How did you get tan so fast?" now it's Carlos turns.

Kendall stared to each eyes of his friends. What he supposed to say? Was he better be honest or not? This was nothing to do with he didn't trust them but he didn't know what they would think.

Of course they would support Kendall because they're his best friends but…

Now or never

He couldn't hide this forever.

"I went to Venice with James." and that's all being said.

Carlos almost spilled his drink, eyes staring at Kendall in shock. Logan worse, he dropped his fork to the plate – was it too much?

Jo and Camille… they almost fainted.

None said anything.

None

Fuck. This was a bad sign.

Kendall cleared his throat, "It's not a big deal." He added to try to break the silence.

"Are you nuts?" Logan was the one who finally opened his mouth, "He is James Diamond."

Kendall nodded, "Yeah. I though you're the one who said 'who the hell cares? He is James Diamond and you are Kendall Knight' thing." He quoted.

Logan blanked off, "I… I don't know… this could happen so fast."

"Wow," Carlos mouthed. He pushed his drink, losing his appetite.

Jo took a deep breath, "Okay, uh… what exactly you both doing?"

"Did you and James drive to Venice? Did he took you to his house?" that's Camille

Logan rested his back to the chair, "This is beyond my imagination."

Camille landed a punch on his arm, "Stop bitching, Logie! They both are cute together okay!"

Kendall couldn't help but smiling.

"You better tell us what happened, Kendall. Before your fan hit me more." Logan annoyed.

"Okay," Kendall nodded, "Uh… After I met him at his office…"

"What?!"

Kendall totally forgot that he hadn't told Camille yet, "Sorry. Okay… so, I drove my Mom to his office for a meeting. I swear I don't know anything about that. Uh… We met then I braced myself to talk to him after their meeting."

Carlos frowned, "Why you need to talk to him?"

Again, Kendall totally forgot that not all his best friend knew about him and James and this crazy thing.

Kendall sighed, "Okay, take 2. Do you remember Shane Adams, the guy that I've talked about 5 years ago, the guy that…" this was too hard, he could feel Jo's hand wrapped his hand, giving him power to speak out, "the guy that I loved."

Carlos nodded, "I remember. He's the one that you've met at the hospital."

"Right, that guy," Kendall sighed, he could feel all eyes on him, waiting for him to tell the whole story, "When we're in New York, I jogged and I thought I saw ghost of him but it wasn't. He's James Diamond. Since I have no idea who is James Diamond and I still thinking him as Shane, I ran after him."

Camille gave him a 'now you tell me' look.

"I insisted he is Shane and James insisted he isn't. Of course he does. Then… we met him during our meeting with Camille. Then… we met him again in Venice."

Carlos' eyes widened, he mouthed a wow.

Kendall caught the oxygen, "I drunk because I can't hold the pain. The more I see James the more flashback memories of Shane back to me and it's not easy for me. I sat on the seaside when suddenly James came. He gave me a compliment for our show and asked about New York, why I insisted he was the guy that I know. I was too drunk and honestly I don't remember what I said to him but… I remembered that I kissed him."

"He walked out. He left me on the seaside then came back and brought me to the porch."

"Oh my God!" Jo whispered.

Kendall nodded, "I met him at his office. I wanted to talk to him, I want to ask for apologize but there… I got his confession. He told me he… he liked me since the first day we met."

"New York?!" that's a hysterical Camille.

Kendall gave another nod, "Yes. He confessed that he liked me. He couldn't take his mind off of me. I have no idea how and why but then I remembered that's how I felt when I'm with Shane. I barely knew him but I liked him more than I should."

Camille wiped her tears, "This story hundred better than any other fictions everywhere!"

Kendall chuckled, "Do you want me to continue or not?"

"Continue please," Jo insisted.

"I don't know where the power comes, I just… I didn't think anything. I just pulled his body and kissed him and he kissed me back. Then, he called me that night, asked me to come to his office roof. We talked a lot then there's his craziness started. He told about his plan to take me somewhere and the somewhere is Venice. He took me to his house. We went to the beach, surfing, he cooked me lunch and dinner and stayed up all night. We talked a lot."

Kendall let out a deep sigh, "That's all. That's how I got tan."

Camille grabbed his hand, "You must be really important to James."

"Why?" Kendall frowned, "I mean… yeah, he said he likes me a lot but…"

"He never took anyone to his house, Kendall. He never let anyone as a random people he didn't know much, sitting on his car, go surfing with him, or cooking for him, never in history that ever happened."

Kendall speechless, was he that important to James?

"He is extremely picky. Even his Dad never sat on his car…"

Kendall felt the need to clarify something, "We don't take car as a ride… We take his Eurocopter."

Carlos' eyes widened more. Kendall worried the Latino's eyes would drop anytime soon, "You gotta be kidding me!"

Camille gulped, "Wow. He really has something for you, Kendall Knight. For your information, none can touch his ride especially his helicopters and you just put your butt there?" she raised her hands up, "Nothing to say."

"Uh…" Kendall felt something hit his head. He felt happy and worry at the same time.

"Kendall," Jo pulled him into a warm hug, "You really important for him!"

Should this all happening to him? Should James like him that much? How if Kendall didn't like the brunet as much as he did? How if Kendall like James because Shane's shadows?


	10. Chapter 10

**_HEY GUYS! I'm so happy that some of you beautiful people like my first fic. Like I said, I wrote it back in 2014 and uploaded on wattpad but then I really wanted to upload in this website. So here's the chapter 10! I hope you guys enjoy it. Please R&amp;R. _**

**_Oh, don't forget to check out my second fic, A SKY FULL OF STARS. _**

**_LOVE YOU GUYS OODLES AND OODLES! _**

* * *

_ Kendall jumped out from the car, right hand holding a cake box and left hand locking the car's doors. He's too excited for today. On your birthday, nothing better than spend with people you love. _

_ He ran through the hallway until he reached the elevators. He pushed the elevators' up button, impatient waiting for the silver doors to finally opens. Moments later, the elevators door opened, two nurses and some people managed to get out. _

_ "Kendall," one of the nurses called his name, "How are you?" _

_ He smiled, "Never been better," he managed to get in, clicked the 5th button, "See you!" he called out when the elevators door slid closing._

_ Shane's room was in the end of the hallway. He could imagine how happy Shane was when the brunet saw him in his doorstep. Kendall couldn't stop smiling. He always wants to do this with someone that meant so much to him._

_ His Mom promised she would come after finishing her works. Kendall couldn't wait to introduce Shane to his Mom. Boyfriend? Yeah, they'd figured it out. Whatever this relationship called, Kendall only care that he loved Shane and the brunet too. That's all. _

_ The room was empty. Shane was seen nowhere. _

_ "Excuse me," Kendall called the nurse who just passed Shane's room. _

_ He knew she's Grace, one of the nurses who taking care of Shane's medication, "Where's Shane?" _

_ Grace looked surprise and confuse, "Uh… None called you?" _

_ "No, why?"_

_ She looked so uncomfortable, her eyes learning Kendall's confuse face, "He died last night… I mean, early morning." _

_ Kendall could feel his ears started ringing, "You must be kidding me!" he insisted, most likely for himself even though he knew for sure that this nurse telling the truth._

_ Grace holding Kendall's shoulder, "Kendall, calm down." _

_ Kendall's knees started to limp, ears' ringing, body's shaking, head's banging. He wanted to deny the fact that Shane was died. The brunet called him in the middle of the night, 12 on the dot, to say him happy birthday, to give him birthday wishes then he just died? _

_ "Kendall!" _

_ The cake dropped to the floor, broken into pieces._

_ Tears falling down from Kendall's eyes and his sight getting more blurry. This was too much for handle. How could Shane do this to him on his birthday? Shane promised he would celebrate Kendall's birthday together. _

_ Fucking liar!_

_ The last thing Kendall remembered was him on the car with his Mom on their way back to home._

Kendall just finished the band's practice. He packed his things back to his backpack and made his way to the door, "Bye, Guys." He waved his hand to the rest of band members.

"Where are you going?" Logan asked.

Kendall actually had no idea where he would be going, "Uh… James?"

Dustin chuckled, "You both are so cute," he mocked. Now, all of his best friends knew about him and James. The brunet seemed fine with this, they are Kendall's best friends after all.

"Play safely!" Carlos shouted.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Shut up!" he pushed the door then walked out even he still hearing his friends' laugh and mocks.

He tucked to his jeans pocket to find the car key while his phone's ringing. It must be James.

"Hello?"

"Kendall Knight." his usual greets, "Where are you?"

Kendall threw his backpack to the backseat, "Studio. Where are you?"

"Office," James answered shortly, "How about I meet you at Lif Apartment?"

Kendall nodded, the stupid thing he always does, "Okay. What time?"

"Now?"

He chuckled, "Your wish, Command."

"Good. I miss you."

Kendall's heart stops beating, "I miss you too, James." This was too fucking cute, they just met yesterday and miss each other already? This was the best thing to start his Monday after all.

Nothing was sexier than James Diamond wearing a black tank top and blue skinny jeans with his shade on. Kendall tried his best to not open his mouth or worse, drooling. He smiled and waved to the brunet who walked towards him from the elevators.

"So, this is where you live." Kendall smirked, "Not bad."

James smiled not impressed at all, "Thanks. You drive here?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "I wanna drive today." He didn't want to be the girl in this relationship – what's their relationship anyway? Kendall didn't want to think about that, not today when his partner was fucking hot.

"Alright," James agreed, "Let's see how you drive, Kendall Knight. If I don't like it, you're fired."

Kendall laughed, "I bet my driving skill is better than you."

"Huh?" James shrugged, "Come on. I hate being late."

They both headed to the basement where Kendall parked his car. James seemed busy with his phones – answering phone call and email – and Kendall just walked, sometimes he took a peek to see what James doing.

"You're busy." Kendall commented when they got in the car.

James frowned, "I'm so sorry, Kendall. There's… something on the office and I feel the need to take care by myself."

Kendall leaned his face to give the brunet a soft kiss on the lips, "It's okay, I don't want to be a distraction. How about we stay home?"

James shook his head no, "I've booked. Come on, it will be fun."

"Okay. What are we gonna do and where?" Kendall gave up. The brunet was a big head and it's impossible to debate.

"We're going to gun shooting target practice," James smiled.

Kendall gulped, "Wow… It's so fucking hard to hang out with you, Mr. Diamond."

The brunet laughed, "It'll be fun I promise." He pressed the music player button, "Come on." He told Kendall the address. Kendall started to drive, heading out from the basement and hit the main road.

_ Kendall stared at Shane's grieve. The fresh flowers and the wind seemed supporting his mourning. _

_ Day by day, Kendall always spends his time on the cemetery. His Mom and friends tried their best to cheer him up but it's just a waste. None could heal the pain except Shane himself._

_ Kendall only knew the brunet for 2 weeks. He met him at the hospital, not a cool place to fall in love. He liked him more than he should and 3 days before Shane died, Kendall realized this wasn't an only crush. This feeling was so strong that he couldn't handle. He realized this feeling was too strong for just a friend and he knew for sure that Shane felt the same. _

_ This feeling is what people called love._

_ Kendall woke up on the fourth day of his mourning, felt nothing but the pain in his heart. _

_ It's only 8 am when he joined his Mom to eat breakfast. As much as he wanted to cry and drowned into the pain, Kendall realized he had his Mom and friends and they need him to get up. Fuck, was it so hard? _

_ "Honey," his Mom frowned, "Eat something, please." _

_ Kendall forced his lips to make a smile, "Sure. Sorry, I've been so messed up lately." He kissed his Mom's forehead, "I won't do that again I promise." _

_ His Mom nodded, "I understand. I'll cook your favorite food for dinner, okay?" _

_ He nodded, "Thanks, Mom." _

_ After breakfast, Kendall turned on the TV acted as usual as he was. His Mom already in peach blouse and brown skirt, she was ready to work. _

_ "Mom, is it okay if I call Logan, Carlos and Dustin to hang out here? I don't have a mood to go anywhere." Kendall asked._

_ "Of course," His Mom smiled, "I'll send pizza and burgers for lunch. Okay?" _

_ Kendall hugged his Mom before she walked out, "Cool! Thanks Mom." _

_ After sent his Mom to work, Kendall called his friends and they accepted happily. They've been waiting for Kendall cheer up for so long and it's a relief now he called them back._

_ They played video games that Carlos brought from home, watched movie and played music, a little practice time. They had a good time until someone knocked the door and brought a package for Kendall Knight. Logan was the one who opened the door. _

_ "Package for Kendall Knight," _

_ Kendall walked toward them. He didn't remember ordered something online, "For me?" he asked, "I don't order anything." _

_ The package guy nodded, "Yes. This is from…" he stopped for a while, reading his paper, "Shane Adams." _

_ Kendall froze. His brain started to replay everything that he tried to forget. _

_ Logan accepted the package when he saw Kendall just stood still and the guy looked confuse._

_ "Thanks."_

_ Carlos ran from the living room and touched Kendall's shoulder, "Kendall, dude." He called out._

_ Dustin and Logan looked at each other. Kendall didn't say anything. He just stared at the package blankly. _

_ Birthday Gift for Kendall Knight _

_ Kendall touched the package slowly. He started to open the box and his eyes locked into the brown guitar, the guitar that he'd been dreamt of. _

_ "Oh God," Logan closed his mouth, "Kendall…" _

_ Kendall smiled, tears falling down on his cheeks, "Shane…" he whispered, calling out the brunet's name, hand extended to touch the new guitar, brought it to his hug and closed his eyes._

_ Carlos couldn't help but cried along with Dustin and Logan. They hugged Kendall from the back, caressed the skinny boy who now crying out loud._

If Kendall was on one of action movie scenes, then here it was. He was the chick that waiting for someone to help her from the bad guy. He was the chick, that's obvious. Then James was the good guy with muscles and gun and all the actions to save Kendall.

"I don't know you enjoy gun shooting practice." Kendall stated when they both finally rested after two hours or so shooting the targets. He had a big zero point, none of his shoot caught the target when James did all of them perfectly.

James squeezed Kendall's shoulder, "You enjoy it, too."

"Uh huh," Kendall sighed, "I enjoy watching you." he corrected.

James chuckled. He took off the safety glasses and headphone, stretching the muscles that been tensed during the practice. Kendall stared at him in amazed, realized that the brunet was something from Heaven. He's too perfect to be true.

"What?" James frowned when he realized Kendall just sat still, staring at him without saying words.

The Adonis obviously not a human, not even close. Kendall shook his head, hiding the smile, "Nothing,"

James stood up, "Come on. It's getting late."

The twosome headed to the parking lot. Kendall threw his car key to James, the brunet caught it right in time, "I don't think I can use my arms…" he grinned.

James smirked, "Not a surprise, you did much." He gave a bold tone on much.

"Thanks," Kendall rolled his eyes, "I'm so hungry." He caressed the flat tummy.

"How if… dinner at my place?" James asked, the pink lips smiling, hazel eyes locking into the green eyes.

Kendall smiled, "This is a date."

James chuckled as he opened the door, "Don't be a dick. I try my best, Mr. Knight." He started to drive the car heading to the main road.

"I like it." Kendall put the seatbelt on, "I like go on date with you."

James smiled, "Thanks."

"What's your plan for tomorrow?" Kendall turned his body to facing the brunet.

James frowned as his brain tried to remember his schedule, "I have meetings and speech for seminar, it probably until 4. Why?"

"Good," Kendall felt satisfy, "Come to my band practice."

James' eyes widened, "You sure?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "You've met them before. There's no difference."

James nodded as a yes, "Yeah why not? We can have dinner together with your band and Camille. She's dating Logan, right?"

"Uh huh," Kendall pulled his phone from the jeans pocket, "She'll be there,"

James sighed, "As long as… it's only your friends and Camille, I think I won't have problem."

Kendall caressed James' shoulder, "They won't say anything to anyone, I promise."

"I know," James nodded, eyes locking into the road, "I can't stop this and I know, neither you are."

Kendall leaned his head to give the brunet a soft kiss on the neck, James took a deep breathe.

"Kendall," he hissed.

The blond chuckled, "Sensitive, huh?"

James landed a soft punch on Kendall's thigh, "Fuck you."

Instead of punch the brunet back, Kendall locked their fingers together, "I'm sure James Diamond can drives with one hand, right?"

"I can do anything for you," James tighter their lock.

Kendall almost fainted when he saw James slid the gold card on the brown door. The number of the door that made him wanted to throw everything on his stomach.

111.

"Kendall?" James called his name when he realized the blond didn't follow him get into the apartment.

The skinny guy swallowed his saliva, tried his best to ignore the painful flashback, "Sorry." He entered the apartment along with the brunet.

James walked first, managed to the kitchen, "What do you want for dinner?"

Kendall threw himself on the black and soft couch, "Anything,"

"Pasta?" James asked.

"Yeah… yeah…" Kendall couldn't ignore the flashback anymore. He didn't even realize he already opened his hat and jacket.

_ "Why is everything numbered 111?" Kendall gave Shane back his drawing books. They both were on their hidden place, the roof._

_ Shane smiled, "111 is my lucky number." _

_ Kendall frowned, "Why?" _

_ "I don't know. I just… like how it looks like and… I feel lucky if I see them." _

James sat beside Kendall, eyes locking into the blond, worried, "Hey," he caressed Kendall's shoulder.

"Huh?" Kendall frowned.

"You talked in your sleep." James frowned, "What's wrong?"

Kendall shook his head, "Nothing. I… must be so tired. What was that?"

"Your talk?" James asked and Kendall just gave him a nod, "That's unclear. You just mumbled…"

Kendall sighed, "Thanks to you who make me tired today."

James laughed, he stood up and extended his hand signing Kendall to accept it, "Come on, dinner is ready."

Kendall couldn't concentrate during the dinner and James realized it.

"Seriously, what's wrong, Kendall?" James stopped eating.

"Huh?" Kendall blanked out.

James crossed his hands on the chest, "You distracted by something and it's really confusing."

"Sorry," Kendall released his hand, opened his palm and James wrapped their fingers, "I won't do that again."

James let out a soft uh huh as he didn't believe to what Kendall said, "Tell me or I'll kick your ass."

Kendall sighed, "It's… nothing."

"That's about… the guy who looks like me, right?" James guessed.

Why the brunet had to guess it right?

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "He… his lucky number is 111, just like your room."

James gasped, his face showing the emotions that Kendall couldn't explain. There's surprise and confuse.

"Why?" Kendall asked. He really wanted to know why James had to show that reaction.

James bowed, staring at his plate which now still filed with half of the carbonarra, "Uh… It's my lucky number too."

Fuck.

James grabbed Kendall's hand, giving the soft cares on the back of his hand, "Sorry… I don't know."

Kendall nodded, "Don't say sorry, this isn't your fault."

"It isn't yours too," James' lips pulling into a beautiful smile, "Come on, finish our dinner then I'll show you something."

After finished their dinner, James brought Kendall to the other part of his luxury apartment. Kendall had no idea that the brunet has his own music studio. He had guitars, grand piano and even drum.

"I don't know you enjoy playing music." Kendall touched one of James' guitars, "I have one like this, the older version than you."

James smiled, "Guess I beat your guitar collection?"

"No, I still win." Kendall chuckled, "Seriously James, you just full of surprise."

The brunet just laughed. He walked toward the grand piano, "Come on, let's play something."

Kendall nodded, "What do you want to play?"

"Uh… do you know… It's now or never by Elvis?" James asked in a low tone as he wasn't sure that it's a good idea.

Kendall didn't give the brunet an answer but he started to pick the guitar, playing the song's intro. He started to sing the first part,

_It's now or never,_  
_come hold me tight_  
_Kiss me my darling,_  
_be mine tonight_  
_Tomorrow will be too late,_  
_it's now or never_  
_My love won't wait _

James following him to play the song with piano and sang along with him,

_When I first saw you_  
_with your smile so tender_  
_My heart was captured,_  
_my soul surrendered_  
_I'd spend a lifetime_  
_waiting for the right time_  
_Now that your near_  
_the time is here at last _

Kendall stopped playing the guitar, surprised by how perfect James' voice was, "I don't know you can sing really well!" he's so stoked.

James chuckled, turning to see Kendall over his shoulder, "Guess I surprised you more?"

Kendall stepped closer to the grand piano, "You do. You surprised me a lot."

"I take it as a compliment," James smiled, "Thank you."

The blond bowed and leaned his face to give James a kiss on his nose tip, "I like you more every day."

James put his hand around Kendall's waist, "I like you more too, Kendall Knight. Let's continue our duet."

"This is my honor to get duet with you, James Diamond." Kendall could feel his heart beating faster than usual as he seeing James started to play the piano again.

_It's now or never,_  
_come hold me tight_  
_Kiss me my darling,_  
_be mine tonight_  
_Tomorrow will be too late,_  
_it's now or never_  
_My love won't wait._

_When I first saw you_  
_with your smile so tender_  
_My heart was captured,_  
_my soul surrendered_  
_I'd spend a lifetime_  
_waiting for the right time_  
_Now that your near_  
_the time is here at last._

_It's now or never,_  
_come hold me tight_  
_Kiss me my darling,_  
_be mine tonight_  
_Tomorrow will be too late,_  
_it's now or never_  
_My love won't wait._

_Just like a willow,_  
_we would cry an ocean_  
_If we lost true love_  
_and sweet devotion_  
_Your lips excite me,_  
_let your arms invite me_  
_For who knows when_  
_we'll meet again this way_

_It's now or never,_  
_come hold me tight_  
_Kiss me my darling,_  
_be mine tonight_  
_Tomorrow will be too late,_  
_it's now or never_  
_My love won't wait._

(Elvis Presley – It's now or never)

Kendall couldn't ask for more. He felt grateful to how James always could heal the pain flashback of Shane even though mostly, it's the brunet who made the flashback came more was like the poison and antidote at the same time and Kendall felt the addiction of him. He was like nicotine.


	11. Chapter 11

_ Kendall Knight was only a 17 year old boy but he was one hundred or more sure that he's the only one who knew how it felt to be loved then left behind. He loved his Dad so much as much as he loved his Mom. He loved his friends so fucking bad like he couldn't spend a day without them. _

_ Then he loved Shane Adams so much, the boy who just passed away 10 days ago, the one whom Kendall met at the hospital 4 weeks ago, the brunet haired boy who made Kendall's life turning into 180 degrees. _

_ Kendall sat in front of the gray tomb written as Shane Adam's. It's a great day on November 12nd and the blond chose to spend it in a cemetery. He picked his guitar, playing a random sad song which just crossed on his mind._

_ "I have nothing great today. School just sucks as usual and my friends go hang out for bowling or something. I really have no mood doing anything except visit you like this." Kendall wiped his tears from his wet cheeks._

_ "Seriously, Shane, I really fucking hate you for everything. We only met for like 2 weeks but look at me you idiot! I waste my days for thinking and crying over you! I talk to a fucking grieve, talking to nothing!" Kendall cried._

_ He took a deep breathe, "I always crying and thinking about you. I hate you Shane…" _

_ Kendall tightened his hug to the guitar and let the tears fell down from the green eyes into the guitar's body, "I finished my song for you yesterday. Do you want to hear?" _

_ He waited for couple of minutes, pretending Shane talked to him, answering his question._

_ Kendall smiled, "Okay, don't laugh but… this is my song for you. I don't know what the title is… just figure it out yourself." _

_I don't remember what we might have said_  
_And I didn't bother to write it down any how_  
_Now all of the memories spun like a web_  
_And I can't get out, get out, get out_

_I gave everything I got not to lose you,_  
_We chose to say goodbye but I choose you_  
_I choose you_

_I keep building walls but you're always on my mind_  
_Won't let them fall down I'm tired can we give up_  
_the art of moving on, on, on._

_It keeps me up all night, all night_

_Feels like I'm stuck here frozen in time_  
_If it wasn't real then I wonder what really is_  
_And if there's a world where you could be mine_  
_Well that's where I'd live, I'd live, I'd live_

_Gave everything not to lose you, not to lose you._

_I keep building walls but you're always on my mind_  
_Won't let them fall down I'm tired can we give up_  
_the art of moving on, on, on._

_(Art of Moving On – Heffron Drive)_

_ Kendall chuckled as he kept wiping his tears away, "Fuck, that's so good right? Do you proud of me?"_

_ He placed the guitar next to him, resting his body and placing right hand under his head. Eyes locking into the clear sky, "Shane, do you hear me?" _

_ "I was thinking all night… I know I do something that you might be not proud of, but hey, this were all your faults, you dickhead!" Kendall closed his eyes and lips pulled into a smile, "I need to move on. I have to let you go." _

_ "This has nothing to do with me loving you or not, but… I want to make you proud. I always remember about your dream, about me singing on the stage with my band." _

_ "I want to make your dream come true, Shane." Kendall sat up, "I promise I will and I won't come back until I make it real." Kendall touched the top of the tomb, placing a kiss on that. _

"Mm… Kendall…" James softly pushed Kendall's body from him, "I have to work." He placed a gentle peck on his lover's pink lips. Lover? James wasn't sure about this relationship he had with Kendall.

The blond slept here. Literally, they only slept in the same bed nothing more. James wasn't ready for sex yet and he wasn't sure whether he wanted it with Kendall or not. That was a big deal for him and Kendall knew it. He appreciated and respected James' decision. Then again, Kendall still need more time to think his feelings. Yes, Kendall couldn't deny he loved being here with James but he still thinking about Shane and his painful flashback.

Kendall groaned, "Don't go," he bend over to kiss James' neck, "You smell so fucking good in the morning."

"Mm…" James nodded, closing his eyes, "I almost late." The brunet locked his fingers on Kendall's messy hair. The blond didn't bother himself to stop his actions but torturing James even more instead. He started to bite and suck James' neck.

"Kendall," James moaned his name in a short breathe, "Please stop or I'll hate you forever."

The blond laughed, he raised his head to see James clearer, "Can you?"

"No," James chuckled, he pulled Kendall's face closer then kissed his lips, "I'll see you this afternoon, 'kay?"

Kendall nodded, "Okay," he kissed the brunet back, "but don't wear your sexy clothes. My friends will turn to be gay too."

James laughed really loud, "You're too much."

"No," Kendall took his shirt from the floor, "You are. You are the Greek God who has the ability to make people love you in one sight."

James raised an eyebrow, "Wow I don't know you admiring me that much, Kendall." he started to do his baby pink shirt's buttons while Kendall just sat on the edge of his bed watching him.

"Uh huh," Kendall smirked.

James walked toward his closet and back with a navy dot tie, "You want to stay here?"

Kendall stood up and walked closer until their toes touched each other, "Nope," he grabbed the tie from James' hand and do that for the brunet, "Can I?" he asked.

James smiled, "Yes."

Never, not even once in his life, Kendall had a thought he would be doing something like this. It's 8 o'clock in the morning and he just woke up in James' bed and seeing the brunet get ready for work. Now he did the brunet's tie.

"It's good," James learned his look on the standing mirror, "You're good at tie."

Kendall smiled, "I'm good at everything."

"No," James disagree, "You're not a morning person. I'm sure you won't wake up if it wasn't me who woke you up."

Kendall shrugged, "You and your bed are perfection." He took his jeans from the couch, "Do you really that late? I mean this only 8 and you are the CEO, it wasn't a big deal if you come a bit late."

James rolled his eyes, "I am a good CEO," he sprayed some perfume over his neck, "but I do have 30 minutes for breakfast. What do you want?"

Kendall smiled, "Good. I'll make sandwich." After that the blond just ran out from James' bedroom leaving James who now laughing.

Camille jumped into Kendall's hug once the petite girl saw Kendall walked in the studio, "I miss you!" she screamed.

Logan and the rest of band members just laughed seeing two best friends hugging each other.

"I miss you too," Kendall placed a soft kiss on Camille's cheek.

Kendall took off his backpack and placed it on the couch. He gave Logan, Dustin and Carlos a paper.

"New song?" Carlos' eyes widened, "Wow… James Diamond makes your brain working really well. Did you realize that you make 3 songs within a week?"

Kendall rolled his eyes, "This has nothing to do with him, 'Los."

"Uh huh," Dustin mocked, "This has something to do with his dick."

Camille laughed so hard, "Oh God! This is hilarious. You and my cousin dating is one of the best things I've ever know."

"Guys," Kendall felt irritating, "First of all, me and him are not dating… yet. We haven't figured it out. Second, this isn't about his dick. Me and him… we're not getting into that part… yet." He sighed.

None say anything.

Kendall cleared his throat, "I don't want to talk about my sexual life with you idiots. Ever,"

Logan chuckled, "Okay…"

"And," Kendall raised his point finger as a sign that he wanted everyone in this room listening to him, "He'll come today after work, I want all of you…" he stared to each of them, "Including you, Camille, to behave. I respect him a lot so…"

Dustin put his hand around Kendall's shoulder, "Chill… we're not a 5 year old boy, Kendall."

Carlos chuckled, "You worry too much."

"Aw…" Camille pinched his stomach, "You two are too darn cute."

Kendall rolled his eyes and walked out from his annoying best friends toward the practice room, "Whatever," he hissed.

The band spent 2 hours of practice before the break. Kendall felt satisfy because his newest song, Happy Mistakes, was way better with the band rather than he played alone with only a guitar.

Carlos was right. James was the one who made his brain working well lately. Kendall didn't know why and how the brunet did that, but he was sure that James inspired him more and more every day.

He checked his phone, there's an email from James Diamond. Kendall had no idea why James chose to email rather than text or call him. Maybe he needs a pre-dating 101 book.

From : James Diamond

To : Kendall Knight

Subject : information

Time : May, 22nd, 2014 03:17:05 PM

Dear Mr. Knight,

The meetings and seminar went faster than I expected. I just got home and in the middle of getting ready to meet my favorite person on his studio right now. I guess I'll see you in 30 minutes.

Sincerely,

James Diamond

CEO of Diamond Enterprise

Holy. Crap.

Even in an email, James was still fucking hot and intimidating.

Kendall rushed to reply the brunet's email,

To : James Diamond

From : Kendall Knight

Subject : sexy email

Time : May, 22nd, 2014 03: 17: 55 PM

Dear Mr. Diamond,

Shit you're sexy as fuck! Come here immediately so I can give you tons of kisses. Take whatever your fastest ridebefore I kiss someone else!

Sincerely,

Kendall Knight

Your Sexy Random Guy

"Holy shit!" that's all Kendall heard from Carlos' mouth. Kendall had no idea what made the Latino couldn't stop staring at the outside but now, he knew.

James.

His fucking lover or whatever!

He wore a pale blue Polo shirt and black jeans that hanging on his waist perfectly. Holy shit, was he a model or something?

Camille was the one who opened the door, "James!" she greeted her cousin, giving the tan and tall guy a warm hug.

"Camille," James greeted her, placed a soft kiss on her cheek, "How are you?" he asked politely.

Logan elbowed Kendall, "He's here." He whispered.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "I have eyes, thanks, Logge."

James looked into everyone in the studio including Carlos who still staring at James' car, "Hi Guys." He greeted them.

Dustin raised his hand awkwardly, "Hi, James."

James nodded, "How's the practice?"

"Great," Logan took the initiative to give James' a warm shook on hand and a hug, "How are you, Dude?"

While James, Logan and Camille talking. Kendall made himself way to the bar, took soda and some snacks.

"Kendall!" Carlos suddenly stood next to him, "Did you know how much his car price is? It's fucking expensive and he just drive it here… holy shit!"

The blond chuckled, "He is James Diamond, Carlos."

"Fuck," Carlos couldn't help himself. The Latino loved about gadget and vehicles and the car that James drove today, Aston Martin Vanquish, was one of his dream cars. So that's why he couldn't get over the amazement.

Kendall touched Carlos' shoulder, "Come on, stop drooling and have conversation with him."

Dustin was joining Logan and James over the conversation when Kendall got there. The brunet turned his head to see Kendall and Kendall sat next to him. As much as Kendall wanted to jump and kiss him, he forced himself to not doing that. It's a stupidity and would be smacking James in the face.

"I actually made a reservation for dinner," James stated, "The bistro pretty close from here."

Carlos nodded in agreement, "Great! Where is it?"

"Bouchon," James answered. He looked to his watch, "We can go now if you guys don't mind…"

Camille stood up, "Yeah, it's almost 7…" she took her hand bag from the couch and signing others to get out from the studio.

Kendall put his hand around James' waist made the brunet shocked, "You doing great."

James felt uncomfortable. It wasn't PDA but he didn't expecting Kendall do something that sign his friends that they're a thing, "Thanks."

"They're my friends," Kendall whispered, "I just hug your waist and that wasn't a big deal. Chill."

James shrugged, "Guess… I'm lack of experiences about this." He smiled.

Kendall chuckled, "Come on!"

The dinner went great and everyone had a good time. Dustin and Carlos finally could break the awkwardness with James and now three of them were like buddy.

"We can surf and have lunch at my home sometime," James smiled, "I'd like to invite all of you to Venice."

"Wow!" Carlos couldn't hide his happiness, "That will be great! How about this weekend?"

James nodded, "Weekend is great," he turned his head to Kendall, "You can asked Jo too."

"She'll loves it," Kendall could imagine Jo's face when she heard this plan, "She's one of your fans."

James' eyebrow raised, "What?"

Camille laughed, "Every girl does,"

"Can you show me your cars?" Carlos asked in a please tone, black eyes staring to James like a child.

James chuckled, "Of course, Carlos."

"Cool!"

"How we get there? We don't know your home." Dustin asked.

Camille shook her head, "I know. Let's take my van!"

While James and his best friends talked about their plan on weekend, Kendall just stared at the brunet. He really glad that James could get along with his friends, even at first there's awkwardness between them, but as time's past, they finally had a real talk as a friend.

"We can drive or…" James turned his head to Kendall, "How about all of you gathered on my office, we can take my Eurocopter."

Carlos' eyes widened even more, Kendall worried it could pass from its place, "Whoa… Can I be your co-pilot?"

James chuckled, found Carlos' excitement as a funny thing, "Of course you're very welcome, Carlos!"

Camille grabbed Kendall's hand under the table, "You mean a lot to him, Kendall, and I'm thank you for that." she smiled, her eyes watery, "I've never seen he's this happy, not even once."

Kendall smiled. Deep in his minds, he felt the familiar feelings, the mixture of worry, guilt and wary. The feelings which he felt fear of broke James' heart for his confusion.

James drove Kendall to his home in Hummingbird Hills. Kendall took off the seatbelt and waiting James did the same thing but yet James didn't do that.

"You won't come in?" Kendall asked.

The brunet shook his head, "No. I'm not ready to tell my colleague that I'm gay and I'm hanging out with her son."

Kendall chuckled, "She's not home."

"Really?" James asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, she stayed at grandma's today."

James shrugged, "Uh… how if your neighbor saw us?"

"Then what?" Kendall opened the door, "Come on, none will see us!"

After a second of thinking, James finally took off the seatbelt and followed Kendall to get into his house. Kendall threw his backpack into the couch and made his way to the kitchen.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Are you always throwing your backpack like that?" James asked in a shock.

Kendall chuckled, "Is that a bad thing?"

"Maybe," James pulled on of the stools, "I never see a 21 year old young man act like a 5 year old boy."

Kendall sat next to him, "You're only 23, James. Stop acting like you're my Dad."

"Alright," James chuckled, "Do you have a red wine?"

"Yeah," Kendall took the sodas from the fridge, "But you already have Pinot Noir at the dinner. I don't want you to get drunk and fuck me tonight."

James laughed, "I never get drunk, Kendall."

"Uh huh because you're super human," Kendall felt sarcastic, "Let's get into my room."

James frowned, "Why?"

"I want you to see my favorite place," Kendall stared at James in a suspicious way, "Do you think I will rape you or something?"

James rolled his eyes, "God Kendall," he groaned, "Stop teasing me! That's really childish!"

Kendall chuckled and pulled the brunet, signing him to follow him to his room and James still mocking next to him.

It's always fun to tease the elder guy.

The blond opened the door, waited on the side and signed James to get in first. James got into his room and looked around, pink lips parting and pulling into a smile.

"I like your room."

Kendall put his hand around James' shoulder, "This is not a luxury room like yours, but here is where all of my dreams come true."

James turned his body, facing Kendall's, "What about your dream with me?"

"I was here when we had our first call, so… yeah, you're one of them." He stepped closer, closing the distance.

James smiled, "Good,"

"What about me?" Kendall asked him back, their lips were closer, "Do I one of your dreams?"

The brunet shook his head, "No."

Kendall felt his heart broke, "What?"

"You're not my dream, Kendall." James cupped the younger male's face, "You are real," One of his hands down to grab Kendall's hand, placing it in James' chest, "This is real."

Kendall's eyes widened.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

"I…" Kendall stuttered, "I don't know what to say James…"

James nodded, "I know. I don't know either."

Kendall brought their lips together in a frenzy moving lovely way. Fuck about what's going between them, both of the males just cared about what they needed and what they had now.

Kendall parked his car on the decent spot at Diamond Global Enterprise building. Once he turned off the car, Jo, Dustin and Carlos got off from the car. Next to his car was Logan's, he and Camille were already here.

"Where's he?" Camille asked.

Kendall pulled out his phone from jeans pocket, "He probably on the roof. Come on." He signed his best friends to follow him.

They were going to Venice today, visited James' house. Based on what Camille said about James never brought anyone to his private home before was more confusing for Kendall. The fact that it was James himself who invited all of Kendall's friends to visit his house was felt so unreal. If he didn't like anyone visited his private home, then why he invited Kendall's friends?

"Maybe because you meant a lot to him." that's what Jo said.

Kendall was really afraid to think about that more because if so, what he supposed to do? Dumping James wasn't a great idea but accepting all his kindness and lovely actions wasn't either.

His phone rang. It's James who called.

"Yeah?" Kendall answered the call.

"Where are you?"

Kendall signed his friends to get into the elevator, "In front of elevator."

"Alright, I'm on the roof with Tom, checking in Euro. See you soon, Kendall Knight."

Damn. Kendall always loves how James saying his name. It always sounds sexier than it supposed to be.

"How many helicopters James have?" Carlos asked.

Camille chuckled, "4. He got his first helicopter when he's 18."

"Wow."

Jo checking her reflection on the mirror, "Does he always do this?"

"Do what?" Camille followed her checking her reflection.

"Invite his lover's friends to his house. I thought it was his private home." Jo applied her pink lip gloss.

"It is," Camille nodded, "Actually, he never asked me to visit his house before but I guess someone just changed him…" she turned to see Kendall.

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Shut up!"

"Come on, Kendall!" Camille punched him, "You better ask him what's going on between you guys. Don't you think this all weird? I mean, you both obviously falling in love each other."

Logan nodded in agreement with his girlfriend, "Yeah. This is weird. You and him always together, kissing and probably fucking but none of you know what's going on."

Dustin put his hand around Kendall's shoulder, "Dude, it's been a month."

Kendall was about to open his mouth to respond but the ring on the elevator stopped him and the doors were opened. Logan walked out first then Camille followed him.

"Good morning, Miss Roberts." Tom greeted her, "Good morning, Sir."

Camille smiled to him, "Good morning, Tom. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you, Miss." Tom smiled, he turned to Kendall, "Good morning, Mr. Knight."

Kendall frowned but he gave the old man a nod, "Good morning."

"Mr. Diamond is waiting for all of you. Please follow me."

Carlos grabbed Camille's hand, "Are you sure Diamond family is not a royal family or something?"

"Of course not," she chuckled, "I've told you, his family is a very formal family."

The Eurocopter was standing greatly in its place and the owner was standing next to him in his blue jeans and white unbuttoned shirt.

"Holy shit Kendall!" Jo whispered, "If he wasn't your potential boyfriend, I would run to him and forget about Shay."

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Geez… just go and jump into his muscular body."

"Can I?"

Kendall glared in disbelief. How dare Jo stabbing him from the back? Otherwise, Jo just laughed, "Chill! I just adored him as a fan. I mean, look at him Kendall… he looks like modeling his clothes, doing a James Bond's photo shoot or something."

James smiled at them, "Hi, everyone."

Tom handing him a small bag, "Here's your bag, Sir."

"Thank you, Tom." he nodded to the assistant, "Tom, please meet my friends."

Tom nodded and bowed his head, "Hello. I'm Tom Peterson, Mr. Diamond's personal assistant. My pleasure to meet everyone,"

Everyone greeted him back.

After a short chit-chat with Tom like introducing each other, the old man excused and each of them got into the Euro. Carlos was more than excited for a fact that he would be James' co-pilot today.

Kendall placed a gentle peck on James' lips before he got into the Euro, "See you in the next hour."

James smiled, "See you soon!"

Kendall nodded then he got into the Euro, his friends already there and staring at him, their face smiling and awing. Kendall pouted, "What?"

Jo chuckled, "You two are cute."

Nothing better than having a great day with your friends and that's how Kendall felt today. He rested his body on the palm tree, dried himself with a towel while his eyes still watching James surfed with Carlos, Logan and Dustin. Jo and Camille on the other side, sunbathing.

"Hey," James walked toward him then take a place to sit next to him, "Tired already?"

Kendall shook his head, "No. It's way more fun to just watch you surfing."

"Come on," James grabbed Kendall's hand, "Let's hit more waves."

"Nope," Kendall shook his head, "I need break," he finally admitted that he was tired.

James smiled, "Not tired my ass… let's take lunch break then we'll go skydiving. How about that?"

"What?" Kendall's eyes widened, "God, hanging out with you make me have more adrenaline rush experiences."

James laughed, "That's fun."

The brunet already hired a chef to cook their lunch. All of them were enjoyed the lunch, they were really hungry after spent 2 or 3 hours playing at the beach. All of them back to James' house.

"Give me your cars' tour!" Carlos squeaked like a 5 year old boy who wants toys.

James nodded, "Sure. Come on, buddy."

Dustin and Logan followed James and Carlos to the brunet's basement where he collected all of his luxury cars and Kendall chose to rest on the couch with Jo and Camille.

"You seemed distracted," Jo stated, "What happened?"

Kendall shook his head, "Nothing."

"Liar," Camille pouted, "You can't tell us a lie, Kendall. We both know."

Jo agreed to her, "Now speak."

Kendall had no choice except to tell the girls everything. "I'm so confuse," he started, "I like hanging out with him. I like how I spend my times with him. James is like addiction."

"But every time I have the great moments with him, Shane always comes back and that's torturing me. It's fucking hurts and I don't know either I really like James or I just like him because he and Shane are too similar."

Jo frowned, she touched Kendall's hand, "They just look alike, Kendall."

"No," Kendall shook his head, he hadn't told her about their similarities, "Not only their face but also their character, their ways to treat me, their hobbies, their…"

Fuck. This was too hard for him to remember all of James and Shane's similarities.

"They both…" he gulped, "They both like spend their mean time at the roof because the feel when it's only him and the sky and the quietness. Their lucky number is 111. They both had a pair of beautiful deep hazel eyes and soft brunet hair. They…" Kendall stopped. He didn't think he could finish this talk.

Camille wiped her tears, "You know… you don't have to finish if it's too hard for you. We understand."

Jo kissed his cheek, "There must be a difference between James and Shane, Kendall. Remember, they are not a same person."

Kendall smiled, "Yeah, thanks guys."

"I'll ask Tom to pick us up so you and James can spend a night here, just both of you. Take this time to talk about your relationship with him." Camille smiled.

Kendall nodded, "Thanks, Cam."

The skydiving plan was failed because the wind was too dangerous so they chose to get back to James' house. Camille already called Tom to pick them and she also told the boys about her plan.

"James," Camille called her cousin while they just got home.

The brunet turned to see her, "Yes?"

"Can I have a second with you?" she signed him to follow her to the kitchen. James nodded then followed her.

Kendall and the others were watching movie on the living room and Camille was sure they couldn't hear them.

"What's wrong, Camille?" James opened the fridge, took a bottle of water to fill him up.

Camille sat on the stool, "What's going on between you and Kendall?"

"What?" James almost choked, "What do you mean?"

"Stop denying, James. I know you love him." Camille grumbled, "I know you want what's on his pants."

James' eyes widened, "That's rude, Miss Roberts"

"You know what I mean."

James sighed, "I… yeah, I like him a lot. Love? I don't know, that's a big deal to love someone."

"And?" Camille waited the next statement.

"And… I don't know. I don't know either we're dating or not but…" James looked really confuse, "I don't know."

Camille smiled, "You know it. Deep in your heart, you know it but you're afraid of rejection. You afraid of how Kendall's feel, you're afraid to what other people think about you and him. You're afraid to how if your parents know that you're gay."

James nodded, "That's right."

"Stop worrying something that hasn't happened and just enjoy the moments you have with him. If you love him then let him know," she gave her cousin a courageous.

James took a deep breathe, "What if… he didn't feel the same with me?"

"You're so fucking idiot if you think like that," Camille mumbled, she didn't realize that she just mocking James Diamond.

"I… uh…" James was speechless.

Camille sighed, "He's into you, James. God, you have too much work until you didn't realize that guy was really into you."

"If so… why he didn't tell me?"

Camille shrugged, "What if he's confused?"

James sighed, "Because I look alike his past?"

"You know about that?" Camille's eyes widened, "He told you?"

James nodded, "He told me that I look alike someone in his past but… who is he? Is he his boyfriend?"

Camille smiled, "This is not my place to tell about that. I called Tom to pick us up, you'll have time with Kendall alone. Tell him, James, so he has courageous to tell you the same."

Kendall sat on the pool side, soaked his feet on the jacuzzi felt the warm up over to his body. James came with a bottle of red wine and glasses.

"Thanks," Kendall accepted one of the glasses, "What is it?"

James showed him a bottle, "One of my favorites, Penfolds Grange 1951."

Kendall took another shoot, "This must be an expensive red wine," he smiled to the brunet who joined him in the Jacuzzi, "You always have the best."

"Thanks," James stared at his glass, "Kendall, I want to ask something."

Kendall nodded, "Ask me everything,"

James wrapped their fingers together, "Who is the guy who looks like me?"

Kendall shocked. He didn't expecting this question would finally questioned by James, not this soon.

"He is Shane Adams. I met him 5 years ago at Los Angeles Children's Hospital when I had atypical depression."

James' eyes widened, "Kendall…"

"I had depression because my Dad was died." Kendall tighter the wrap, "I couldn't help myself because I loved him so much. He and my Mom meant the world to me, and 16 year old Kendall couldn't let him go."

James' hand pulled Kendall's body closer, caressing his back.

"We met at the park. I accidentally crashed him and we both fell on the ground," Kendall learned James' face who now shocked to what he just said, "Yes, same with how we met."

"He had a pair of beautiful deep hazel eyes like yours and both of you have the same soft brunet hair. It surprising me that there's two people who look alike in this world. You and him are not only look alike, both of you are the same person."

"We met every single day. I liked how he always happy and acts like nothing happened while he had the last stage of Leukemia. I only spent a week there and during that week, I… I fall in love with him. I admitted I like him so fucking much four days later, that's why I understand when you said you like me."

James nodded. The brunet didn't cut Kendall off, he gave the blond time.

"My last night stayed at the hospital, I kissed him and told him that I love him because I really did. I loved him so much even though we only together for a week but I do. Although I was back to my home, I always come to the hospital every day only to see him, only to spend my time with him, only to make myself laugh with all his happiness and silliness. It was the greatest times I've ever had until… he died after called me, after told me his birthday wishes. He died on my birthday."

Kendall couldn't help himself. He didn't bother himself to wipe his tears or even stop talking. He just wanted James knew. Now or never.

"I was so shocked and sad that day. I don't even know how to describe my feelings but all I know that… I really hate him for a fact that he left me without good bye, without giving me chances to prepare myself."

James closed his eyes, "You don't have to tell the whole story,"

"I want," Kendall nodded, "I want you to know."

James cupped Kendall's face, "Alright, but… if this is too hard for you, just stop okay?"

Kendall smiled, "I promise. Can I continue?"

"Yes please,"

"Day by day, I felt like a living zombie and hurt people around me. I ignored my Mom, Carlos, Logan, Dustin and Jo. They all tried their best to cheer me up but I just locked myself in my room, crying over Shane. 4 days later, I remembered what Shane told me about I have to learn how to let people go and I realized if I kept acting like that, he would really mad so I cheered up myself, I'm back as a normal person. Hours later, someone knocked the door and that's a package guy. There's a package from Shane Adams for Kendall Knight."

Kendall took a deep breathe, remembering the Shane Adams story made his heart and brain in pain, "It's the guitar, the one that… same with yours."

"Oh God…"

"I have to say that you bring the pain back but you heal it at the same time," Kendall touched James' face, "I know you are not him but with all similarities you both have, it's hard for me to not thinking about him when I'm with you."

James pressed their forehead together, "I know. I understand, Kendall."

"That's why it's so fucking hard for me to figure out how I feel about you. I know I like you so much but…"

James cut Kendall's words with a kiss, the passionate and crazy kiss that they never had before, the kiss which was proved that James didn't hold anymore.

"I love you, Kendall Knight." James whispered between their lips, "I won't go anywhere. I'll be waiting for you to love me back."

Kendall shook his head, eyes still closed, "You don't have to wait because right now, I'm ready to tell you that I love you, James Diamond."


	12. Chapter 12

Kendall opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the beautiful face of James Diamond. He smiled, brain started to replay what was happened last night. He raised his fingers to touch James' lips then leaned his face to kiss his boyfriend.

Boyfriend, fuck! That sounded so good.

They both finally could figure their relationship. All they had to do just be careful because James wasn't ready to tell the world – especially his parents – that he's gay, not yet. Kendall didn't have a problem with that. He didn't care about small thing like that, all he cared just both of them love each other.

"Good morning," James smiled without opened his eyes, his hands pulling Kendall's body closer to his body.

Kendall wrapped his hands on the elder male's body, "Morning," he buried his face on James' collar bones, sniffed the brunet's musk in the morning, "Hm... so good."

"How's your sleep?" James opened his eyes, right hand raised to give a cares on Kendall's head.

"Never been better," Kendall answered, "How's yours?"

James took a deep breath, "For a fact that I slept with my boyfriend, that's a perfect reason to say that I had a great sleep."

Kendall chuckled, "Wow… boyfriend."

"Uh huh," James nodded, "You're my boyfriend, Kendall."

"That's sexy," Kendall kissed James' neck, "Do we have to get up and breakfast or…" he repeated the same thing on the other side of the brunet's neck, "Do something else?"

James closed his eyes, "Such as?"

"This," Kendall kissed James' lips, body rolled into James', pressing their body together, "How 'bout that?"

James laughed, "It's Saturday and I don't have anything to do except you, I guess that's alright."

Kendall raised an eyebrow, "You sure? What happened to 'breakfast is a good way to start a day' thing?"

James sat up, hugging Kendall who now sitting on his laps, "This is my breakfast."

Right on time when James was about to kiss Kendall, his phone rang. He ignored it then kissed his boyfriend, explored every part on Kendall's mouth and the blond closed his was perfect until it ringing back. Still ignoring the phone, James kissed Kendall's jaw line then down to his neck.

"Fuck," Kendall moaned, "James... you're so sexy."

James smiled and sucked on his pulse made Kendall's body tensed. The skinny guy's fingers wrapped on the brunet locks, pulled it softly as he felt his blood heated, "James..." he moaned.

"Yes, Kendall Knight." James still kissing Kendall's neck, down to his collar bones. He could feel his body tensed and something twitched between his thighs, not only him, but Kendall's too. He felt needy.

"Don't you dare to stop," Kendall breathed harshly, "Don't fucking stop!"

James tighten their hug, "Not planning to."

The phone rang again, insisted to get pick up and obviously ruined their moment.

"Can you answer that fucking phone first?" Kendall grumbled, he opened his eyes then jumped from James' laps.

James sighed, "It must be Tom…"

Kendall rested his head on the bed, "Just answer it quickly and do me, James."

James jumped from the bed and walked to the drawer where he placed his phone, "Shut up, Kendall."

The blond just chuckled and buried himself with the blanket.

"Fuck!" James cursed.

Kendall sat up, "What's wrong?"

"This is my Mom," James looked tense, "Don't make any noises or I'll kill you. Hello, Mom?"

Kendall never saw James looked so tense and worry that much.

"What?" James almost yelled, "No… I'm… I just woke up… alright, yeah… see you soon Mom."

James put his phone back on the top of the drawer. He turned to see his boyfriend who now waiting his answer, "I think you need to leave," James exhaled, "My parents will be here in 15 minutes."

Kendall's eyes widened, "Fuck! How can I go home?"

James took a deep breathe, "Take my car," he sat on the edge of the bed, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he kissed Kendall's lips.

Kendall nodded, "You know, I'm right, everything I do with you is an adrenaline rush experience."

Kendall threw himself on his bed. He felt so tired even he just drove for almost 2 hours or so from Venice, then again, he drove the most comfortable car he'd ever tried. He shouldn't be this tired.

"Kendall!" his Mom cried out from the downstairs.

He didn't know his Mom was home, "Yeah?"

"Come here quick!"

With all his energy left, Kendall dragged himself to the downstairs, meeting his Mom who now staring at him in confusion, "What's wrong?"

"How dare you buy new car and not telling me?" she crossed her hands on the chest, the sign that she was a little bit upset.

Kendall frowned, "What?"He had no idea what his Mom talking about.

"Stop acting stupid, Kendall Knight." His Mom grumbled, "I know you buy new Mercedes Benz without telling your mommager."

He almost to crack his Mom statement until he realized which car she was talking about.

Fuck.

What he supposed to say?

"That's… a rental." He lied. That wasn't the best lie, he never lied to his Mom not until he met James Diamond. This had nothing to do with the brunet gives him bad thing but he wasn't sure how to tell her.

What he supposed to say? 'That's my boyfriend's car?'

"Why you need to rental a luxury car? If you want new car then work your ass off. Don't waste money with something that's not worth." His Mom was angry.

Kendall nodded, "I know… sorry."

"You're drunk?"

"What? No!" Kendall shook his head, "Mom, I'm fully sober and wide awake. I'll give it back today don't worry."

His Mom sighed, "Whatever. I'll have lunch with James Diamond today."

"What?"

James didn't say words to him. Why he didn't tell Kendall earlier? Did this was kind of a game?

His Mom nodded, "Actually I'll have lunch with his family and you'll come with me," she insisted.

Kendall shook his head immediately, "Why? Fuck, No!"

"Yes. Kendall, I never ask you anything. I just asked you to accompany me for lunch with my clients, what's the big deal?"

James' family was the big deal.

"Okay," Kendall sighed, "I think I'll go to the rental first then buy something decent for your lunch."

His Mom smiled, felt satisfy, "Good. Make sure you're home before 11."

"Why you didn't tell me?" Kendall spurted out on the phone. He was on the way to James' apartment to give his car back.

_"I don't know until my parents got here. I'm on my way to Los Angeles now." _

Kendall sighed, "Alright. I'll wait on the coffee shop in front of your apartment."

_"Sure. See you soon, Kendall." _

He smiled, "See you soon, James."

_"You won't hang up, will you?" _

Kendall chuckled, "Hell no,"

_ "Neither do I. Let's put it on speaker so we can drive safely." _

"You drive?"

_"Yes. I'm on my car right now." _

Kendall chuckled, "I'm on your car too."

_"You can have it if you want, Kendall."_

As much as Kendall wanted this luxury car, he couldn't just accept it from his new boyfriend. No, Kendall wasn't a bitch, "No, thank you. I love my car."

_"Alright," _

"James,"

_"Yeah?" _

"What am I supposed to wear to meet your parents?"

Kendall could hear the brunet chuckled, _"Kendall, wear everything you like. This is not a royal lunch. You're fine with everything." _

"I mean… I'm going to meet your parents."

_"Uh huh and in this case, you'll meet them as your Mom's company not my boyfriend. You'll be fine." _

Kendall sighed, "Guess I need to endure much during that lunch."

_"Why? Do you hate my parents?" _

"No. How can I hate them when I never meet them before?"

_"Then what?" _

He pulled the car off the road, parked it on the empty parking lot, "I'll be sitting on the same table with you and yet we can't talk like we usual."

James chuckled, he must be thinking that Kendall was really childish right now,_ "We can talk, just be careful don't slip out to call me sexy."_

Kendall laughed, "You're such a badass!"

_"And you love it." _

"Fuck," Kendall smiled, felt the shy for himself, "I do."

_"Hey Kendall," _

Kendall rested his chin on the wheel, "Yeah?"

_ "I love you." _

He smiled. He almost could picturing how James said that, how his deep hazel eyes looking at him, how his pink lips pulling into a smile, how his voice was so deep and meant it, "I love you, James."

It's been 10 times Kendall checked himself on the standing mirror. He wore black jeans and navy button shirt, the best clothes he had. His Mom already in her white blouse and her hair was blow out. She looked really pretty and decent in her age.

They both headed to the bistro at The Diamond hotel. Kendall felt his heart couldn't stop thumping and jumping like crazy. He was going to meet his boyfriend's parents. They stepped on the bistro's doors. From this distance, he could see James was already there, sitting with a beautiful middle age lady and a late 50's guy.

James was fucking hot in black shirt and blue jeans. Why he did this to Kendall? Why he had to be so fucking hot anyway?

"Mrs. Knight!" James' Mom greeted them first.

James gave his best smile to them, looking Kendall from the hair until toes and gave him a soft nod as he agreed to Kendall's choice.

"Mr. Diamond, Mrs. Diamond, this is my son, Kendall Knight." His Mom introduced him to the Diamond family.

James' Mom was really beautiful. Her brunette hair was as pretty as her face, soft and short down on her shoulder. Now Kendall knew where James had the face, "Hi, I'm Brooke Diamond. Nice to meet you."

"Kendall Knight, pleasure is mine." Kendall shook Brooke's hand.

"Arthur Diamond,"

James smiled, he kissed Kendall's Mom's back of the hand, "Nice to meet you again, Mrs. Knight. You look really beautiful today."

Kendall's eyes widened as he saw his Mom blushed. WHAT THE FUCK JAMES DIAMOND DID TO HIS MOM?

"You're a truly gentleman, James. Thank you so much,"

James nodded, he looked to Kendall, "Kendall Knight." he greeted formally.

If Kendall had ability to make a storm or tornado comes, he would. He would put it on his boyfriend's head, "Mr. Diamond."

After introducing each other, all of them sat. Kendall sat next to his Mom, right in front of James. The brunet couldn't stop smiling.

"So, Mr. Knight, what do you do? Are you still in college?" Brooke started to make conversation with him.

Kendall shook his head, "I'm in a band."

"Band?" that's Arthur.

"Yes. It called Heffron Drive and… I love it. That's like the coolest job ever." Kendall felt satisfy with his answer.

Arthur gave him a nod, "I had a band when I was on high school. I like young man with a good spirit. Keep it up, Mr. Knight."

James stared at him as he said 'see, there's nothing to worry about' thing.

"Thank you, Sir."

The conversation leaded to the business talk between parents. James didn't say words and just enjoyed his meal and neither Kendall.

Kendall turned his head to see Arthur Diamond. He didn't believe this guy was not doing anything to teach his only son while here, what Kendall saw was the great guy. He looked like how a father should be. He looked really decent for being a Dad.

Then again, he looked like the older version of James and Shane.

Wait!

Kendall found something interesting in Arthur's face. Was it… but how could?

_ "How did you get this scar?" Kendall touched Shane's left cheek. There's a white thin line on it, almost invisible._

_ Shane shook his head, "This is not a scar. This is a birthmark." _

_ "Birthmark?" _

_ "Yeah," the brunet nodded, "My Mom said me and my Dad have the same birthmark," _

_ Kendall nodded, "I don't have any birthmark. I wish I have, that's cool… especially when you have matching birthmark with your parents." _

_ Shane chuckled, "It is not that cool. What's the point of having the same birthmark with your parent when they just dumped you?" _

Kendall gasped with the flashback that just hinted his head. This couldn't be happening. He turned his head to see James, the brunet still talking with his Mom. No, James' face was had no birthmark.

Why Arthur Diamond and Shane Adams had the same birthmark?

It's been 4 days Kendall didn't see James because the brunet was so busy and been in Tokyo for those days. They didn't have the Skype video call either, only a short text whenever the brunet had time.

During those days, Kendall couldn't stop thinking about the matching birthmark that Shane and James' Dad 's a big question haunted him and the same flashback repeat all over again even in his sleep.

Why Arthur and Shane had the same birthmark when they weren't relative at all?

Kendall just finished his lunch. He brought the dirty plate and cup to the sink then left it there. He had band practice before this Saturday they would perform at Universal Citywalk Los Angeles.

He packed everything he might be needed into his backpack. He pulled out the dirty clothes from the other day on Venice, not sure why it was still there and threw it to the dirty clothes basket. He usually threw it perfectly but now it made something fell down to the floor.

Lazily, Kendall walked to check what was fall. It was his hospital book and a picture of him and Shane. He smiled to how Shane was really handsome in this picture. Kendall remembered the day when they took this picture. It was 2 days before Shane died.

_ "Let's take a picture!" Kendall opened his backpack to get his Polaroid camera which he brought from home._

_ Shane frowned, "I just had my chemo today, Kendall. Do I look good for picture?" his fingers running on the brunet hair that fall down on his forehead, "Can we take it tomorrow after I wash my hair?" _

_ Kendall cupped Shane's face, "You always look good, Shane." _

_ "If you say so," Shane shrugged. He zipped his jacket until chest then put his hand around Kendall's shoulder, "Just one picture." _

_ "Why?" _

_ Shane shrugged, "Please, I'm not in a mood for picture. Sorry." _

_ Kendall frowned, "Alright… only if you promise you'll give me your best face." _

_ "You're the one who said I always have the good look," Shane grumbled, "Now take it." _

Kendall sighed. He didn't think he would be able to see this picture without crying. It's been years he hid it on the hospital book, hoping he could forget that he had that painful picture.

_ "I don't understand how someone could dump his own flesh?" Kendall frowned. He sat next to Shane under the Eek tree, eyes kept watching Shane who still drawing on the drawing book._

_ Shane chuckled, "Yes you can if you didn't want that flesh." _

_ "What do you mean?" _

_ The brunet stop drawing, he turned to see Kendall, eyes staring at the green eyes, "I was a mistake, Kendall. My Dad was my Mom's boss and… they had an affair on the office. She's a bitch." _

_ "Shane!" Kendall frowned, "Don't say that." _

_ "That's true. She told me that it was all her fault to make me suffer in this world with cancer. I wouldn't be here if she didn't have a one night stand with her boss on her fertile time. She told him that she's pregnant and he didn't believe her, told her that wasn't his baby. Yes, my Mom is a bitch but… she never had a one night stand before. That's only him. The reason why she's a bitch because her boss is 20 years older than her and he has family, he has a wife and 2 year old son." _

_ Kendall wiped his tears, "Stop it, Shane!"_

_ "She resigned from his office then hid on the apartment, do another job. Tried her best to not see him or even worse, see their happy family when she couldn't get her own. 2 weeks after I was born, she accidentally met his wife. She recognized her because my Mom is her husband's secretary and they knew each other. Since then, my Mom decided to move from New York to Los Angeles." _

_ "I was born in New York but raised in Los Angeles. Cool, isn't it?" Shane grinned wider, showing his perfect teeth._

_ Kendall had no idea how Shane could through this. He never met his paternal Dad. He had cancer, his Mom seemed not really pay attention to him but he still happy and cheerful. _

_ He must be an Angel. _

Kendall and his band mates were ready on the Citywalk backstage. After the Cabs' performance ended, it was Heffron Drive's turns to heat up the stage.

_**"HEFFRON DRIVE!"**_

He ran up to the stage and grabbed the microphone. He could see thousands people were standing, jumping, raising their hands, screaming, only for him and his band. The feeling that always makes him proud to what he'd been doing.

"Good evening, Citywalk!" he greeted the audience.

The band started to play their first song, the new song from their coming soon album, "This song is called Feels So Good."

Kendall picked his guitar and sang while eyes staring to the audience down the stage, the girls screaming and smiling to him, singing along with him. He could see Jo and Camille were on the front line, enjoying the music as well as the others. He smiled and waved at them.

Then there he was.

3 people behind Camille and Jo, the familiar handsome guy standing in the crowd watching him. He didn't wear anything to cover his face, yet he smiling and singing along with him. Tall and muscular body covered with white shirt.

James was here.

He was here in the middle of the crowd.

He was coming during the shitty schedule of him, during the busyness being a CEO.

He was here only to see Kendall.

Kendall almost stopped singing but gladly, his brains still working well. As much as he wanted to jump from the stage to James, he finished the first song perfectly and the crowd loved it.

Dustin took over the microphone to greet the audience while Kendall took a bottle of mineral water, filling him up with the great amount of fresh water. Was he really here? Kendall standing back next to Logan, eyes searched the figure he wanted to see.

He was really here. James waved his hand to Kendall, lips smiling and eyes locking into Kendall.

Fuck!

Kendall waved at him back then started to sing the second song with the new spirit. The fact that James was here to see him perform, standing in the middle of the crowd, was made Kendall knew what was his reason to love the brunet even more.

James lifted Kendall's body into his laps, hands wrapped around the blond's torso closing the distance between them. Both males didn't bother to open their eyes, enjoying the hot and passionate kiss that they've been missing.

"Fuck," Kendall broke their kiss, "You surprised me!"

James chuckled, "Do you like it?"

"No, I love it!" Kendall took off his tank top and threw it whenever, both hands hugging James' neck, "This is… God! I can't say words."

James pecked his lips, "Then don't…" he kissed Kendall's neck all the way down to his collar bones, "Mm… you smell so good."

Kendall closed his eyes, enjoyed the heavenly pleasure that James gave him, "That's my sweat that you're talking about."

"I don't care." James still doing his action by gave the marks on between Kendall's collar bones and made the blond moaned his name.

Kendall rested his chin on James' head, "I thought you're still in Tokyo."

"I was… I just got back 4 hours ago." James answered, he raised his head, "I miss you."

Kendall bowed, "I miss you more," he placed a kiss on James' forehead, "You look tired. Should you have a rest?"

James shrugged, "What do you think?"

Kendall pushed James body to lying on the bed then bent over the muscular and tan body, "Give me 5 more minutes?" His hands started to undo James' shirt buttons. He kissed James' pink lips and the brunet parted his lips giving him an entrance to get in, to explore every part on his mouth, to pleasure his boyfriend.

"You taste so good," Kendall bit James' lower lips softly, "You taste heavenly like Jo's red velvet cupcake."

James chuckled, "Come here," their body facing each other, eyes locking and fingers wrapping, "I really miss you. Do you know it?"

Kendall smiled, "I know," he moved closer, their bare chest touching each other. He leaned his head on James' neck, sniffing the natural musk of the elder guy, "You're so tempting." he whispered.

James let out a deep breath, "I want you."

Kendall raised his head, "What?" he couldn't believe to what his ears just heard. Did James say he wants him? Want him in that way?

The pair of hazel eyes staring at Kendall's eyes intensely, "I said, I want you, Kendall."

Holy shit!

"James," Kendall felt so nervous, "Are you sure?"

The brunet didn't give him an answer but kissed Kendall's lips in a way that the blond never thought it would happen. James rolled his body, on top of Kendall's body without breaking the kiss. Kendall's hands moved to James' lower back to move his pelvis closer, thrusting their hips for allowing James to feel how bad Kendall wanted this. Every time they had frenzy kiss, Kendall wants - not, needs him. He needed to James fill him up. He needed the brunet inside him.

James let out a soft gasp. He opened his eyes to see Kendall who now staring at him, waiting for the brunet do him more.

"Fuck," James chuckled. He never thought he would think about this. Never thought he would feel something like this.

Kendall woke his body half sitting, "Please do."

James looked so nervous. The Great Young CEO like James Diamond felt nervous in front of Kendall? This was beyond of Kendall's imagination.

The brunet reconnecting their lips without a doubt. Lips slotted together, hips ground against each other, harsh breathing and low moans filled the air in the room. James' hands went to Kendall's hips, undo his jeans zipper then pulled it out from his long skinny legs and yet Kendall did the same before their lips reconnected.

Kendall broke their kiss, opened his eyes to see James. The brunet stared at him back, there's a need, nervous and confuse in his face. The younger male nodded as he signed him that he's ready for James.

James gulped, "Tell me if I hurt you or..."

"I will." Kendall answered in convinving tone.

James leaned forward, pressing all his body weight on the skinny guy and pushing him back against the bed, settling between his legs.

Kendall needed this more than anything and he knew, James felt the same. His body was so tense and relaxed at the same time. His mind blown every time he felt James inside him. The moment that once again, beyond his imagination.

"Fuck, Kendall!" James groaned. He pushed harder.

The blond couldn't find any better words than moaned his boyfriend's name. The brunet must be lying about he never did this before. If so, who the hell was this? After Greek God, Surf God, now James was also a Sex God?

It felt so good.

So fucking good!

They both collapsed at the same time they came out. James rested his body next to Kendall and the blond moved his body to face his boyfriend.

"Are you okay?" James asked in concerns, "I feel like... I'm going too rough."

Kendall shook his head, "No, that's the best sex I've ever had, Mr. Diamond."

"God!" James stared up the ceilling, "That's mind blowing."

Kendall gave a peck on James' nose tip, "The best," he added, "You must be tired. Go get some rest. I'll be here until you sleep."

"Mm…" James nodded, "I want you still here when I wake up."

"Then I have to lie to my Mom." Kendall smirked, "I can't just tell her that I sleep with James Diamond." he gave the bold tone on sleep.

The brunet chuckled, "Don't. She could dismiss our deal."

"Just sleep, James," Kendall whispered, "I'll be here for whatever you want."

"Sing for me." James closed his eyes, leaned his head into Kendall's bare chest, "Sing for me until I sleep, Kendall."

Kendall rested his head on James' head, "What song do you want to hear?"

"Anything,"

_Take me out tonight_  
_Where there's music and there's people_  
_Who are young and alive_  
_Driving in your car_  
_I never never want to go home_  
_Because I haven't got one anymore_

_Take me out tonight_  
_Because I want to see people_  
_And I want to see life_  
_Driving in your car_  
_Oh please don't drop me home_  
_Because it's not my home, it's their home_  
_And I'm welcome no more_

_And if a double-decker bus_  
_Crashes in to us_  
_To die by your side_  
_Is such a heavenly way to die_  
_And if a ten ton truck_  
_Kills the both of us_  
_To die by your side_  
_Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine_

_Take me out tonight_  
_Take me anywhere, I don't care_  
_I don't care, I don't care_  
_And in the darkened underpass_  
_I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last_  
_But then a strange fear gripped me_  
_And I just couldn't ask_

_Take me out tonight_  
_Oh take me anywhere, I don't care_  
_I don't care, I don't care_  
_Driving in your car_  
_I never never want to go home_  
_Because I haven't got one_  
_No, I haven't got one_

_And if a double-decker bus_  
_Crashes in to us_  
_To die by your side_  
_Is such a heavenly way to die_  
_And if a ten ton truck_  
_Kills the both of us_  
_To die by your side_  
_Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine_

_Oh, there is a light and it never goes out_

(The Smith - There is a Light and It Never Goes Out)

Kendall looked down to check the brunet, instead of closing his eyes, James was wide awake, "What's going on in here?" Kendall caressed the brunet head.

James smiled, "Do you know one of my reasons why I don't do dating thing before?"

"No,"

The brunet seemed didn't wait Kendall to answer, "Because I don't want to break a heart. I hate seeing people that I love crying because something that people called love."

Kendall tighter their wrap, "You won't hurt anyone, James."

"And I don't want to have my heart broken too, Kendall." he raised his head to see Kendall, "I try my best to not falling in love to anyone until you came."

"James…"

"I trust you," the brunet took a deep breathe, "I know you won't hurt me and neither do I."

Kendall smiled, head banging from the pain and the familiar feelings he had. He wanted to promise the brunet the same thing but part of him didn't want to. He knew James didn't have an ability to break his heart but Kendall had. He still haunted by Shane's shadow and that could be the chance where the blond broke James' heart.

"I saw my Mom cried so bad one day when I was 18… she's in pain. She cried alone in his room and I just got back from campus. It hurt my heart to see her crying like that." James wrapped their fingers tighter.

Kendall frowned, "What happened?"

"I didn't know that day but seeing her like that made me wanted to know. A week or so I did my research, the reason why Brooke Diamond, the strongest woman I've ever know could cry like that. Unfortunately… the reason was my Dad himself."

Kendall felt his body tensed. This couldn't be happening. Please, don't!

"Long time ago, he cheated on my Mom with his late assistant and I heard they had a child, maybe the child in the same age with me or younger than me, I don't know." James smirked, "My Mom loves him so much and that's why I don't believe what love serves us unless it was a pain."

Kendall didn't realize his tears started to fall down. The puzzle in his head started to match each other.

God, what he supposed to do?


	13. Chapter 13

"Kendall!"

Heard his name being called, Kendall turned his head and saw Jo frowned at him, "What?"

"I've call you for like thousand times and you just ignored me. What's wrong?" Jo protested.

They were at the bistro, had a lunch break together before Kendall had to perform on a talk show with the band and Jo had to shoot her new beauty video. They both were very busy lately, not only them, but also Camille who were in New York doing the new music festival project.

"Sorry. I have something on my mind." Kendall apologized, knowing he shouldn't have acting like this in front of Jo after 2 weeks didn't see her.

Jo learned his face, "What's that?"

"Nothing," Kendall shook his head. He hid his face from the Jo Taylor's glaze.

Jo rolled her eyes, "I know you've been thinking about something. What's that?"

"Is this about James? Do you still confuse about your feelings?" Jo guessed. She pulled her soft blonde hair into a messy ponytail.

Kendall nodded, "Yes and no,"

"Huh?" Jo frowned, "You better talk instead of make me confuse."

Actually Kendall had no idea how to tell someone about his odd theory, "I think…" Kendall sighed, this was too hard for him to speak his craziness, "I have a crazy theory."

She crossed her hands on her chest, "What is that?"

"And this is about…" Kendall looked into Jo's blue eyes, "about Shane and James. I think they related to each other."

Jo sighed. She was annoyed about this topic, "We've talked about this, Ken. As much as I love you, I can't stand about this anymore, okay?" her eyes gazing into the green eyes, "They are not the same person." She stated.

"I know but… listen," Kendall grabbed her hand, trying to convince her, "Shane was born in New York, his Mom was single parent and… he told me that he was a mistake, he was the result from his Mom's affair with her boss."

Jo frowned, "Why it has something to do with James?"

"James is 2 years older than me and Shane. He was born and raised in New York because his Dad builds their company there. James just told me… his Dad once cheated on his Mom with his assistant and had a kid."

Jo gasped, "Oh my God!" she must be knew what Kendall was going to say next. Her face told everything.

Kendall continued, "I met Arthur Diamond week ago. I saw a white thin line on his left cheekbone and that's the exact same birthmark that Shane had. He told me that he had the same birthmark with his Dad."

"God!" Jo closed her mouth, "So, you think James is Shane's brother?"

Kendall nodded. As much as he didn't want to believe to his crazy theory, he had to. There's so much stories matched each other and he couldn't deny it.

"Yes. James Diamond is a brother to Shane Adams."

James rested his chin on his palm, eyes locking into Kendall who still eating his pudding. Both of them were on one of Kendall's favorite Italian Restaurant, having lunch date. The brunet was just got back after spent a week in Asia for meetings and planning the company's newest housing complex and hotels

"I'll take the early day off," James stated, hand pulled the glass of wine closer to him, "I'll be free from Thursday,"

Kendall stopped eating pudding and looked at him in a suspicious way, "Why the sudden?"

The brunet leaned his back to the chair, relaxing his body, "I'm tired and I'm the CEO. I can take my day off whenever I want, right?" James chuckled, "Let's have vacation."

Kendall frowned and shook his head, "I can't. I still have schedules on Friday."

James frowned, "Is this retaliation?"

Kendall laughed, "Of course not, I'll come to Venice on Saturday."

"Cool," James nodded in agreement, "How's the album going?"

Kendall explained to his boyfriend how the album's progress. It almost finish, just needed the final touching. James was sitting there, listening to how Kendall got so excited about his band's first album with 10 new songs and 2 old songs from their EP.

"Why the album called Happy Mistakes?" James asked as he's the interviewer.

Kendall smiled, this question has been questioned million times and he always feels the excitement to explain all over again, "Sometimes, we just did the mistakes on purpose you know to challenge ourselves, to see how long we can deal with the pain of mistakes and I think none of us should have a regret for all the mistakes we've made. Mistakes bring so much memories either it is a painful one or happy one but in the end, we all laugh to those mistakes so why not to call it happy mistakes?"

James took a deep breathe, "Am I one of your happy mistakes?"

"Yes," Kendall chuckled, "If I didn't crash your jogging time and made you fell to the ground, you wouldn't see me, you wouldn't like me at the first sight and I wouldn't know that you exist in this world."

"That's the most beautiful mistake that I've ever heard, Kendall Knight." James smiled.

Kendall chuckled, "Thanks. Anyway," he took off his phone, looking at the screen, "Don't you have TV interview?"

James sighed, "Yeah, in an hour… Where are you going?" he asked in low voice. His hands were tucked into his pocket to make sure his car key was there.

"Jo's apartment," Kendall cleaned his mouth with paper towel, drank the water before finally stood up, "The show is live, right?"

James nodded, "Yes. Will you watch it?"

"I don't know…" Kendall shrugged, "I prefer to take a nap on Jo's pink bed."

James rolled his eyes, "Maybe you should date her bed instead of me."

Kendall chuckled, "I will."

Both of them made their way outside, James buttoned his suit and wore his sun glasses and Kendall didn't do anything except walking next to James. He heard someone called his name and he turned to see it, it was a group of teenagers, screaming his name and waving at him. They're their fans and he loved them.

"I LOVE YOU KENDALL!"

He waved back at them, "I love you too!" he yelled back and those girls started to scream crazier than before. Kendall once again waving at them then followed James who walking first far in front of him.

James smiled, "Your fans?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded, "Bye, James. I'll see you on TV."

The brunet chuckled, "Very funny. Drive safely, Kendall." He gave his boyfriend a soft nod then walked to his Mercedes Benz and Kendall walked the other way to his BMW.

_**"Please welcome, James Diamond!"**_

Jo louder the volume, "Kendall!" she called her best friend. Kendall rushed from the bathroom with Jo's pink towel in his hand, jumped into her red couch and joined her watching TV.

James was hotter and sexier even more on TV. He still wearing the same suit he had on their lunch but holy shit, was he really Kendall's boyfriend?

"Oh God," Jo gasped, "Seeing him in a gray suit makes me think about Christian Grey even more!"

Kendall frowned, had no idea to what she's talking about, "Who is Christian Grey and why you and Camille always compare him with James?"

Jo didn't give him an answer but a chuckle instead. Kendall didn't ask her anymore but kept watching his boyfriend who now started to talk about his business which grew bigger and bigger every day.

This guy was the richest guy under 25.

"Kendall," Jo turned her head to Kendall, "Have you talked about your theory with him?"

"No," Kendall shook his head, "I don't have the strongest prove and… I don't know how to tell him."

Jo frowned, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I know you're hurt too, Kendall. The fact that… your past, Shane, is related to your boyfriend now… and… you still feeling the Shane's shadow haunted you."

Kendall nodded, "Yeah, because they're too similar and I can't deny it."

The conversation between two best friends stopped because the voice of James from the TV invited them.

_"Of course I go on date and having fun. Business or company isn't the only one that always on my mind. I'm a perfectionist and I hate to putting off my job but if there's a time to have fun, then why not?" _

_"Who's the lucky girl?" _

Kendall smiled wryly.

_"I'm not dating anyone right now but if I do, I'll keep it as privacy." _

_"She must be a very special girl."_ The interviewer insisted. James smiled and gave her a nod.

_"I won't be dating the person who isn't special. Special as… this person has something to do like passion and the will to achieve it. I like the person who put so much effort for their life, for something they want in their life."_

_"We found a picture that you came into a Citywalk and saw you and a girl," _

James frowned, _"Which picture exactly?" _

Kendall felt his heart beating fast, Jo turned to him, "Did he come with a girl?"

"No," Kendall shook his head, "It could be you." he could hear Jo gasping and freaking out next to him.

The TV showed the picture that the interviewer talking about. James standing elegantly in white V-neck shirt and blue jeans and wore his Aviator while talking to a brunet girl, Camille Roberts.

Jo laughed so hard.

_"She's my cousin. Camille Roberts,"_ James chuckled, _"She's really an amazing girl and I adore her so much. She put her effort for what she's been doing, as you know, she is a main EO for mostly music festivals in LA." _

Kendall laughed, "Gossips are so funny." He turned his head to see why Jo didn't laugh anymore.

The blonde girl staring at her phone, her face was so pale like she just saw a ghost, "Oh, God… Kendall…" she handed him her phone.

Kendall looked over Jo's phone and shocked to what it showed him first, news from Twitter.

**BREAKING NEWS: THE SUCCESSFUL YOUNG CEO, JAMES DIAMOND CAUGHT GOING LUNCH WITH BOYFRIEND. FULL STORY HERE!**

He clicked the link and there it was, the full size pictures of him and James leaving the Italian restaurant including to the picture where James' hand on Kendall's waist and Kendall turned his head to his back, seeing camera.

Fuck!

He remembered it was when he heard someone called his name, the fans! Was James put his hand around his waist? Kendall wasn't sure and he didn't remember either.

Jo stared at him and the TV back and forth, "What are you gonna do?"

Arthur Diamond landed a harsh and hard slap on his son's cheek. James could feel his lips bleeding and his cheek burned.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Arthur yelled.

James just bowed his head, had no energy left to raise his head only to see his angry Dad. The pain on his face was nothing compare to what he felt inside.

The James Diamond's gay rumors just started. It was being talked in any news, gossips and magazine. The worst was people knew who Kendall was because he's a public figure too. He's the vocalist from rising indie band. The CEO dating the indie band's vocalist was a good headline for news everywhere.

"You are nothing but a disappointment." Arthur turned his back, didn't want to see his own son.

James just said nothing. What he supposed to say?

Another slap landed on his other cheek and he just stand still until his Dad dismissed.

Brooke wiped her tears, "James," she called his name.

James raised his head, "Yes, Mom."

"Are you okay?" she asked in a soft tone, thumb ran over James' lips edges to wipe the blood, "You should have to tell me."

James smiled, "So you can accept me for whoever I am?"

"No," Brooke shook her head, "I'm not disappointed but… we have a big hope for you, James. We hope that you can continue your Dad's hard works with your family."

James nodded, "Understood,"

"You're not," Brooke touched her son's red cheek, "You won't understand because you won't have your own kid with him."

James smirked, "Thank you, Mother. Now, if you don't have anything to say, excuse me."

He walked out without giving the final look to his Mom, ignoring how many times his Mom called out his name.

"Sir, there's phone call…" Tom tried to walk next to him.

James shook his head, "Not this time, Tom." he ignored the assistant and got into his car then without any doubts, he drove the car leaving his parents' house.

Kendall ate his dinner in silence. He didn't have a bravery to look to his Mom's eyes which never let his sight off.

"Don't you need something to explain?" his Mom finally spoke.

Kendall placed the spoon off, "What do you want me to explain?"

"Things like James Diamond maybe…"

Kendall cleared his throat, "Uh… yeah… I've been dating him for like 2 months now."

"Behind my back?"

"Yes, behind your back, Mom."

His Mom nodded, "I never thought about that. I don't know you have high taste, Kendall."

"What that supposed to mean?" Kendall annoyed. Why his Mom had to act like a bitch sometime?

She laughed, "Why you both didn't tell me? I'm not the one who didn't know about your sexuality, right? I knew it from the first time."

Kendall nodded, "Yeah. I know you won't have any problems with this but… James thinks… that's not appropriate to…"

"To wants what's on my son's pants?" she completed Kendall's statement.

"Mom!"

She laughed loudly, "Chill… God! James and you… wow Kendall…"

"Stop it!" Kendall rolled his eyes.

His Mom grabbed his hand, "I'm happy for you, either if it is James or not. Whoever the guy is, I'll be happy for you."

"Thanks, Mom."

"How about James?" she asked carefully, "I don't think Arthur and Brooke can accept their sole heir's sexuality, right?"

Kendall nodded, "That's why he didn't want to come out yet."

"Uh… I saw an old picture of yours week ago," she frowned, "I saw you and a boy in the hospital. He looked like James."

Shane.

"I know that boy was the one who you loved 5 years ago," his Mom caressed his back of the hand, "What I want to say is… I hope you love James not because he looks like your past. They're different person."

Kendall gulped, "Yes but they are relative…"

"What?"

Kendall took a deep breathe. The pain in his heart always comes every time he remembers this theory, "James Diamond is a brother to Shane, Mom. They're brother from another mother."

James threw his body to his bed without bothering himself to open his shoes and suit first. The pain in his head and face still there and yet he didn't do anything for it.

He visited his parents' house to get some company's files on his Dad's office but he found a file that broke his heart, a birth certificate. That wasn't his, it was Shane Adams. Later on, he got slaps from his Dad because he's gay and now the world knew it.

James sat on the floor, head banging and heart pounding. Could be this Shane Adams was the same person with Kendall's?

He tucked into his suit pocket, pulled the paper that has been folded in rush.

** Shane Brandon Adams **

** September, 4th, 1992 **

James chuckled in sadness. How could they have the same birthday? How could his father was there, made Shane's birth certificate while 2 year old James waiting for him at home to celebrate his birthday?

The daydream broke by the sound from James' phone. With all his energy left, James stood up and walked toward his work table where he put his phone.

It's Kendall.

James stared at his phone blankly, doubting whether he had to answer the phone or not.

It went off. Seconds later, it rang back insisted to get pick up.

James closed his eyes. He wasn't ready to hear Kendall's voice yet wasn't ready for telling the truth. He wasn't ready to break his boyfriend's heart. This was hurt much to him, and would hurt Kendall more.

Once again, it went off.

He placed the phone above the table, eyes locking into it, anticipating that his boyfriend called again.

The blond didn't give him another call but an angry text,

**OPEN THE DOOR**

James' eyes widened. He couldn't just let the blond waiting for him behind his door but he wasn't sure how to tell him.

Kendall was really there. He looked worry and sad at the same time, "James," he called his name in a soft breathe liked the brunet was something that really fragile.

James forced his lips to make a smile, but that's too painful, "Kendall…"

"What happened?" Kendall rushed his thumb to James' lips, "Who did this?"

James pulled the blond into his hug, "It doesn't matter." He buried his face on the younger male's neck.

Kendall caressed James' back, "I was worried about you the whole time. You didn't call or text me back the whole day."

"I know… I'm sorry." James kissed Kendall's cheek, "You must be heard the rumors."

Kendall nodded, "Everyone knows I'm gay since the first time, that's not a big deal for me but it is for you…"

James nodded, "Yes, you're right. That's a big deal for me…"

"What happened?" Kendall squeezed James' shoulders, "Just tell, James."

James staring at the green eyed male, "I need to tell you something, Kendall, the truth that might be hurting you."

Kendall could feel his heart stop beating, "Tell me what?"

Instead of answering Kendall's question, James went to the other side of his apartment and back second later with a paper. Kendall took the paper from him and read it. His eyes wider as he read the paper, lips parted, shock face.

"I found it on my Dad's office this afternoon." James said in a low tone.

Kendall raised his head, "Wh… what?"

"I'm sorry, Kendall. I have to tell you this, I'm… I… and Shane were brothers from the same paternal Dad." James gulped.

Kendall threw the paper and pulled James into a hug, "I'm sorry, James."

"This is not your fault," James caressed the blond's locks.

Kendall nodded, "I know this since you told me about your family. I… Shane told me about his life and it made a puzzle in my brain. I thought it was just my crazy theory but that's the truth."

James released the hug, "And you didn't tell me?"

"I don't know how to say it…" Kendall cried, "I know it will hurt you as much as it hurts me."

"This might be painful but this is not your fault, not mine, not Shane's." James wiped the tears away from Kendall's cheek.

Kendall smiled wryly, "Does life needs to be this hard?"

"I don't know," James sighed, "I don't know, Kendall."

Life was already hard for them. For Kendall Knight, the fact that he loved the brothers, both of them, was too hard to deny. He loved Shane Adams as much as he loved James Diamond, but loving James Diamond was a mistake. He brought the brunet to the biggest problem.

For James Diamond, the fact that he fell in love to a guy named Kendall Knight was a surprise. He never believe in thing called love before, not until he met the blond guy. Kendall took him to the other side of his perfect life, the experience that he might never had with anyone else.


	14. Chapter 14

_ "Your parents know you're gay?" Shane asked in low voice. Kendall rolled his body to face the brunet. _

_ "Yeah," he nodded, "Both of them." _

_ "How did you tell them?"_

_ Kendall sighed, "Uh... I talked to them individually. I talked to my Dad first when we're on our way back to home after surfing. You know... I told him like I was joking." _

_ Shane stared at him, fingers wrapped Kendall's skinny fingers. The hazel eyes locked into the green eyes, soft breathe, everything was really beautiful in front of Kendall's face. _

_ "He a little bit shock at first. He never thought I'm gay but yeah, this is me." Kendall leaned his face to kiss Shane's lips, "I like boys. I like you." _

_ Shane smiled, "I like you too, Kendall. How's your mom's reaction?" _

_ "She knew even before I told her. She's like... mind reader you know. Both of my parents always being supportive. They support for whatever I do as long as it makes me happy and it is good for my life, they have no problem." _

_ "I'm so glad you have the great parents to grow up with, Kendall." Shane kissed his forehead, "I am so glad that I met amazing person like you." _

_ Kendall pulled Shane's body into his hug, "You are the amazing one here, Shane." _

_ Shane just smiled. Kendall put his hand around his shoulder, "Did your Mom knows?" _

_ "Maybe," Shane shrugged, "She wouldn't care." _

_ Kendall frowned, "Where is she?"_

_ "I don't know," the brunet once again shrugged, "She doesn't care about me and neither should I." _

_ "Hey," Kendall hugged him, "Don't talk like that."_

_ "Kendall," Shane whispered, loud enough for Kendall. _

_ "Yeah?" _

_ "Do you think I have a chance to meet your Mom?" _

_ Kendall nodded, "Of course! Tomorrow, on my birthday party here, I'll ask her to come. She actually really wants to meet you." _

_ Shane's eyes went wider, "Really? You told her about me?" _

_ "Yeah," Kendall nodded, "Because I tell her everything I love." _

Kendall didn't remember how annoying the paparazzi were. Every time he went outside from his home – even for taking out the trash – he could feel the cameras on him. The most annoying part was he need to be really careful and wore the beanie and sun glasses every day, even for band practice. He needed to hide his face or worse, he needed to disgust.

He threw himself on the couch, "Fucking paparazzi!" he hissed, dropped the backpack on the floor.

Kendall just arrived at the studio. Logan smiled wryly, "You know, they've been there all the time."

"Yeah," he frowned. His hand tucked into his jeans pocket, taking out his phone, "It's been 3 days James didn't call me or text me back."

Carlos sighed, "Well… he's getting more popular now. I can see him in every news for this 'James Diamond's controversy' he should be really busy to taking care of it."

Dustin nodded in agreement, "Yeah and then again, I heard these rumors affected to his company."

The rumors grew bigger not only because James Diamond was the most powerful and richest young man under 25 which the world knew that already, but also because the world knew that Kendall Knight from Heffron Drive was gay as well. The more the merrier.

Kendall stared at the ceiling, "I must be put him in so much trouble."

He felt his phone vibrating, a text from James.

**Don't worry, I can take care of it**

**Sorry for the paparazzi **

**They follow you every where**

**It must be really annoying**

Kendall replied,

**How are you? **

**I'm fine with those paparazzi**

**I worry about you**

James replied,

**I'm fine, Kendall**

**I miss you so much**

Kendall sighed. He really missed James,

**I miss you too, James**

**So fucking much!**

James replied,

**I can't talk much right now**

**Company still in troubles**

**I'll call you ASAP**

**Love you, Knight**

Kendall wanted to cry. As cheesy as it sounds, he really wanted to cry.

**I love you more James**

It's been a week since the James Diamond's gay rumors and the brunet still alive. The CEO gay controversy leaded to the so many LGBT controversy, made pers talked about same sex marriage. Like it didn't enough, political community and other communities talked about how they could deal to the fact that the biggest company had a gay CEO. Pros and Cons, James through his life with cameras. Tom even added twenty guardsmen to look after James. Tired of being the talk in news every where, James finally made a press conference to confirm that the rumors weren't real, that he and Kendall just good friend.

"The rumors about my sexuality are violate my privacy."

"How well do you know Kendall Knight?"

"Mr. Knight is really a good friend to hang out with. We are a good friend" James stated.

"How did you met him, Mr. Diamond?"

"I met Mr. Knight in New York. He had a meeting with Camille at my hotel. She's my cousin and we're become friends ever since. I met the band too. They all my friends."

"Do you know he is gay?"

"I do."

"What do you think about that?"

"It is his privacy and I don't want to answer any kind of questions that might be interfere his privacy. He is a really good musician and I respect him. Thank you." James stood up and walked out from the room even the pers still asked and captured him.

James didn't want to answer any other questions because he really hated to deny it. He wanted to come out so bad about his sexuality, about Kendall, but he couldn't.

The Diamond Global Enterprise's shareholders could breathe easily for a fact that their stocks were finally back to normal. The company back to its raising time. Everything went normal although Arthur and Brooke Diamond still didn't want to talk to their only son, although James still thinking so much about his brother, although he hadn't met Kendall for 6 days now.

Kendall Knight still alive. His weight off for 4 or 5 pounds and now he had dark circles underneath his eyes, result from insomnia for the past 4 days. He was still thinking about his feelings for James and Shane Adams' story. He couldn't stop to not to, hell no. He wouldn't just get over it.

Day by day thinking, it always comes to the dead end, to the idea that Kendall had to let James go before this relationship hurting the brunet more. Why? Kendall knew that James almost got dumped by his family because his sexuality and Kendall wouldn't let it happen. He couldn't just accept his boyfriend at his home, comforting him and fuck him to make him feel better. Hell no. That's not going to happen.

Ready or not, he had to do this. Now or never

"I think we better broke up," and that's all being said. James almost dropped the mug that he'd been holding for about a couple of minutes while waiting the coffee machine finished its job.

"What?" James asked in disbelieve. They were okay during the day and the dinner then bam! Kendall just said the magical words.

Kendall stepped closer, "This has nothing to do with my feelings, James. I love you so much," he cupped the brunet's face, "I love you so much and you know that but we're not meant to be together."

James didn't say anything, just stared to Kendall. There's a bunch of emotions going on in his heart and brain, or both. There's anger, fear, sad, disappointment, and other emotions that Kendall couldn't describe.

"I don't want to hurt you more than this, James. We can't be together." Kendall tried to convince him.

The brunet remain kept silent. Kendall knew this would happen, he knew that for sure. He really had no idea how and what to do anymore.

"You're right." James broke the silence. His voice sounded so strange. It's so cold and tense which James never do this before.

Now it was Kendall's turns to be shocked. He didn't know James could accept this easily. Not even defended their relationship?

"We're not meant to be together, huh? You're so fucking right, Kendall Knight! Thank you for making me realized after all that has happened." James exhaled heavily.

He's mad.

He was really mad.

"After all that we've been going through, this is it? This is how you dumped me?" James asked in a cold tone.

Kendall shook his head, "James, please… I don't mean this conversation to that way…"

"Then where, Kendall?" James cut him off.

"I want the best for both of us! It's hard for me to accept the fact that you and Shane are brothers and… to know for a fact that this relationship leads you into a big problem. Damn it, James! Please understand me!"

James looked to the other way, "I can't! I can't live without you, Kendall!"

"James," Kendall grabbed his hand, "You don't understand! We have to move on."

The brunet shook his head, "No, you're the one who don't understand here, Kendall Knight! There is no such thing like moving on from you! Don't you get it? I love you! Is that not enough?" James insisted.

Kendall hid his tears, "I'm leaving, James. I know you'll get the better life without me,"

James grabbed Kendall's shoulders, "Don't fuck with my feelings just because you're unsure of your own!"

Kendall cried, "If you love me then respect my decision! I want you to break up with me, James! That's my decision!"

"I don't want to. I can't!" James shouted.

"Then I will. I break up with you," Kendall swallowed the saliva, "Good bye, James." he kissed James' forehead then walked out.

Kendall closed the door behind him. He could hearing James cursed and things falling down. His hand up to wipe his tears away from his face.

Good bye, James. I will miss you until we meet again.

**111 missed calls from James Diamond**

** 16 voice mails from James Diamond**

** 24 text messages from James Diamond**

** 17 new emails from James Diamond **

** Delete all notifications?**

** Yes**

"Oh my God!" Jo rushed to hug her best friend. Kendall smiled wryly when he saw the blonde walked in to his studio.

Jo's eyes watery, "How many days since your last shower? Have you eaten anything yet, Ken?" she caressed his head and Kendall leaned his head on her chest.

"I don't know."

"Oh baby," Jo kissed his forehead, "I'll cook something for you first okay?" she cupped her best friend's face.

Kendall just nodded.

"Where's your friends?"

He shrugged, "I don't know."

Jo frowned, "What do you mean you don't know?" she asked from the kitchen, "This is your band's studio."

"Yeah," Kendall joined her to the kitchen, "But I asked them to take a week off because those papparazi wouldn't let us practice in peace."

"How long you've been here?"

Once again, Kendall shrugged, "I don't know."

Jo stopped washing the vegetables, "Kendall, are you... okay?"

Kendall had no idea how to answer her question. Part of him wanted to say he was really okay but part of him wanted to say that he's dying.

"Kendall," Jo hugged him, "Don't go back to where you used to be."

He knew what she meant. She didn't want Kendall had depression. It was bad enough for Kendall had depression twice in his earlier life.

"I won't." he hugged her tight, "I just need time to think about this."

"Mr. Diamond, there's a phone call for you on line 2." his secretary, Gwen, stood on his doorway.

James frowned, "From who?"

"She said she is your counselor, Sir."

James Frowned. He never had a counselor, not even once. "Thank you, Gwen." after she left, James picked up the phone on his desk, "Diamond."

"How dare you not answering my calls!"

"Camille?"

"Who else do you think? I'm on the lobby now. Get your ass down here, I'm having lunch with you. Now!"

Then she hang up.

Camille Roberts sat on one of the black sofas at the Diamond Global Enterprise's lobby. She wore a pair of wash jeans and a loose white shirt. She turned her head once her eyeballs caught James' feature.

"Why you didn't tell me?" she sputtered, hands crossed in front of her chest.

James smiled, "Let me take you for lunch. Shall we?"

The twosome headed to the basement. James didn't say anything and neither Camille, both of them were really busy with their phones.

"Okay, talk!" Camille insisted.

James rolled his eyes, "Can we wait until we get to the bistro?"

"No."

He sighed, "Alright, little miss grumpy."

Camille groaned, "Talk, James or I'll kick your ass!"

James started the engine. "Actually you come to the wrong person, Camille." the car started to moving on from the basement to the main road.

"What do you mean?"

James smiled wryly, "He didn't tell you?"

"I haven't met him," Camille answered in low voice, "What happened?"

James cleared his throat, "I don't know."

Camille frowned, "Please James, you can trust me."

"No, I really don't know, Camille. We were fine. We had dinner, we talked. Everything was fine that day until we got home and there he was. He broke up with me."

"Kendall did?"

James nodded, "Yes. He did."

"Oh my God! Did he... tell you his reason?"

Once again, he nodded, "He did. He told me that... this is the best for both of us. He didn't want to hurt me anymore. He wanted me to get better life."

Camille caressed his shoulder, "I'm sorry..."

"If he really wanted me to get better life, then why he broke up with me? Why he pushed me away? Why he left me?" James turned his head to see his cousin who now was crying, "Why he did this to me?"

Camille wiped her tears, "I really don't know."

"He's the one that really matters to me after all, Camille. I can't live without him."


	15. Chapter 15

**5 months later…**

Kendall placed a bouquet of red roses on Shane's grieve, "Happy 22 birthday, Shane."

It's been 5 months since Kendall broke up with James and he never met him ever since. Camille told him that James was brokenhearted. The brunet seemed okay from the outside, running his company, attending meetings, giving speech for seminar, flying all around the world, all his busyness was the mask to cover his broken heart. In the inside, he was dying.

Kendall could say the same. The blond was also dying inside. He tried his best to make himself busy and forced himself to the limit to not remembering anything related to James Diamond. He saw him on the news yesterday and Kendall could admit that James looked so fragile.

September 4th, not only today was Shane Adams' birthday but also James Diamond's.

Kendall wanted to give James a phone call, to say him a 'happy birthday', to give him birthday wishes, or he wanted to meet him but he couldn't.

This was his decision and he had to do this.

"Kendall," someone called his name, the familiar husky and sexy voice, the voice that he'd been missing for months.

He must be dreaming right now.

"Kendall, look at me,"

The blond turned to see over his shoulder. James was there, standing elegantly behind him, hand holding a bouquet. He looked great as usual, wore a dark blue suit with baby blue shirt underneath, his face handsome as usual except he had sad eyes there, not bright playful hazel eyes, "How are you, Kendall?"

Kendall stood up, standing in front of the brunet was something that he missed, "Hi, James. I'm fine."

James gave him a thin smile, "Nice to know that."

"How are you?" Kendall asked him back.

The brunet bent to put the bouquet he brought next to Kendall's bouquet, "I'm good." He answered in a low voice. Kendall swore, James' voice was trembling.

Kendall stared at his back awkwardly. After 5 months broke up and here they were, meeting at Shane's grieve. This was too miserable.

James turned his back to see Kendall, "I lied." He let out a deep breath.

"I know," Kendall nodded, eyes staring at his shoes. He didn't brave enough to see James on his eyes.

James laughed, a sad and mad laugh, "Why you have to do this to me? What did I do to deserve this, Kendall?"

"I do this for us, James!" Kendall almost gave up. He told the brunet the truth but James seemed didn't believe it, "I do this for you too."

James shook his head, "I don't get it! You just think about yourself! If you think this is the best for us, for me, you're fucking wrong, Kendall!"

"James…"

"You're not even asked what did I do to hold this pain! I can't live without you, Kendall! I can't!" James grabbed Kendall's shoulders, squeezing it hard, "It hurts me the most!"

Kendall staring at the hazel eyes, "I can't just let your family dumped you because of me, James! I don't want to ruin your life!"

"I don't care!"

Kendall shouted, "I care! I care about you and your perfect life! Why you don't understand?"

James looke to the other way then back to Kendall, "This is about Shane, right?" his voice was so intimidating, a cold tone.

Kendall shook his head, "No, James…"

James smirked, "It is. Kendall, listen… I'm not Shane. We are different person and I…"

Kendall cut James' words with a kiss on the lips, hands wrapping the muscular torso. James didn't hesitate to pull the blond closer to his body and kissed him back. Lips parted to give the blond entrance, the kiss that they both missed, the one that they've been craving for.

"I understand," Kendall whispered between their lips, "You don't have to tell me. I know,"

James opened his eyes, "Then why you push me away? I feel so... empty without you. I feel... lifeless." he sounded desperate.

Kendall felt James' pain because he felt it too. He felt lifeless without James, he felt empty without his love, "If we're meant to be, we'll find the way and I know we will someday but not now."

James frowned, "What if I want it now?"

"Good things come to those who wait," Kendall cupped the elder guy's face, "Just remember, I love you and I will come back to you."

James bowed, "When?"

"James," Kendall called the name that always in his dream, "I don't want you to get dumped by your family because of me, because of your sexuality, because our relationship. You need to make them deal with it first and I need to deal with the fact that…"

"I'm Shane's brother." James completed Kendall's sentence.

Kendall smiled, "He meant a lot to me as much as you do."

"This is hard," James exhaled, "I'll have to wait, right? I have to wait for you to come back to me."

Kendall buried his face on James' shoulder, "I miss you, always."

The taller guy did the same thing, buried his face on Kendall's shoulder and closed his eyes, "Always."

"I don't understand." Camille shook her head. She sat next to Jo, crossing her hands in front of her chest.

Kendall shrugged, "You don't have to." he started to pick his guitar again, trying to make new song. It's been 4 months he didn't write new song, not even one.

"But I want to!" she insisted. They were on Heffron Drive's bus, heading to San Antonio for a show.

The album would release in a month and the band started the tour already. It's been a week since their first day of tour and Kendall still on fire. Camille decided to come with them on this tour, she just met them yesterday. The brunette felt the need to know what's really going on with Kendall and her cousin.

"I do this because… I don't want him to get dumped." Kendall answered in low voice.

Camille sighed, "Yeah, cool." She's being sarcastic, "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." her voice sounded really tense.

Kendall put his guitar by his side and glared at her, "Then what do you suggested? Let him to get dumped?"

"He loves you so much, Kendall!" Camille hissed.

Kendall shouted, "I know! I love him more than anything."

Camille wiped her tears, "Idiot! You're fucking idiot Kendall!"

Kendall rolled his eyes, "Whatever! This is my decision and this is the best for both of us."

Jo frowned, staring at her best friend. She felt invited to this conversation, felt the need to speak up her thoughts too, "What if James had better decision for both of you?"

Camille pointed to Jo, nodded in agreement, "True that!"

Kendall shrugged, "I…"

"You never asked him, right?" Jo asked him a worry tone, "You just thinking of yourself, you didn't think about how James might be feel."

There's pressure on Camille's and Jo's eyes. They were waiting for Kendall's answer.

Kendall stared at the girls, "This is my fucking business so suck it off!" he walked out to the other part of the bus angrily, got into his cabinet.

He was mad not because Jo and Camille seemed have stepped into his problem but he was mad because they're right. Kendall never asked how James felt because he was too afraid for the truth, because Kendall was too afraid for the fact that he was the one who hurting James.

Time past by and it came to the time when Kendall needed to get ready for his tour. He still didn't speak to both of Jo and Camille and neither of those girls felt needed to speak up first. They just ignored Kendall.

The show went great as always. His problems seemed go away with all those cheering and screaming from the fans. Kendall finished today's show with saying thank to those who coming then ran to the backstage where usually Jo hugged him and complimented him for his great performance. This time, the blonde seemed distracted by her phone and Camille.

Kendall sighed and just walked toward the snack table, grabbed the fresh fruit that the band assistant served.

"Dude," Carlos punched his arm softly, "What happened to the girls? They stared at you like you're a murderer or something."

Kendall shrugged, his eyes searching the best friends who now talking to Logan and Dustin, "I think… I just broke their dream."

"Huh?" Carlos frowned, had no idea to what Kendall was talking about.

Kendall smiled, "They're fine. Come on, we need to get ready for next trip."

"Can we stop by for red wines or something?" Dustin, came from nowhere, suddenly joined the conversation.

Kendall frowned, "Sure but… don't you think that's too expensive? We usually buy beers after show."

Carlos chuckled, "So you wanted to celebrate your birthday only with cheap beers? Wow… You're very humble, Kendall Knight."

Tomorrow was his birthday already? Time flew so fast.

His friends mocking over him and Kendall just laughed to what they said about him, kind of joke and mock and sometimes inappropriate insult but he knew his friends love him so much.

Deep inside his heart, he wanted someone could be here with him, celebrated his birthday past midnight.

Kendall woke up to the screams from Camille and Jo. They both screaming right next to his ears and he could feel it started to ringing. Behind them were his other best friends, Carlos, Dustin and Logan.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENDALL!"

He smiled, "Wow… thanks guys!"

Jo hugged him tight, "Happy birthday! I love you so much, Kendall!" she kissed his cheek, left the sexy red lips marks on the right cheek.

Kendall kissed her forehead, "Thanks, Baby! Sorry for… ruined your Christian Grey's dream."

She chuckled, "No. I am sorry, that's your decision and I just acted so childish to not respect it."

Camille nodded in agreement, "I'm sorry too, Kendall. That's your relationship and I just stepped on it too much."

He hugged both of them tightly, "It's fine. I love both of you so much!"

It's past midday. They stopped at burger's restaurant before heading to venue. Jo and Camille already packed their things because they would take the last flight tonight to go back to LA. Jo had youTuber's photo shoots for magazine tomorrow and Camille couldn't put off her job too long.

Kendall stared to the empty venue. Every time he arrived at the venue, he always pictures the crowd were already there and Shane was standing there. It's been 6 years now that the blond didn't get a happy birthday and birthday wishes from him. Not even from James but Kendall didn't expect it that much, the brunet had every right to hate him.

New Orleans' show went great as usual. Kendall had so much fun. The music, the scream, the feelings he had when he's on stage singing for them was always the best thing ever happened in his life.

"Great show, guys!" Camille gave everyone on the band a high five jumping.

Kendall couldn't help but smiling. He rested his body on the wood chair and filled himself with a bottle of water. It's 11.45 PM, he had 15 minutes left before his birth day ended. Jo came with a cake full of candles on top of it in her hands. Everyone started to clap their hands and sang happy birthday song for him. Kendall could feel his face started to burn and lips couldn't stop smiling.

He got hugs and birthday wishes from everyone on the tour – the crew, the assistants and most important was from his best friends. His Mom called this morning and she asked him to finish the tour quickly that was impossible because it was already scheduled and he couldn't just ruined it.

Everything was great until he saw Camille fainted to the floor with phone in her right hand.

_ "Who is this?" Shane pointed to the Latino on the picture Kendall showed him._

_ "This is Carlos. That's Logan and then Dustin. We're best friends and we're Heffron Drive." _

_ Shane smiled, "They seem like cool guys to hang out with." _

_ "Yeah, you should meet them someday!" _

_ The brunet nodded, "I'd love to. You close to them?" _

_ "We are. We are very close like brothers,"_

_ Shane handed Kendall his phone back, "You know, I always want a brother. I mean, a real brother from the same parents." _

_ Kendall nodded in agreement, "Me too. I'm the only child but thank God I have them." _

_ "You're lucky you have such good friends. I'm lucky too because I'm okay with everything I have but you know… brothers are cool." _

_ Kendall turned his head to see the brunet clearer, "What if you have one?" _

_ "I might be have one." He said. Kendall knew Shane referred to his Dad's story, "I want an older brother so I can learn everything from him. He must be really cool," Shane smiled, "How about you?"_

_ "I don't know… I never thought one." Kendall shrugged._

_ Shane rolled his eyes, "You're such a dreamless."_

If only Kendall had ability to change everything in his life, then today was the time he wanted to change.

Camille woke up and freaked out looking for her phone. Jo handed her the phone that dropped to the floor with her. "Camille, what happened?" Logan tried to calm his girlfriend down who now was crying while trying to call someone.

She stared to Logan in her watery eyes and spoke unclear, "James… he… car accident… coma…"

Heard what Camille said to Logan almost made Kendall dropped the cup he held this time. Jo closed her mouth with hand and eyes searching Kendall. Logan pulled his girlfriend into his hug but eyes locking into Kendall.

_**Car accident**_

_**Coma**_

The words kept ringing on Kendall's ears and running on his head. Why did it have to happen to James? Why did it have to happen on Kendall's birthday like how Shane's died?

"Kendall!" Carlos slapped him.

The blond turned his head to see his best friend, "Carlos… is it real?"

Jo pulled Kendall into her hug, "I'm sorry, Kendall. Camille called one of her family assistants and he will be here soon to pick her up, you can come with her."

Dustin nodded, "Yeah, dude… you better be there." he gave Kendall a soft squeeze on his shoulder.

Kendall couldn't think more. The pain in his head got even more painful and torturing him inside, "I… I need fresh air."

_ James, please tell me this is not real!_

It was Tom who picked them up, coming with a helicopter belongs to Diamond's family with a pilot and one other assistant. During the flight from New Orleans to Los Angeles, Camille couldn't stop crying.

"What happened?" she asked in a squeaky voice. Hand running on his cheeks, wiped the tears out.

As much as Kendall wanted to know what was really happening, he wished Camille didn't ask that question. Not now.

"Mr. Diamond was on his way back to his apartment after meeting with client from Japan. He almost arrived, the accident happened on the street near his apartmen building."

She frowned, "He must be tired. He always drives alone no matter what time it is…"

"No, Miss Roberts," Tom gave her a thin smile. There's a sad and worry in his eyes, "Mr. Diamond was feeling under the weather for the past couple of days and asked Jeff, one of Mrs. Diamond's drivers, to accompany him. Jeff was dead in place."

Kendall's ears started to ringing even more, "How's James?"

Tom turned his head to see Kendall, "We hope the best for Mr. Diamond."

What that supposed to mean?

"What?" Camille asked in almost inaudible voice.

Tom bowed, "The doctors said that it was a fatal accident, considering it happened between a small car like BMW, I'm sure you know Mr. Diamond never used BMW before, and a big truck. Mr. Diamond broke most of his bones, mostly on his back and under the tights. He lost so much blood and…" Tom gulped, "There's an internal hemorrhage on the spinal cord and cerebrum… and…"

Kendall cut his words off, "I don't understand!"

Camille grabbed his hand quickly, "Kendall, calm down. What's Tom says… James… he injured much. There's an internal bleeding on his brain."

"He's dying, right?" Kendall smiled wryly.

Camille shook her head with all her energy left, "Kendall…"

_Why James used BMW?_

_ Why this accident happened to him?_

_ Why it all happened on my birthday? _

_ Kendall looked outside. James, if you dare to die, I'll kick your pale ass and damned you straight to the hell!_


	16. Chapter 16

Kendall stared blankly at the glass window, he felt so lifeless. After 7 months didn't see someone who he loved with his heart, today he finally had a chance but it was all really different from what he expected. Instead of seeing the brunet with his perfect look, smile with his intimidating eyes, what Kendall saw was James lied in hospital bed. He barely could see the brunet's face because James had bandage around his head and oxygen mask.

"Kendall," he could hear Camille called his name. He turned his head, Camille was no longer crying but her eyes still watery and swollen.

She smiled, hand was extending to hold Kendall's hand, "You have 5 minutes to see him inside. His parents still on their way, you know…"

Kendall nodded, "Thanks."

"Nurse will help you." Camille leaded the way to the ICU room, "Take your time, Kendall."

He pulled her into her hug and kissed the top of her head, "Thank you, Cam. Thank you so much!"

She nodded, "He's waiting for you."

Kendall wore the clothing that the nurse gave him including hair cap and gloves. He also gave her his phone and took off all bracelets he had on, "Please follow me, Mr. Knight," she said.

He felt his heart thumping as he followed her to James' room. The familiar smell of hospital brought some memories back to Kendall's mind. He tried to ignore the painful of Shane's flashbacks. The day when Kendall had to pick Shane up from chemotherapy room, the day he never could forget. Seeing the brunet looked so sick and pale, the moment Kendall thought that Shane was already dead or he was dying.

"Mr. Knight," the nurse called, "You have 5 minutes. If anything happens, please press this button immediately."

Kendall nodded, "Yeah… sure… thanks."

"Please do not make too much a skin contact with Mr. Diamonds. You are allowed to hold his hands but no more."

"Thanks."

The nurse just gave him a nod then walked out the room. Kendall pulled the chair and brought it next to James' bed. He could hear the intimidating sound from EKG monitoring machine and other monitors that Kendall didn't know the function. What Kendall knew was those medical equipment were designed for patients with critical conditions.

"James," he whispered. He even didn't recognize his own voice, it sounded so different like he was too fragile even to say the brunet's name.

The elder male didn't answer, not even opened his eyes. Kendall stared at his ex-boyfriend. James' beautiful face was really pale like it had no blood at all. There were bruises on his cheekbones. Kendall wished he could see the most beautiful hazel eyes but it closed. He wished he met this brunet not in this situation.

"Why are you doing this to me, James?" Kendall cried. Hand extended to carefully hold the brunet's cold hand, "Please, open your eyes and look at me."

James kept still. Kendall only could hear his soft breath and those machines' eerie sounds.

"I'm on the tour, you dickhead!" Kendall smiled dryly, "I was in the middle of celebrating my birthday when I heard you have an accident."

"You ruined my birthday..."

Kendall rested his head on James' hand, forehead attached to the back of his hand, "I wish you didn't…"

He couldn't hold it anymore. He cried and ignored the fact that he's a grown up man and a rocker. He didn't care what anyone could think if they saw him in this moment. He didn't care at all, "Open your eyes, James… come back to me," he whispered, almost inaudible voice most likely for himself.

Kendall was afraid. He was afraid of being left behind again and again. He was afraid that there's a time he would come to James Diamond's funeral. He was afraid even to think about that.

"I can't lose you, James. I don't want to come to your funeral. I don't want to say goodbye..."

"Please," Kendall raised his head, eyes locking into the sleep and lifeless James, "Come back to me, Babe."

The nurse gave him a soft knock on the door, signed him that his time was over. Kendall wiped his tears. He took deep breath, calm himself down, "I'll come back later, okay? I love you," he leaned his head to kiss the brunet's forehead softly and carefully, afraid he might be hurting him.

Maybe he was already hurting him.

"Yeah…" Kendall exhaled heavily. He was on the phone with Logan, informed his best friend that he would stay a night here with Camille, her Mom and James' Mom. They all seemed okay with Kendall being there.

_"Are you okay?"_ Logan asked.

Kendall sighed, "I'm fine… I guess…"

_ "No, seriously, Dude. Are you okay?" _

Kendall kept silence. He looked to the other way, tried his best to not crying while he's on the phone with Logan, "No,"

_"He'll be fine, Kendall." _

Kendall bowed to stare his laps, "He's dying, Logan."

_ "I wish the best for him and you. Kendall, listen to me, you can through this. You have to be strong so you can… dude, don't go back to who you are in the past. James is not going anywhere." _

"I'm not depressed, Logan."

_"Don't you dare or I will kill you. He will be fine." _

Kendall smiled, "Thanks, Bud."

_"Anytime, Man. Have you eaten anything today?" _

"Uh huh," Kendall sighed, "You sound like my Mom."

Logan laughed, _"Someone needs to act like this in this situation." _

"I'm gay but not for you, Logan Mitchell."

_"Gross! I guess I'll call Camille." _

Kendall nodded, "Sure. She needs you."

_"Yeah I know," _Logan stopped talking to him, he talked to other people,_ "So, call me if you need anything okay?" _

"Sure. Thanks for everything, Logge."

Logan just gave him a 'sure bud' then they ended the phone call. Kendall leaned his head on the wall. He lied. He actually had no appetite even for a glass of water.

"Mr. Knight," Tom, came from nowhere, stood in front of him.

Kendall raised his head, "Oh, hey, Tom."

Tom gave him a soft nod, "Can I talk to you?" he signed the empty chair next to Kendall.

Kendall nodded, "Sure."

"Thank you," Tom immediately sat next to Kendall, "Have you eaten anything yet?"

Kendall lied, "I have, thanks."

"We can talk at the cafeteria if you want. Mr. Diamond always hates people who ignore their own health."

Kendall knew it. He remembered James mad at him because he skipped his lunch. What was it between James and food anyway?

"I don't want to eat anything right now," Kendall bowed.

Tom nodded, "Understood. Mr. Knight, I'm so sorry to what happened to Mr. Diamond."

"He's dying, he is not dead yet, Tom."

Tom smiled, "I've been working for Diamond family for 40 years and I saw how Mr. Diamond grew up. I've been working as his assistant for nearly 5 years now, and I couldn't ask for better boss. None is better than him."

Even though Kendall had no idea why Tom told him about this, maybe the old man needed someone to talk.

"He always talking about you," Tom stared at him.

Kendall frowned, "What?"

"Since the first day you and Mr. Diamond met at New York, he never stopped ever since. I know for the fact that he's falling in love with you. I feel grateful for that, Mr. Knight."

Kendall had no idea what to say.

"Police found this on his pocket," Tom handed Kendall a black velvet box, "This must be for you."

Kendall stared blankly to the box in his hand, "What is this?"

Tom shook his head, "I don't know but I can say that wasn't belongs to Mr. Diamond. I know every single thing he has. This was brand new."

Kendall tried his best to breathe, "Uh…"

"Nice talking to you, Mr. Knight. Do you want donuts or burgers?"

Kendall shrugged, "I don't know."

"I'll buy some food and drink for you if you don't mind," Tom insisted, "How about a coffee and donuts?"

Kendall just nodded. He didn't know what to say when his minds tried it best to think what's in the box.

"I'll come back later, Sir." After that Tom was leaving, gave Kendall time alone.

Slowly Kendall opened the box from Tom. It was the black leather watch with 88 Rue du Rhone written inside. That's the familiar watch.

Kendall took off the watch and made a piece of paper fell. He bowed to take it and read it.

_**Happy 22nd birthday, Kendall Knight! **_

_** I hope you like this watch as much as I do. **_

**_ Love,_**

_** James**_

He accidentally dropped the box and something fell together with it. It was an iPod nano. Kendall took it and pressed the play button.

_"Happy birthday, Kendall Knight,"_ James' voice was all he heard.

Kendall could feel his body tensed. He lower the volume since he had no headset with him right now.

_"I never do something like this before. I have no idea why I'm doing this… guess, I miss talking to you." _

_ "Uh… I buy your album. That's really amazing you know… I can't stop listening to your songs. Seriously, you're a great musician at your age. How old are you again? Oh, 22 huh? You're like having 22 year of experience rather than 22 year of life." _

Kendall chuckled. His left hand wiped the tears away.

_"My favorite song is Parallel. I don't know that's a new or old song since you said that you have 10 new songs and 2 old songs. Considering I never heard Heffron Drive before so… yeah, now I know and I'm dating their vocalist… what am I talking about? Oh, parallel. So yeah, the song is great by the way." _

_ "I love the part 'what if the one who was meant for you was all along right in front of you' uh… that has deep meaning for me."_

_ "I think… that was what happened to us. I want you back, if it isn't too much to ask, Kendall. I want you to come back to me, to my life. I need you in my life, Kendall Knight." _

If there's someone who had ability to make Kendall Knight cried because of 2 minutes of voice recording that was James Diamond. He covered his face with both of his palms, ignored the fact that he might be made people look at him in confusion. He didn't care.

He could feel the pain in his heart.

How could Kendall be so stupid? How could he was so egoistic and all about saving himself from the suffering of broken heart but didn't think about James at all?

How could Kendall stupidly push James away?

What if… what if Kendall never had a chance to fix James' heart?

_"Hey!" Kendall put his hand around Shane's shoulder. The brunet just gave him a nod, his hand was drawing something on his book as usual. _

_ Kendall felt something was wrong. Shane never ignored him, not even once, "What happened?" _

_ "Nothing," Shane answered in a cold tone._

_ "Don't lie to me, Shane." Kendall grabbed Shane's shoulders and turned the brunet's body to face him, "Tell me." _

_ Shane stared at him, "When I said nothing, then it's nothing." _

_ "I don't believe you." _

_ "I don't care!" Shane shouted. _

_ Kendall gasped, "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked. Shane never shout before, never rude. He never acted like this._

_ "I want to be alone." Shane stood up, "Leave me alone." _

_ Kendall grabbed his hand, "Wait!" _

_ "You just wasting your time, Kendall." Shane glanced at him, "Just go home and don't come back here." _

_ Kendall's eyes watery, "Shane, what's wrong? What did I do?" _

_ "You do nothing. I just..." Shane bowed, "I just want to be alone." _

_ kendall touched Shane's chin and raised his head, "You know this is the place where I meant to be. Here, with you." his voice soften, "What the doctor said to you?" _

_ Shane buried his face on Kendall's chest, his hand hugged him tight, "I'm afraid Kendall..." _

_ "Sshhh..." Kendall caressed Shane's head, he kissed the top of his head, "I'm here." _

_ "I don't want to go... I don't want to leave you." Shane cried. His voice was trembling. _

_ Kendall gulped. He could feel Shane's fear, "Then don't. Stay here with me." his hand tighten their hug. _

_ "I'm sorry Kendall... I'm sorry." _

Kendall woke up with the sound of crying from Camille. He just slept for 2 hours or so and woke up like this made his head banging.

"What happened?" Kendall asked in a panic tone, seeing Camille cried in her chair and both of Camille's and James' Moms were gone.

Camille pulled Kendall into a hug, "James' condition is getting worse… he… suffered kidney failure… both of them… his heart stop beating…"

Kendall fell into the floor.

James couldn't do this to him. He couldn't fucking do this.

"Kendall…" Camille cried, "I'm afraid."

He couldn't think and just hugging Camille tightly. All he needed was something to hold onto, to hold him from the break down.

James was taken to surgery room and the red light was on. Kendall just stared blankly to the light, hoping it would change anytime soon.

1 hour past, Kendall still kept his eyes on the light. He could hear James' Mom made phone calls. He could hear Camille called Logan. He also could hear Tom and Camille's Mom talking. He just didn't care.

2 hours past, Kendall could feel his stomach getting hurt. He also could feel the head was heavier than before. Camille asked him to eat some donuts but he wasn't sure either he could eat or not. He said no.

4 hours past, Camille's Dad and her older brother, Ryan, came. Kendall didn't know that James was that close to Camille's family. He thought that James didn't close to anyone in this family. Ryan talked to Kendall a bit, just a short chit-chat. He was really nice like Camille, her Dad was nice too.

6 hours past, Camille was fallen into deep sleep on her brother's shoulder. James' Mom still talking to Tom and Camille's parents went to cafeteria to get some coffee.

6 and half hours, the doors opened.

Kendall was the one who stood up, "How's James?" he asked.

One of the doctors who handle him opened the mask, "Mr. Diamond's kidneys stop working and responding. We need kidney donor immediately." He explained, "Does Mr. Diamond happen to have siblings?"

Brooke Diamond shook her head, "No. He is the only child."

"Please check my kidneys." Kendall said quickly, almost cut Brooke's words.

Everyone looked at him in shock.

"Are you and him are relative?" the doctor asked.

Camille shook her head, "He is his boyfriend. Kendall, this is dangerous. You can't just risk your life!" she frowned, "Don't do this."

Ryan squeezed Kendall's shoulder, "James can use mine. He is my brother, okay?"

"What if your kidneys are not match?" Kendall insisted, "Please, just… just check it, Doctor."

Brooke shook her head, "Kendall, don't! James still has his mom."

"Everyone," one of the doctors took the situation off, "All of you can come with me to the lab for kidneys checking."

Camille grabbed Kendall's hand, "Don't do something stupid, Kendall! Look, we all have two kidneys and we are his family."

Kendall sighed, "Just let me try, Camille."

"Kendall!" Camille cried, "Please… I don't want something bad happen to you!"

He pulled her into his hug and kissed her forehead, "If this is the only thing that I can do for him, please let me do this. I already put him into a suffering and I'm the one who should be responsible. Please, I love him so much."

Kendall stared at the lights above him. He felt nervous so much until he couldn't breathe well. Doctors were preparing him for the surgery.

He had no idea how could this was really happen. From all those people who were James' family, none of their kidneys were match except Kendall's. After the result came out and the doctors informed them, Kendall immediately said yes and signed the donor contract. He called his Mom which was turned to be the most dramatic phone call he ever had, involved her Mom's yelled and cursed and other languages that Kendall didn't understand – actually, it was her anger and confusion – she asked him to do nothing until she got there.

30 minutes later, she was here, crying and begging him to not doing this. Kendall's decision was unanimous. Nothing couldn't change his mind not even his Mom.

Now he was lying on surgery bed, waiting the anesthetic worked and drowning him into the deep unconsciousness.

"Are you ready, Mr. Knight?" one of the doctors asked.

Kendall turned his head to his right, there he was, James - lifeless James, waiting for his kidney. The memories between them came into his head like a slideshow. The way the brunet smiles, talks, chuckles, laughs, even breath, Kendall remembered everything and he missed every single moment with the brunet.

James was wrong. It wasn't the brunet who needed Kendall in his life, but it was Kendall who needed him, more than anything.

"Yes. I'm ready."

He extended his hand to hold James' cold hand, "I'll bring you back, I promise." Then everything turned into black.


	17. Chapter 17

_"How long you've been here?" Kendall sat next to Shane. The brunet tossed him a bottle of root beer. _

_Shane shrugged, "I'm not sure... I don't remember." _

_"How can you don't remember?" _

_The brunet smiled, "Because I like being here..." _

_"Really? None likes hospital, Shane." Kendall smirked._

_Shane rested his back on the wall, "I do. I like staying here." _

_"Why?" _

_Shane looked up to the clear sky, "Because... My life starts in here rather than outside."_

_"I don't understand," Kendall frowned._

_"I meet nice people here. I like them." Shane turned his head to see Kendall, "You know what, sometimes there's a time and place that we never expected to be good but actually it turns out to be one of the best things happened in our life." _

_Kendall blinked, "Uh..." _

_"For example, Mr. Knight," Shane leaned his body to hug Kendall, "I met you here and I'm so sure that I won't forget about that. Even when it comes to my time to be gone, story of us will be everlast." _

_Kendall tighten their hug, "You're not going anywhere, Shane." _

_Shane released the hug, "I'm not. I'll always be here..." he touched Kendall's chest, "and you are here." he brought Kendall's hand to his chest. _

_Kendall smiled, "For sure." _

The first thing Kendall saw when he opened his eyes was the white ceiling and the dim light. Then he felt something stuck on his nose, fucking oxygen hose.

"Kendall, you're awake!"

He saw Camille stood - she looked cheerier than... how many days he'd been unconscious?

"Hi," that's his first word. His voice was so sore and squeaky until he didn't recognize his own voice at first.

Camille kissed his forehead, "Welcome back! Your Mom has meeting this morning and Jo is on her way here."

Kendall smiled, "What time is it?"

"It's 8 in the morning. Surprisingly, you're a morning person only after surgery." She chuckled, "I'll go get doctors."

Kendall just gave her a nod. He felt tired and lack of energy. He had no idea why, maybe because he just had a big surgery.

How's James?

Camille back with doctor and two nurses then they're checking on him. The brunette just sat next to his bed, watching them.

"How do you feel, Mr. Knight?" the doctor asked.

Kendall sighed, "I feel... tired?"

"Of course you are. You're allowed to drink warm tea, after that in the next hour you'll get porridge as the diet. We want you to eat gradually."

"Thanks, Doc." Kendall gave him a thin smile.

Doctor nodded, "It's my job to taking care of you, Mr. Knight. You are the bravest young man I've ever known."

"Thank you. Uh... How's James?"

He smiled, "Mr. Diamond's body gives the good respond to the kidney but he still in coma, considering the injury he had on his head. He is a really strong person. We've been trying our best, now all we can do just praying."

Camille wiped her tears, "He'll wake up soon, Kendall. Don't worry." She caressed his shoulder.

Kendall closed his eyes, tears started to falling down.

_Please, James, come back to me!_

"Logan, sorry... I screwed up the tour," Kendall was on the phone with Logan. The band was on Detroit now. It's been the second places that Kendall didn't come to.

_"It's okay... Get back to your health very soon, okay? We told the fans that you're sick and need to go back to LA. Everything is handled well, don't worry." _

Kendall let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you so much, Logan! I owe you and the band everything."

_"We're best friends, Kendall. Actually, we are really proud of you. What you did for James is something that could make yourself on the death. The surgery could be failed."_

Kendall gulped. Logan was right but that time, Kendall didn't think about that, he only thought about he needed to get this surgery quickly so he could donor his kidney to James.

"I don't know what I thought that day. I just..."

_"Because you love him, Man! If you didn't love him or think that you love him only because he looks like Shane, you are wrong. The fact that you risked yourself in death for James proved that you really love him." _

Kendall stunned, "I did something that I never think I'm capable of." his voice was almost inaudible.

_"Now you understand,"_ Kendall could imagine Logan was smiling over there, _"Once again, I'm so proud to you." _

"Thanks, Log. Thank you for listening to my shits."

_"Sure, Bud. Tell him I say hi when he wakes up, okay? We'll be back immediately after Detroit." _

He frowned, "What about the rest?"

_"We have a week off before the next show."_ Logan reminded him.

Kendall felt relief, "Right. Sorry... I forgot everything."

His best friend chuckled over there, _"Not a surprise. Take some rest, Bud."_

"Sure. Once again, thanks, Logge."

_"That's really annoying for a fact that it's been more than 5 times you thank me. I'm going to bed right now," _

Kendall chuckled, "Bye, Logan. Sweet dreams!"

_"Uh huh fucking sweet dreams..."_ Logan murmured, _"Talk to you later, Babe."_

Kendall tried his best to hold the laugh because it would make his abdomen hurt, "Bye, Babe."

Jo was walking in when Kendall was on the phone with Logan, "Who you talking to?" she kissed his cheek.

Kendall placed his phone on the side table, "Logan."

"Ew... Do you planning to stab James and Camille from the back?" she chuckled, "That's disgusting!"

Kendall shrugged, "Logan is really sweet lately."

"Gross!"

He chuckled, "I'm kidding. I thought you wouldn't come today,"

"Yeah," Jo nodded, "The meeting went faster than I expected. Where's your Mom?"

Kendall shook his head, "She's on work and won't be here until late. I told her to not coming and take some rest at home instead. I feel so much better today."

"That's relief," Jo smiled, "How's Camille?"

"She went to James' room." Kendall sighed, "I want to see him but doctors not allowing me to sit."

Jo frowned, "You'll see him soon, Kendall."

He nodded.

It's been 3 days and Kendall had no idea how much he missed James. He'd been asking to everyone - Camille, his Mom, James' Mom and Ryan - they all said that James looked better.

Still, he wanted to see James by himself instead of knowing the brunet's condition from his family.

Speaking of James' family, things got so much better. This past three days, so much happened to him. Brooke Diamond was really proud and thank Kendall so much for saving her only son's life even James still not waking up, yet. She also gave her blessing for their relationship.

"James deserved someone like you, Kendall." that was Brooke Diamond said before she was leaving.

Camille's family was nothing to worry about, they all were very welcoming.

There's only one person left who still made Kendall worried, Arthur Diamond. Kendall knew the guy been visiting his son often but he didn't come to Kendall's room, not even once to thank him after what Kendall did for his son. He gave his son thousand times better than money for God's sake!

"Kendall?" Jo called his name.

The blond turned his head to see his best friend who sat next to him, "Hm?"

"What are you thinking? You blanked off." she frowned, worrying him.

Kendall shook his head, "Nothing. I guess... I need beer." He grinned, trying to act normal in front of his best friend.

"Are you nuts?" she snapped out as she felt annoyed, "I'll peel you oranges."

The day went so fast even Kendall didn't realize what was happened. His mind couldn't take off of James. He couldn't stop thinking about how was James' condition, how did he looks and all.

He couldn't.

The next day, Kendall begged to his doctor, Dr. Stanford, for allowing him to visit James.

"Alright, no more than 5 minutes, Kendall."

Stacy, his nurse, came with a wheelchair and Kendall slowly and carefully sat on it. He was alone this morning. His Mom had 3 meetings ahead and couldn't put it off, one of them was with Diamond Enterprises and he heard that Arthur Diamond who was in charge. Camille had meeting for new project and Jo had a magazine photo shoot since now she's the social media ambassador for a makeup brand.

Kendall tighter his jacket then ran his finger to soften his dirty hair and covered it with his beanie.

"Are you nervous?" Stacy asked.

He shook his head, "No. I'm so stoked." He smiled.

They arrived in front of the ICU room of James Diamond, the luxury one. He saw none in the waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Diamond came early this morning. They both are very busy, I guess." Stacy answered Kendall's snide question.

Kendall nodded, "They are."

"Alright, Kendall..." Stacy smiled, "You can wear your beanie but not your jacket. Take it off."

He frowned, "I'm wearing nothing under my hospital pajama."

"I know," Stacy chuckled, "I'll take some acceptable clothing for visiting. Come on, take it off."

Kendall sighed but he took it anyway. Once the jacket away from his skinny body, he could feel the cold torturing him, "Fuck, it's cold!"

Stacy back with the green clothes and help Kendall to wear it. This clothing was different from the one that Kendall wore when he visited James at the first time, this one looked like poncho instead of a clothes.

"I'll back 5 minutes later, Kendall." Stacy said before she closed the door.

Kendall didn't even take a look to her. His eyes were locking into the figure he'd been missing off.

"James," Kendall reached out to hold James' hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of his hand.

"Hey, Baby." He smiled, tears started to falling down made his cheeks wet, hand caressing James' head carefully.

Everyone was right. James looked so much better, there's pink flushed on his cheeks and his lips no longer had bluish color, it still looked pale but it was better. He was no longer use oxygen mask but an oxygen hose instead.

Kendall leaned his face to kiss his ex-boyfriend's cold cheek, "Wake up, sleepy head! It's been... 5 days you're sleeping. I thought you hate putting off your job..." he wrapped their fingers. James' hands were so cold.

"God, what are you, a vampire?"

"James," Kendall rested his forehead on James' hand, I know I did something stupid and unforgiveable by pushing you away. I regret it, believe me, I'm so fucking stupid to do that to you. You are the best lover, the best person who ever come to my life..." he sobbed, "I should've know this earlier. Please James, wake up..."

"I know I'm the furthest thing from being a perfect person like you," Kendall raised his head to see the brunet, "but I can promise you, from now on, I'll love you unconditionally. I'll love you endlessly because I love you more than I have find a way to say to you."

Kendall kissed James' cold and pale lips softly, "Please, come back to me." he whispered.

Ten days later, Kendall Knight was back on tour. He still in recovery but he couldn't mess the tour even more. Doctors wanted him to lessen the movement as possible as he could and Kendall didn't take a risk to disobey the doctors' order.

They were at Long Beach now, just two shows left before the tour ended. Kendall had no idea how tiring it was, not until he had big surgery and back on tour.

"Dude, are you okay?" Carlos put his hand around Kendall's shoulder.

Kendall felt exhausted. Even though the show went great and he could lessen the movement as possible he could - he didn't jump, just walked back and forth on the stage - he still felt tired.

"Yeah... just tired, I guess." Kendall finished his water.

Carlos smiled, "2 more shows and we are done."

Kendall nodded, "Right. Where is the next show?" he asked when he realized the bus started moving from the parking lot.

"Venice," Carlos gulped, "How's James?"

Memories about Him &amp; James had running on Kendall's mind. He rested his head on the couch, "Nothing changed."

"Don't lose your hope," Carlos gave a warm squeeze on his shoulder, "He will be fine soon."

"I need now," Kendall sighed, "not soon."

Carlos smiled wryly, "I have no idea how it feels to be you and him but... I can say that he'll come back to you, Kendall. I don't know when, but he will."

Kendall nodded, "Thanks 'Los,"

"Get some rest. We'll get dinner once we get there."

He obeyed his best friend's advice to take some rest and started to close his eyes. Instead of drown into sleep, he was back into memories.

_"I have some thoughts." Shane turned his body, facing Kendall. _

_Kendall pulled out his beanie, "What?" _

_"Firstly, you are so amazing, Kendall Knight." _

_The blond chuckled. _

_"Secondly, if someday... you meet someone better than me and I know you will, you have to... love her or him... with all your hearts like you do to me." _

_Kendall frowned, "What was that coming from?" _

_Shane shrugged, "I have a feeling I... will die." _

_"Everyone will, Shane. Stop talking like this." _

_"Yeah but my time will come sooner than everyone," Shane smiled, "Admit it, Kendall." _

_Kendall shook his head, "I'm not and never will." _

_"Don't. You have to be ready. Promise me, when my time is coming, I want you to let me go." _

_"Shane..." _

_"Promise me!' _

_Kendall cried, "I don't want to!" _

_"Then you don't deserve me." _

_"What?" _

_"Promise me, Kendall." _

_Kendall cupped Shane's face then brought their lips together, "As much as I love you, I won't be ready for that day and I can't promise that." _

_"You have to, because you will." _

_Kendall shook his head, "None is better than you." _

_"I have a good feeling about that, you will meet someone better than me and I promise this person will be your last. This person will bring you some love, happiness and better future than I do." _

"Kendall..." Logan frowned.

He stared to his best friend, "What?"

"You talked in your sleep," Logan smiled dryly, "Nightmares?"

Kendall sighed, "Kind of."

"Camille just called," Logan caressed his best friend's shoulder, "I think you need to go back to Los Angeles."

Kendall's eyes widened, "Is this about James?"

"Yes," Logan nodded, "She's on her way to pick you up."


	18. Chapter 18

Kendall had no idea why both of Logan and Camille didn't tell him anything about James. None. It was a big zero point and Kendall had to swallow all his curiosity until they got there. Camille looked so odd. She didn't say any of words during the drive and neither do Kendall. That was the longest 45 minutes or so in Kendall Knight's life.

"Don't you think we need to... speak?" Camille asked in a cold and tense voice.

Kendall frowned, "Don't you?"

"I don't have to say anything," Camille shrugged, "I just need to show you something."

Kendall let out an 'uh huh' and just looked to the other way. Camille punched his shoulder lowly, "Dude, I miss you and you didn't say something even a word. Geez!"

"You don't say anything either," Kendall rolled his eyes, "You make me curios. Just tell me, what happened?"

Camille shook his head, "Not my place to speak, Kendall." she gave him a thin smile, "Whatever it is, I love you."

Kendall groaned, "Okay, that's enough, Camille. I'm dying to know what the fuck is really happening!"

She parked her car on the hospital parking lot. Once she killed off the engine, she turned facing him, "He's waiting for you," her eyes watery.

Kendall's eyes widened, "Do you mean..."

She smiled widely, tears flowing from her eyes, "Yes. Now, go!"

Kendall didn't need to be told twice. He kissed Camille on the cheek then took off the seatbelt, jumping from the car then running to the hospital's hallway. His heart pounding crazily as he imagined James' sat on his bed - well maybe he wouldn't, probably still lying on the bed - but hell he would be smiling and greeting Kendall! He was no longer sleeping!

He ignored the fact that his abdomen felt like pinching him from the inside, he supposed to not running for God's sake!

Kendall stopped running, took a second for catch a breath and caressed his stomach, he laughing himself.

"Kendall?"

He turned his head to see over his shoulder. Ryan was behind him, walking toward, "Hey, are you okay?" he looked worried.

"Yeah... yeah..." Kendall chuckled, "I was too excited and now... this," he pointed to his stomach, "Pinched me from the inside."

Ryan chuckled, "Come on! He is not going anywhere."

The waiting room was really crowded. There's a bunch of people who dressed immensely presentable and they all looked like nothing but a part of Diamond - Roberts' family.

"Kendall!" Brooke Diamond greeted him once she saw the skinny guy was standing next to Ryan Roberts, "Oh God! How are you?" She gave him a big and warm hug, proved that this middle age woman was accepted him as her son's boyfriend.

"I'm doing fine, Mrs. Diamond, thank you." Kendall hugged her back.

She smiled widely, "Glad to hear that! He's been waiting for you but unfortunately, you have to wait."

**WHY?**

"Uh... Is the visiting hours ended?"

She shook her head, "No, some doctors are inside of his room. They all checking his condition, considering he'd been in coma for more than 2 weeks."

"Right..." Kendall nodded. More than 2 weeks? Wow, James Diamond had so much trouble for that!

"And if you don't mind, his Dad wants to get in first. He is on his way..." She added, eyes locking into Kendall as she waiting him to respond.

"Of course," Kendall answered quickly, "Why I would mind?"

She smiled, "Thank you. Have you eaten anything today, Kendall?"

Okay, big point, what was it all about Diamond family and food? Why they all were too concerned about people around them to get food?

"I had, thank you."

She nodded, "That's relief. You get skinnier than the last time I saw you," she frowned, "You must be exhausted during the tour."

Brooke Diamond had no idea what was she talking about. Kendall smiled, he felt grateful his boyfriend's Mom was really cared, "I'm tired but everything is good..."

"Don't you think you need to greet your Mom's first, Mr. Knight?"

Kendall had no idea why his Mom, Jennifer Knight, the busiest Mom on earth, was also here for James Diamond.

"Mom!" Kendall hugged her, "I'm sorry I don't know you're here!"

Brooke laughed, "I'm sorry, Kendall. I should have to tell you earlier. I was too excited seeing you!"

"Oh God," Kendall almost cried.

His Mom just laughed, "That's fine. Brooke called me. I was going to call you but Camille had better idea."

So this was planned and it was the great Camille Roberts' plan.

Camille - came from nowhere - put her hand around Kendall's shoulder, "I told your Mom and Aunty to not say anything to you because I want to be the first person who told you this."

Kendall smiled. He hugged his best friend tight, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," she kissed his cheek, "The doctors still in there, aren't they?" she turned her head to her aunt.

Brooke nodded, "It's been 15 minutes. Camille, do you see Tom?"

While the family talked, Kendall sat next to his Mom.

"Mom," Kendall smiled, "Have you see him?"

Jennifer shook her head, "I haven't. Brooke was the only person who had getting in and met him. She said he looks fine, Kendall. You can get in after Arthur visits."

Kendall nodded.

He couldn't wait any longer.

Why the doctors needed to be in there for so fucking long?

"Mr. Knight," Tom called his name.

Kendall raised his head, "Tom."

"Sir, Mr. Diamond wants to have words with you down in the cafeteria." he informed.

Why Arthur Diamond wanted to have words with him? "Oh... Alright, thank you Tom."

Kendall turned his head to see his Mom and gave her a why he wants to meet me look and his Mom just shrugged.

James' dad was there, sat alone in the brown sofa of hospital cafeteria, enjoying his coffee.

"Mr. Diamond," Kendall greeted him.

Arthur raised his head, gave Kendall a thin smile, "Kendall Knight, please have a seat."

Kendall got used to this politeness version of Diamond family. He sat in the empty sofa across Arthur, realizing Tom was seen anywhere was very weird for him. That's only two of them in the situation where Arthur Diamond, Dad to both James Diamond and Shane Adams, wanted to have words with him. Fuck!

"Do you want to order something?" Arthur asked as he pointed to the bar.

Kendall shook his head, why the fuck he wanted to order something when he was here with James' Dad?

"No, Sir. I'm good."

Arthur nodded, "James is still in intensive checkup, so I guess it is fine if we talk a little?"

"Very well, Sir."

"Firstly, Kendall Knight, I want to say thank you for your kindness to donor one of your kidneys to James. That's very noble. I couldn't imagine what would happen to my son if you weren't there that day, when all of family members' kidneys happened to not match."

Kendall smiled, "Sir, due to all respect, I do that sincerely."

"I know," Arthur gave him a soft smile, "We all owe you, Kendall Knight. I don't know how to pay you back. We owe you a life."

"No, Sir. You don't have to pay me back. I'm not looking for payback, I..."

"You love my son, I know."

Fucking right!

Kendall nodded, "With all respects, I do."

Arthur Diamond smiled - a sincere smile - "That's the second thing I want to talk about."

**_What?_**

"Sir?"

Arthur nodded, "I know my son loves you so much, Mr. Knight. Well, both of you love each other so much and even though I want him to marry decent woman and give me a grandchild, there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to be the one who ruined my children's life twice."

Kendall knew what exactly Arthur talked about. He ruined Shane's life and now, the old man just admitted he didn't want to ruin James'.

"I... uh..." Kendall stuttered. He had no idea how to respond the heavy words of Arthur.

The older man smiled, "James is the CEO for our family company and the entire world knows that he is a really respectable successful young man. You are yourself is a very good musician and we happen to know that both of you need to act appropriate for media. I don't think showing your affection is really good idea. How about not coming out publicly?"

_**Holy fucking shit!**_

**Was this a REAL Arthur Diamond who's talking with him?**

"Sir..."

Arthur chuckled, "This is very odd for me too, Mr. Knight, but... all I want to say is... I'm blessing your relationship with my son with all my heart."

Kendall stared at his reflection on the mirror above the sink. He's been in the bathroom for about nearly 5 minutes now, couldn't stop to worrying his looks before he finally met his boyfriend.

Luckily Kendall shaved this morning and wore the white V-neck t-shirt, black varsity jacket and his favorite jeans. Oh, also his black beanie. He looked decent to meet his boyfriend later, after James' Dad.

Arthur Diamond, that man who happened to be James' Dad, personally told him that he blessing their relationship. What the fuck was that?

"Kendall!" Camille's voice called him from the outside.

He checked his look once again then opened the door, Camille standing there with her phone.

"It's your turn, lover boy!"

Kendall rolled his eyes as he made his way back to the ICU rooms. Arthur just got out from the room, wiping his tears - what happened inside? - and sat next to his wife.

"Mr. Knight," the nurse called his name, standing in the doorway with acceptable clothing for visit ICU room in her hand.

Kendall walked toward her, "Yes."

"Please take off your jacket and wear this, Sir." She handed him the clothing. Kendall waved to Camille and his Mom before followed the nurse into the ICU room.

She leaded the way to James' room. Kendall could feel his heart pounding - probably jumping out inside - as he walked following the nurse.

Before opening the door, she turned her back to Kendall, "7 minutes, Sir." She reminded him, "Take your time," then she just go without saying anything.

Kendall took a deep breath before open the door. It felt like he wasn't going to meet his boyfriend, it felt like he was going to meet President. Fuck, why he was so freaking nervous anyway? He was going to meet James, his love!

With all energy he had, Kendall turned the knob and opened the door wide enough to get his body in.

There he was. James was half sitting on the hospital bed - nothing luxury about the bed but fuck, was he needed to be that magnificent even he just woke up for about 8 hours now from 15 days of coma? He still had an oxygen hose, bandages and other medical equipment stuck into his body with chords or whatever it was called, Kendall didn't have time to think about that.

"Hi, Kendall Knight" James' voice was a little bit raspy but holy fucking shit that's the sexiest voice Kendall ever heard.

Kendall stood in the doorway, amazed by how perfect James was, amazed by his voice and smile, amazed by how James was finally be able to say his name again.

James frowned, "Are you going to standing there like a statue instead of... you know... hug me?"

Kendall ran towards him and gave the brunet a real hug. The blond was crying on James' hug while the elder guy caressing his head.

"I miss you, Sleepy head!" Kendall snapped out.

James smiled, his hand reached Kendall's face to wipe his tears, "I miss you too, Kendall."

Kendall glared to the brunet in anger, "Don't you ever do this again, ever!"

"I won't. I promise." James smiled.

Kendall leaned his head, their nose tip touched each other, "Do you think is it okay if I kiss you?" he whispered.

James shrugged, "If you don't mind with blood-ish and antiseptic-ish taste inside my mouth and..."

The blond cut off his words with a kiss, the passionate they both been craving for. Kendall locked his fingers on James' hair, carefully pulled his body into his hug. James' left hand hug Kendall's torso and his right hand was up to the blond's head and locked into his hair, pulling it softly as the kiss got more intense.

James parted his lips to give Kendall entrance and the blond carefully explored the elder male's mouth. Their tongues were battling in each other mouth. Kendall didn't taste antiseptic flavor or worse, blood, but it was all James'. He always tastes so good and pure. He tasted heavenly.

"Wow," James broke the kiss, "That's..."

Kendall chuckled, "You miss it, don't you?"

"One hundred percent for sure," James smiled, "So... uh... How are you?"

Kendall stared to the hazel eyes, the eyes that he'd been missing of, "Never been better! In every second in my life without you feels like the division of the heart."

James touched Kendall's face, caressing it softly like his face was something that could be broken so soon, "I owe a life to you, Kendall. You are my life saver."

Kendall shook his head, "No, I owe you."

"Why?" James frowned, "If you didn't donor your kidney to me, I wouldn't be here. I feel grateful for that."

"James," Kendall cut him, "I love you. You probably didn't remember any of this, but I told you, from now on... I will love you unconditionally and endlessly. I did something I'm not proud of and hurt you so much and I can promise that I won't let that happen again. You can keep my words."

The brunet smiled, "I never loved you any more than I do right this second and I'll never love you any less than I do right this second, Kendall."

Kendall placed a gentle peck on the brunet's lips, "So, we're back together?"

James chuckled, "We never broke up, my dear."

"I'm sorry, I made the worst decision," Kendall wrapped their fingers, "I'm so sorry. I really am."

James kissed Kendall's forehead gracefully, "No matter what has happened. No matter what you've done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it."

Kendall nodded, "No matter what. Forever,"

The brunet nodded in agreement, "I have a part of you now, Kendall."

Kendall smirked, "You are mine, James."

James chuckled, "Seriously, I have your organ inside my body!"

They both laughed. Kendall pulled up his shirt until the scar showed up, "Organ sharing? We are definitely the most attractive couple."

James laughed.

God, Kendall missed his lover's laugh. Kendall stared at his boyfriend, "You are a really beautiful human being, James Diamond."

James smiled, "and this beautiful human being happens to be yours."

"Fuck, that's sexy!" Kendall chuckled.

"Hey, Kendall,"

"Yeah?"

"Marry me."


	19. Chapter 19

Kendall stopped chuckling. His eyes went wider as he heard what was the elder male just said, "What?"

James cupped his face and gently placing a soft kiss on Kendall's nose tip, "I said, marry me, Kendall."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kendall couldn't hide his shock.

"Do I look like I'm joking right now?" James frowned, "No! Even though I don't have a ring right now, but I am mindfully asking you Kendall Knight, will you make me the happiest man alive by spending the rest of our lives together?"

Holy shit!

"James..." Kendall cleared his throat, "You just woke up from coma... and I think you probably get a llittle bit confuse..."

"Kendall!"

The blond took a deep breath, "Holy shit, are you serious?!"

James rolled his eyes, "Coma in my ass! I am fucking serious, you slutty fucking bastard!"

Kendall chuckled, "Wow... You cursed a lot."

"Knight!" James yelled.

Kendall chuckled. He pulled his boyfriend's body into his hug, "Fuck, James, I love you so fucking much!"

James annoyed, "Uh huh... I just proposed you and you think it's a joke just because I just woke up from coma."

Kendall released his hug, "I'm shock, you sillyhead!"

"Whatever!" James pouted.

"That's sexy. Do that again for me!"

James pushed Kendall's body, "Just go! You are so annoying."

"Okay," Kendall nodded, "I need to tell you something before I go."

James sighed, "I'm listening."

Kendall cupped James' face, "You asked me to make you the happiest man alive and now here is my turn to ask you, to pass through life at my side, to be my second self and best earthly and heavenly companion." After his words, Kendall kissed James in his lips. He could feel James smiled between their sweet kiss.

James placed a bouquet of flowers on Shane Adams' grieve then stepped back, standing side by side with his fiancé.

"Shane," Kendall talked to the cold gray stone, "I'm going to marry your brother. Here, I'm asking your blessing for us." He stood on his knee, placing another bouquet.

"You were right about I'm going to meet the person who will be my last. The person is your brother himself." Kendall turned his head, staring at James behind his black aviator.

James smiled. He didn't say anything just wrapped their fingers as he gave Kendall energy.

"I'm going to marry him," Kendall smiled. His eyes couldn't take off of James, "He is the man that I always wanted, the person that I want to spend my life with."

James opened his shades, "I never had a chance to meet you in person, Shane, but I know you are the good person. Happen to be your brother is one of the best things in my life."

"You are the one of the best things that ever happened to my life, Shane Adams. I will always love you." Kendall added.

James nodded, "You're the one who put us together. I couldn't be more grateful from that. Thank you."

**KENDALL AUSTIN KNIGHT**

**and **

**JAMES DAVID DIAMOND**

**Together with their families cordially invited **

**the honor of your presence at the celebration of their marriage **

**Saturday, the second of July **

**Two thousand and sixteenth **

**Five o'clock in the evening **

**144 Lodge Way, Lake Placid, NY 12946, United States**

"Hey," Kendall peeked from the doorstep, smiling to James who sat on his bed with laptop on his lap, "What are you doing?"

James smiled, "Working. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in your bed."

The younger male walked in and jumped to the bed, curled his skinny body nex to James, "I can't sleep."

James running his fingers on Kendall's lock, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know..." Kendall looked up to stare at his fiance, "Wedding jitters, maybe?"

James chuckled, "Yeah, me too."

"Really?" Kendall half sitting on the bed, "Come on! You're the James Diamond!"

James shrugged, "I get anxiety whenever something big happens such as... the first time I said I love you to you, I got nervous."

Kendall smirked, "I don't believe it."

"You should," James typed something on his laptop, "Go get some sleep, Kendall. Tomorrow is a big day."

Kendall nodded, "Yeah but please let me do something to my fiance." he placed a kiss on James' neck made the brunet shivered.

"Hm... Kendall, don't tease me. I'm working."

The blond male kept doing his action, "You're not supposed to be working, tomorrow is your wedding day, James." he licked James' earlobe.

James closed his eyes, breathed heavily, "I need to send some important files to my client. Stop doing that, Kendall Knight..."

"Or what?" Kendall teased him. He sucked James' neck, "I need something to unervous me."

James closed his laptop and turned his body to kiss Kendall on the lips and laid him on the bed, "Stop teasing me, Kendall." he chuckled, "We're not supposed to be in the same bed actually."

Kendall pecked James' lips, "We're not traditional anyway..."

"Right," James rested his body next to Kendall, "I don't want you to get tired."

"I'm not tired."

James rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean."

Kendall pulled the sheet to cover their body, "Why are you nervous?" his body rolled to face James.

"I..." James stared at the ceiling as he was trying to find good words to explain, "I'm afraid I'll be a bad husband for you."

Kendall never saw James looked this nervous before - no, this wasn't a nervous, a deep anxiety. He cupped James' face, "You'll be the best husband, James."

James smiled, "I never do something like this before, not even to picture myself will marry someone like you. You're my first. My first love, my first boyfriend, my first fiance... well, that came out so weird." he chuckled, "So yeah, you are the one that makes me do something that I never think I'm capable of."

"So that's why you'll be a good husband, James. You're perfect."

James kissed Kendall's forehead, "I promise I'll be the one."

"I will too," Kendall smiled, "Do you want to know what makes me nervous?"

"What?"

Kendall rested his head on James' shoulder, "You'll be wearing tuxedo and fucking handsome tomorrow. I'm afraid everyone will fall in love with you."

James laughed, "That's silly."

"It is not," Kendall chuckled, "It is possible."

James tighten his hug, "Come on, let's get some sleep, Kendall. I will be very mad if you are late to come to the altar."

Kendall buried his face on James' chest, "Yeah, I don't want to be late to meet my husband tomorrow."

James smiled and placed a kiss on Kendall's head, "Good night, soon to be Mr. Diamond."

James stared at his reflection on the big mirror hanging on the wall on his dressing room. Today was the day, the day he'd been waiting for his entire life, the day he would marry to the guy he loved and cherished with all his heart, the day he would be the husband to the one and only Kendall Knight.

He wore an expensive high-end black tuxedo complete with a vest and bowtie with the same color and white shirt underneath. The tuxedo's lines were sharp, clean and tailored. It was a handmade tuxedo from the Italian tailor. James wanted the best for his day.

"Are you ready, Mr. Diamond?" Ryan asked. He was already in his a white suit, the exact same suit with the other best men.

James smiled, "I am."

He walked out from the dressing room with Ryan, meeting his family and relatives on the porch who were chatting and enjoying the snacks before heading to the vows' venue, the lodge dock.

"James Diamond!" Camille ran toward him on her elegant chiffon halter white mini dress. Her brunette hair was braided and tied on a side bun. She looked really effortlessly beautiful with a simple makeup.

James hugged her tight, "Miss Roberts, you look gorgeous."

She chuckled, "Look at yourself, soon to be Kendall's husband! You look like a Giorgio Armani's model! You are so fucking hot!"

Now that's James' turned to laugh, "Thank you, Camille."

After a short of chatting, James and all of the people on the porch headed to the lodge. He could feel his heart pounding inside. He looked around, on his left was his Mom, Brooke Diamond with the white long dress and her brunette hair was on the perfect bun, then on his right was his Dad, Arthur Diamond, on his white tuxedo. They both were smiling and looked really happy. James couldn't be more grateful than today.

Behind him were the rest of families and relatives, Camille and her parents and brother, Tom and his family and other family members who were excited to this immensely great wedding.

He was arrived. The wedding venue was more than beautiful. The lodge dock with the blue waters of Lake Placid under the feet, along with it was the amazing view of Whiteface Mountain serving as the backdrop.

The officiant was already there, waiting for both of partners to get arrived. James waited for his soon to be husband on the start line of the aisle while the guests took a seat.

There he was, walking elegantly with a bright beautiful smile and a pair of gorgeous green eyes, Kendall Knight with his own family and relatives, headed to the vows venue.

Kendall Knight was ready. He wore the exact same black tuxedo with his fiancé which fit him well and made his skinny body looked great, his blond hair combed neatly, his clean face looked so fresh. He couldn't be any happier than today, the day when his dreams were finally coming true. Today, the special day that he would never forget for his entire life, a very special day to finally marry the man he always wants.

Jo pulled him into a warm hug. The blonde goddess put her locks into a side bun, simple and natural eye makeup and red lips, she wore a white chiffon halter mini dress as what the bridesmaids wore even though in this wedding, there's no bride, "God, if you're not my best friend and not going to marry James Diamond, I would attack you with kisses on the hot lips of yours!" she joked, "You are so handsome, Kendall!"

Kendall smiled and placed a kiss on her flushed cheek, "and you are the most beautiful young lady I've ever know."

The band was also here. Logan, Carlos and Dustin were on the best men's white tuxedo. The all bundled up and so stoked to be the wedding band. They would do an acoustic session for the entire wedding ceremony until the other band would take their place on wedding party.

Kendall still thinking he was dreaming. Happen to marry the best guy he'd ever known was beyond his imagination. Once again, it felt like a dream. It felt like his dreams do come true.

"Kendall, it's time!" his Mom shouted from outside of dressing room, reminding him.

They all were headed to the lodge. Kendall was walking next to his Mom who hardly tried to stop crying, and Jo who was couldn't stop smiling. What a comparison. Behind him were Logan, Dustin, Carlos and others Kendall's families and relatives. They only invited 100 people. James agreed that he wanted this wedding to be a sacral ceremony, to be the private event, even though the media were already knew once they hand out the wedding invitations. He hoped everything was running well today.

The weather never been better, it was cloudy but not windy. It was warm and fresh, and the sun sneaked out from the back of the clouds. It was like the universe joined him for his wedding day.

"Are you nervous?" Jo whispered beside him.

Kendall chuckled, "No. I..." he stopped talking once his eyes locking into the tall handsome man on the same tuxedo with him, the hazel eyed and brunet locks with the pink lips pulling into a real smile. James was already standing in the start line of the aisle, waiting for him.

His fiancé, his soon to be husband.

James and Kendall walked up along with the officiant to the front of the aisle. The guests from both sides were sat orderly with seating arrangements. The officiant took his place on the front of the grooms.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here on this glorious day to witness the union of these two people and to celebrate the love they share."

Kendall turned his head to James, the brunet was also do the same, smiling at him. The blond gave him a smile.

"Please repeat after me," he looked to James, "I, James Diamond, take you Kendall Knight, to be my husband. I promise to uphold the individuality and equality of our spirits, to share your joys and sorrows, to care for you in times of sickness, and to love you no matter what happens in our lives." he stated.

James turned his body to facing Kendall, lips pulling into a confident smile, "I, James Diamond, take you Kendall Knight to be my husband. I promise to uphold the individuality and equality of our spirits, to share your joys and sorrows, to care for you in times of sickness, and to love you no matter what happens in our lives."

Every word out from James' mouth was like the magic for Kendall which was really beautiful. The back sound of their vows was the acoustic music which played by three of their best friends. It's magical, the magnificent one.

The officiant turned to Kendall, "Please repeat after me. I, Kendall Knight, take you James Diamond to be my husband. I promise to uphold the individuality and equality of our spirits, to share your joys and sorrows, to care for you in times of sickness, and to love you no matter what happens in our lives."

Kendall took a long deep breath, filling his lungs with the oxygen, "I, Kendall Knight, take you James Diamond to be my husband. I promise to uphold the individuality and equality of our spirits, to share your joys and sorrows, to care for you in times of sickness, and to love you no matter what happens in our lives."

"I do."

"I do."

Camille and Jo who each of them were brought a wedding ring on a tray, stood by next to each grooms. The officiant guided the grooms to exchange rings. James took the silver ring from Camille's tray and slipped on Kendall's ring finger. Moment later, it was Kendall turned to take the ring from Jo's tray and slipped the ring on James' ring finger.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present you James Diamond and Kendall Diamond Knight as a married couple."

James pulled Kendall waist into his body and kissed his lips. Kendall didn't hesitate to put his hands around James' waist, closed the distance between them. This was the moment when both of them felt the world stops for the briefest of times and the only thing between them was the everlasting feeling that grew stronger in every second they caught an air.

The guests were standing, clapping and smiling for them. Brooke and Jennifer had their time to smile and wipe the tears at the same time, happened to Jo and Camille as well.

After the ceremony was over, Kendall and James were walking on the aisle for the first time as husband, their friends were throwing the confetti. They both walked until the center of the venue. Kendall took his place in front of the standing microphone.

"Is it on?" he joked.

James chuckled and walked to the grand piano behind Kendall and the blond continued, "I'd like to thank everyone who came here to be witnesses on our special day. We wouldn't be here without support from all of you," He turned his head to see James and his husband just nodded.

"We have something for you," James added, "As a gift from me and my husband."

Kendall took the guitar, "I hope you enjoy it."

James played the intro beautifully with the piano, everyone seemed to enjoy his mini recital. Kendall started to pick his guitar and sang,

_Everything has changed since I met you_  
_My heart was broken_  
_Hope was overdue_

_Running empty_  
_Running out of time_  
_Thought I lost my mind_  
_But everything has changed since I met you_

_Nothing is the same since I met you_  
_My heart sometimes is easy to get due_  
_With shadows of the past disturb my night_  
_Make them run and hide_  
_Cause nothing is the same since I met you_

Kendall's mind went back to the first time he met James at the park, to the first time he saw his face. He remembered all of the scenes and feelings. How it was hurt when he saw James for the first time, how it was made him shock and happy at the same time. How it was hurt knowing James looked like Shane Adams. His fear and confusion went away after James convinced him that the brunet loved him so much.

Now it was James' turn. His voice was the thing that made the song even more perfect. They both didn't realize how their song made the guests once again cried.

_Everything has changed since I kissed you_  
_I never thought the love could be this true_  
_When I thought that feeling couldn't last_  
_When you kissed me back_  
_Cause everything has changed since I kissed you _

James' mind went back to the first time he kissed Kendall on his office, to the first time he said 'I love you Kendall Knight', to the first time he saw Kendall again after 2 weeks in coma and Kendall's smile was something that made him one hundred percent sure he wanted this man in his life. How it was made him afraid to propose him at first but it all went away when he stared to Kendall's green eyes. He sure nothing in this world except Kendall that he wanted for the rest of his precious life.

_Everything has changed since I met you_

_And I hoped that I have changed your whole world too_

_Here and now_  
_Just hear me out_

_Through fear and doubt_  
_I'd never let you down_  
_I'd never let you... oh_

_Here and now_  
_Just hear me out_

_Through fear and doubt_  
_I'd never let you down_  
_I'd never let you down_

_(Everything Has Changed - Heffron Drive)_

The guests gave them standing applause. James walked toward his husband and hugged his waist, they both bend as a sign that their performance was over. Their best friends cheered happily even Camille and Jo blew them a kiss.

Kendall and James stared at each other. None said anything but they both knew that today was beyond their imagination. They never thought this day would really happening to their life, not even once. They started this beautiful journey hardly, a lot of tears been falling through their ups and downs. They broke up once but God had other plan and put them back because they were meant to be together.


End file.
